How do you get over someone you thought was "the one"?
Back in March, my boyfriend of three years broke up with me out of the blue. It was the worst thing I've ever felt emotionally and it still hurts to this day. I felt like my world came crashing down, that I would never be happy again, and that my future and my dreams were shattered. We had a great relationship - we were chill with each other, we supported each other, we worked things out when problems arose, we trusted each other 100% and discussed having a future together. When I thought about my future, I saw him there by my side.Our families and friends thought we were great together and people looked at us as the couple that would last - the one that people said "if they break up, there's no hope for the rest of us". He told me the reason we broke up is because he needed to do what was best for him even though he hurt me in the process. My anxiety/stress was getting bad and it just seems like he completely gave up. He didn't want to fight anymore.It seems like he's exactly the same as when we were together, he just doesn't have to worry about me and my anxiety. I still want to talk to him - I feel like I still need answers and closure. I still would like to keep him as a friend, but I don't know how easy that's going to be. I just want to get some closure but I don't know what to say to him.I'm trying to get back out there and talk to some new guys but I feel so guilty talking to them and I'm so scared that if something does happen with one of these new guys, I'm just going to end up getting hurt all over again. I can't deal with it. If anyone has advice on how to get over it or what I should do regarding talking to him, I would really appreciate it.
I am sorry everyone here is going through relationship break -ups. To be in a relationship is hard! I have been married almost 12 yrs. That has really been difficult. Everyone brings their own baggage, sometimes you don't realize what kind of baggage is too much, my husband has many undiagnosed issues that are getting worse and the older I get the more I can't deal with them, I have my own stuff, like anxiety, panic attacks and depression, I take meds to keep it from controlling my life, but he doesn't think he has any problems. I sometimes wonder if it would be easier to not be in this relationship, I guess what I am trying to say is , I guess love is blind and in the beginning easy, but eventually it gets harder, and being with a mentally healthy person can be a difference between a good relationship or a rocky one. Sorry for the rambling. Wishing you all the best! Hugs for everyone hurting!
@jr5o I'm sorry to hear that. I guess, breaking up before and after marriage has its own different. Seriously, i do not if I have the capacity to love again. Hearing stories of failed marriage and relationship from my mum scares me. I beginning to fear relationships/ marriage.
He claimed that he still loves me but could not go on anymore. I doesn't want a breakup and he offered the last option : let both of us have a one month cool down period to re-evaluation our relationship again but hoesntly, I know that he will not change his mind. The result will be the same after the one month. He texted me a happy Valentine's Day and when I wished him as well, we didn't contact each other. I'm puzzled.
I've quitted my job, cause anyway, I wasn't happy working there and now with this incident, I doesn't have any motivation to work there anymore. I even took a weeks leave to grieve. Moreover, I asked my mum to took leave to accompany me at home. I felt so weak, immature and unprofessional.
my cousins and friends are happily married and I am really wondering what's wrong with my life. Why are there so many failures and obstacles in my life :(
@Reliablemango123. Yes you are so right marriage and before marriage break ups have their own problems, but because you aren't in a relationship, doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you, sometimes it takes a while to find someone who really cares and loves for who you are, there is never a perfect mate, just gotta decide what kind of faults you can tolerate and what you won't.
@jr5o Thanks for the reply. For now, I don't dare to habour any thoughts of finding another who truly loves me etc. I am so afraid of being hurt again. This failure hits me the hardest and I'm still grieving as this happens only a week ago. It's too sudden and unexpected for me to accept it.
I guess, the first thing I have to do while recovering is to become a even better person myself. To be more caring, understanding, consider person.
@versatileApple4527
I'm sorry to hear about the breakup <3 :( You're not alone! I'm also sorry that you struggle with anxiety - anxiety can really be a pain in the butt and makes things more difficult. Have the two of you spoken since the break up?
You are not the only one been through this shit, sometimes, I just wonder what did I do to deserve these pains, but shits happens, I am sorry, I have no advice and I am even seeking advice right now.
I am in love with a person, that's all, I love this man, no matter he is my boyfriend or ex-boyfriend or roommate, I don't care, I just love him, even he said he didn't have any feelings for me now, so what, can I stop loving him, NO, i cannot control myself, I love him, I still love him, that's the worst thing.
I don't know how to be myself again, and I just decided to left, everyone said time can heal, I want to believe it.
