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I ended it last night.

helpfulNest9115 September 28th, 2017

It needed to end. It is better to have it over. But, still... I am sad.

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helpfulNest9115 OP September 29th, 2017

wow. not a single comment. nice.

scarecrowMaybe September 29th, 2017

officially ended it two days before today, after making him ride the Ferris wheel with me

2 replies
helpfulNest9115 OP September 29th, 2017

@scarecrowMaybe - how are you doing, scarecrow? Hanging in there?

2 replies
scarecrowMaybe October 1st, 2017

@helpfulNest9115 I actually have no idea how i am doing... just avoiding asking that question to myself. guess I don't want to know d answer

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helpfulNest9115 OP September 29th, 2017

I was reading through some old texts last night - I found some dialog from back in February - back when I found out about the first BIG lie.

Me: How do you plan to regain my trust?

Him: It will take time I know. All I can say is there's is nothing for me anymore about which I would not tell you the truth If I have something hard to say it will just be said

My friends all told me to walk away - that he couldn't be trusted. I decided to forgive. I was wrong. A liar will lie. It is what they know. It is how they get what they want.

1 reply
amiablePeace77 September 29th, 2017

@helpfulNest9115

Sorry if you felt left alone and hardly got a response to your posts but I also just read them. You made an important decision and moved on, I have great respect for that, it is certainly not easy. I hope very much that things will get easier for you soon and that one day you will be able to forgive again so that your heart can heal.

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helpfulNest9115 OP September 29th, 2017

I spent most of the day yesterday in court filing for a restraining order. He is threatening me and unwilling to let go. I had no idea how hard it is to get a restraining order; how long it takes, how heavy the burden is to get one... how belittling it is to go in front of a judge and ask for it. How shaming the judge is when he shakes is head at you for being with someone who has mistreated you...

Anyone who says, "why don't they leave?" just doesn't really understand what is involved, I don't think.

bravePapaya7301 October 1st, 2017

I'm dating someone that used to be married. He went to dinner with his Ex saying they were going to discuss their son. They had dinner and drinks and I never heard from him, he texted they were meeting at 6 than 10 rolled around and I panicked. I texted him goodnight and he acted like it was normal and said goodnight and sorry we couldn't connect. He was still out with her. I had to text him which I found weird it takes 4 hours to get caught up?? They live in the same town and talk all the time about their son. I don't Think it is appropriate to do dinner and drinks when they talk on the phone. Regarding alamony child support whatever it is should be business and not a night on the town. Am I nuts??

I was so upset I broke up with him it upset me. Am I right to do so?

1 reply
SpecialBlanket3286 October 1st, 2017

@bravePapaya7301

you are not wrong for feeling it's weird. It IS weird! I've lived through this and you end up victimizing yourself thinking the problem is you. You are not wrong for feeling a panic and shame on him for laying the platform for you to feel this way. I'm not a relationship expert by any means; however, I saw your post and wanted to reach out to you.

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What2do1972 October 2nd, 2017

@helpfulNest9115. It is never easy, to let go. i beleive that what makes us sad also makes us stronger. I will be going through that soon.

1 reply
helpfulNest9115 OP October 4th, 2017

@What2do1972 - I am sorry to hear you are predicting it. That is a time - or was a time, for me, anyway - that felt very heavy and low. It's better now... except for the fear that he will turn up looking for me.

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helpfulNest9115 OP October 4th, 2017

So frustrated. Supposed to be in court tomorrow for the restraining order. Just found out a few minutes ago that they haven't even served him yet. So, I get to go to court tomorrow to hear them say that the defendent has not been served so come back in another week. Do they really think that people don't have jobs?

1 reply
helpfulNest9115 OP October 6th, 2017

He was not in court. They did not serve him with the restraining order. I had to be there or the order would have been dropped entirely. I have to be in court again next week. They may have served him by then; maybe not. It seems almost like they are attempting to make it more difficult or even harrass people who ask the court for these restraining orders.

1 reply
amiablePeace77 October 6th, 2017

@helpfulNest9115

I do not know for what reason the authorities could not do what had to be done in time but you definitely do not deserve to have all this trouble, you had enough of it already! this is frustrating, so sorry that you have to go through this. i wish you best luck for next week.

1 reply
helpfulNest9115 OP October 13th, 2017

Today, I got my restraining order. It may just be a simple piece of paper. It may not mean much, really. He used to always tell me: "a restraining order won't stop me." and, likely, it wouldn't. But, for some reason... no, for good reason, it makes me feel much stronger. I finally stood up. I finally told him NO. I said no and I said it with an exclamation point. I am so happy to finally have this in the rear view mirror.

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