Affair confusion
Ok so my spouse had an affair and called affair partner by my pet name. Spouse says it's because it was the OP's fantasy. It really hurts also all the intimacies they shared sexually and emotionally were the exact ones we share. But the really hurtful thing is my spoused has denied me of my sexual fantasies for years but acted all those fantasies out with the affair partner. Now I was the unfortunate one that discovered all the communication videos and photos so there is no hiding what was said and done. But the thing that I do not comprehend is my spouse says when the things are done or said to me they have meaning but when the same acts or words are done with the affair partner they do not. I will say the passionate things said to me were taken on step further with the affair partner. So this leaves me believing that my spouse is full of s^*t. We have been together 22 years and I am the type of person that won't tell you something unless I mean it. But I know I am different then most people. Can anyone help me understand how to sperate words and meanings by who they are said to? It really bothers me because I am a logical thinker and this I not logical to me. I feel like I need my boots for this one.