Breakup - full of anger and disappointment
I broke up with him a few weeks ago, after not being in touch for a month. End of October he came over (would have been in a long distance for 3 years this year) after not seeing each other and realised that there's been no real interest on his part in anything other than sex and him feeling comfortable. First day we spent together was him insisting on sleeping together even though I repeatedly rejected the idea. Eventually caved in and something broke in me I guess, couldn't be bothered to.communicate what was wrong and couldn't stand his touch or contact that much. Felt like I emotionally and mentally gave up. He asked if I was ok and that I seem upset, but I told him I'll be ok; his reaction was to lock himself in his room and next day acting like any other normal day.
It was such an unpleasant feeling to be around him that I started feeling physically sick. After 2 days with him I went back to my place, and requested from him a week of distance, him replying that I haven't talked with him since he got to me anyway, so I can "have at it". A week goes by and none of us gets in touch with each other, continuing for one month of silence and me deciding breaking up is the healthiest solution.
Now here I am, feeling relieved and more focused, but feeling lonely, ashamed and most of all angry. Any suggestions on how to work through the anger and bad sleep?
Sorry for the long post.
Thank you.
@easyBeing4723 hey I feel for you actually because I was in a relationship, not long distance, but I really do feel this guy was just using me for his comforts, so basically more like an object of sorts for his own pleasure. I feel responsible but I also don't because I feel like he did everything possible to manipulate me and get me to do what he wanted. I also caved, and I recognize it was partly my decision but also not. If you allow me to say so but speaking for myself, it's almost like or like a violation, so it would be understandable that you would feel this way. Personally I am grieving but I also recognize I don't have the will or energy to be doing this. I am tired, I have other worries and most of all I worry that my time is passing me by, I am in my 40s so him being 50 years old, I wasn't expecting this immaturity, but I can tell you for sure this is what it is.
Follow your gut, I know how hard it is to feel this way, you have all my support, and I am sorry I cannot write more, I had such a long day and I am so tired.
@easyBeing4723
I am sorry you went through that and it is understandable that you felt awful after when you realized taht was really all he was after ....... the anger will fade and you can't blame yourself you took a chance that even if it was before you wanted to you thought there was more to the relationship then that ..... some guys are good actors make you feel like they care but only the same old "wham bam thank you mam. "
Yes, feels like you're tricked. Being in a long distance didn't really help either. Started feeling off 1 year in but I thought my mind was wrong into questioning things...hope the anger fades and you're right, it's just...tiring
@easyBeing4723i have done the long distance thing and i constantly questioned is this real or is this just saying wht they think i want to hear looks like he knew enough of the right things to say and maybe you fell for it once but glad your senses told you STOP this is NO good
Agreed. Suppose it's wishful thinking when you care deeply for someone and you ignore your gut yelling at you to wake up.
@easyBeing4723 I was lying awake thinking how it seems impossible that I would fall for something like this. If you want I can try writing you again on here when I am not so tired
still feeling pretty horrible, I got some sleep but not much. I think I am going to take a break. I do hope you feel better. I was going to write more, I have some more information I didn't share but that was more or less the gist of it. I hope you can get through the day, and I think it's a good thing you are long distance and far apart. Just be glad that it didn't continue more than it did, and if that's what you wanted. Although he was not honorable, in the end you made your decision, so now he will have to live with your absence. That is the only thing that I can think about to feel better.
