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Advice??
Blazeyblur October 25th, 2017
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I am really struggling on deciding this.

My ex-boyfriend dumped me about 5 months ago. Can't believe it has been that long already. In some ways, it feels longer and in others, it doesn't feel that long at all.

Our relationship was challenging. Outside factors affected our relationship. When he was at his best, he was amazing. When he was at his worst, he was terrible. His parents were the outside factor... they treated me terribly and he got the same medicine. He had always been their Cinderella, but worse. I tried to be patient and understanding with him. At first, it was tolerable. We defended ourselves and did our thing, but after a while, he started treating me like crap any time he was around his family. However, when we were together whether it was with friends or just us, he treated me well. The more he visited his family, the worst he got towards me. I became his emotional punching bag and only contacted me when he needed something. I confronted him and he apologized. He told me he loves me and wouldn't know what to do without me... We returned back to our home area from college (we live in the same area and he attended school and I was doing an internship in the same area) A week after we got back, he dumped me. He said he didn't love me anymore. He cares, just not like that. Throughout the summer, he told me that he cries at night when he gets drunk because he feels terrible for hurting me. He's so proud of me. I am really showing my worth. Then right before I ended contact, he told me that he got confused about the feelings, friends with benefits and true love and that he's a jerk (another choice word was picked) and I can do better. He hated degrading himself like that, but I deserved better.

When we met to say goodbye, he said he was sorry for all the pain he put me through. Wishes he could take it away and he'll always be in my corner rooting for me. He's a jerk and I am not an idiot.

I wanted to write him a letter or ask him to meet up. Kind of talk and tell him I forgive him, but I don't know if I should.

6
SilentSerenityy October 26th, 2017
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@Blazeyblur

I removed your duplicate thread and moved this one to the relationship community.

Blazeyblur OP October 26th, 2017
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@SilentSerenityy

Thank you. I was having problems posting it

alfredooo November 2nd, 2017
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@Blazeyblur yes i think you should

Blazeyblur OP November 3rd, 2017
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@alfredooo

just saw this! Can you explain why?

Booklover95 December 30th, 2017
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@Blazeyblur

Deppends of the reason why you want it. I mean , do you really need to meet with him to say to yourself "I forgive, but don't forget "?

I think your ex was seriously pressured by his family.

I was in the same situation as you with my last ex and the relationship was incredibly abusive. My advice is you have to understand even though makes sense they are influentiated by their families, it does NOT make it ok. Does not make it ok to treat you like crap and go back and forth with your feelings.

You deserve to feel loved and worth it, not worthless and like a doll that he plays with.

I think he needs to find his place and stand up to his family for once and for all. Family is important and for that same reason is important to put boundaries. When people let family interfere with relationships almost never ends up well.

So my advice is just to move on. I'm sure he loved you and you loved him. But he didn't treat you well darling and you deserve much better.

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