@blackvenus09
Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;
So, it's been over a year and I checked my ex's instagram and he has a girlfriend now. (Its not a good idea to check an ex social media because it'll bring back some memories specially if you have not heal completly).
She is really pretty in the traditional instagram way.
I feel...upset. I'm just remembering how badly he used to treat me, while he seems to adore her.(it's best to avoid seeing his social media, basically you are comparing how he treated you, and how he is supposedly treating her, and then it'll make you feel hurt, sad and not good enough by seeing that. It's torture going through this, you don't need this kind of hurt in your life).
He broke up with me because I have a chronic illness (he called me 'sickly' and when he broke up with me said, 'how would you feel if I were the sickly one and you were the healthy one?) (This is very rude and disrespectful, he is not a good person at all. I could tell he wanted to hurt your feelings) He did all of this despite the fact that he is deaf in one ear and hard of hearing in the other one and balding at age 29. I accepted all of that because I loved him. (He shouldn't judge you)
He used to mock my illness and when I would talk about being sick would mock me in a whiny voice and call me childish and a baby. (Thats a person who is abusive, minimizes your feelings and your sickness, doesn't communicate like an adult, an avoidant one who doesn't really care about his feelings so he doesn't care about others feelings).
It really messed with my self-esteem. It's just so messed up how he was able to move on much faster than me despite being a piss-poor human being. (He is an avoidant one, these kind of people dismiss their own feelings so they will dismiss yours. They don't attach well to others so for them its very easy to walk away from any relationship. These kind of people don't change, so they will not do well when it comes to relationships, closeness makes them feel very uncomfortable). He told me he was not sorry about how he treated me and that he didn't care. (People like him don't feel any remorse for anything they did, they are revengeful, they seek to hurt others after a breakup. You don't deserve someone cruel as him).
I guess I am in my feelings because he was my first everything. Idk. It still hurts. (It's understandable it hurts, it does seem like you haven't heal completly, you are slowly the healing progress by checking his social media or things about him)