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Endless Cycle of Breakups

rene9250 April 23rd, 2020
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So I admit, I'm not good at being single. It's been 2 weeks since my ex and I have broken up and I have urges to reach out, like really badly because I miss him so much even though I was the one who ended things. Would it be wrong to text him? Why am I still holding on to him even though I know we weren't right for each other as of now?

And, I guess it's not helping me that I'm trying to distract myself with other guys... cause his love/attention was different.

I guess I still want him to be a part of my life, I guess I wish and hope he will be the one in the future cause he's such a good person, but he didn't treat me the way I wanted. I just feel like I need to journal more or something and stop stalking his social media to see if he's going to do another petty thing. I just want the pain to stop, I just want to move on. I know that I'm a good person, a good girlfriend, I guess I'm just scared that I'll never find a good boyfriend because I never feel satisfied after months of being "in love," and I'm not sure if it's because I have high expectations? it's hard for me to stay in relationships past 6 months because I just become either sad or bored. It's an endless cycle.

3
sittingforyou April 23rd, 2020
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@rene9250..Relationship is the manifestation of our own inner nature, how we see ourselves, handle ourselves and see life. Many inner characteristics appear when you enter in a relationship, thats why we learn much about ourselves after entering in a relationship. So, in my view see the patterns of your breakups and learn from every experience, and have a clear goal , what you expect from a relationship. It surely helps you. Best wishes

rene9250 OP April 23rd, 2020
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@sittingforyou

yes you're right, thank you!

Sventek May 21st, 2020
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@sittingforyou

I love the way you put that.

Prior to grabbing the label maker and turning a dating situation into a committed relationship, perhaps there is something to taking your sweet time and getting to really know the other person before calling it a relationship. I think that in our society, we're often very quick to ask, "Where is this going," & "What is this we're sharing," almost out of an internal need to fully understand what intentions are going to be, attempting to play "predict some of the future" and in the process, we take a lot of spontaneity, lessons needed, and learning out of the whole situation -- which is why a lot of people end up in a relationship with someone they barely know, aren't compatible with, and then get stuck or are out of the relationship faster than some people change socks.

Relationships establish over time and build slowly. Rushing never works. I think "mama" was right.

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