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Relationship Stress Community: Check-In (Dec 16 - 22)

by KatePersephone

1 day ago

...See more Hello there, Relationship Stress Community! To start off this week… * How are you feeling today? * What’s a song you could listen to on repeat forever? * Cozy socks or fluffy blankets? Excited to hear from all of you! Have a great week ahead <3 ------------------------- Are you new to the Relationship Stress community? Introduce yourself here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/CommunitySpace_1256/NewtotheRelationshipStressCommunityIntroduceyourselfhere_164924/]! Do you want to be the first to get updates on discussions and events? Consider joining the taglist [https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/CommunitySpace_1256/RelationshipStressAutomatedTaglist_222210/]! Do you want to be updated on the weekly discussions in the Relationship Support Room? Subscribe to this thread [https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/CommunitySpace_1256/RelationshipStressGroupSupportSessionsSchedule_316598/]! Do you want to help out in the Relationship Stress Community? Consider becoming a forum supporter [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSefNgW-Va7dyBx67M3d27INmkndnwm1C3Ywa7NJoFa2EscQkA/viewform] or a room supporter [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSetyJ7jp7W52-EIpqvFYLhfmpsgTW4BbzUwmi9r22OQ9AdH8w/viewform]! ------------------------- tagging the community: @00Nyx00 @1funredhead @4Jasmine @6Dragonflies @aabrah @Aathmika @AbbyHarris1976 @abiior @AbusgaKayatasha @Adarlya @adhdgal1992 @adribrown7 @adventurousPal4301 @Affliction1 @Albatrosinthesky @Allieeee1121 @AlyGalaxy @AmandaRose89 @AMomentInTime1830 @Anexmos @Angelcrossing1986 @AnotherPerson92 @answers @AntenorA @aPeacefulafternoon @AquaNavySky @Arman13 @ashlynnmarie22 @AshtynLuv97 @Asru @Athenathebluejay420 @Auditormadness9 @auntmommy @Avaboo @AveryLove @awkwardRice @azureSky1487 @Bea945 @beanie @BeginningFixing @blueberryjean345 @blueDog2773 @BlueEast @Booklover95 @Bossedupx3 @bouncyVoice4149 @braveGlobe2817 @bravePeach4448 @breeuniqemsns @Breevus @brightOcean2387 @BrooklynM @Bubbles120 @bubblyFaith17 @bunnyhugs616 @Busranurr @BwahahaLove @c9frexs @caitlin1217 @Callies07132017 @CalmingStar @Calmpineapple @caringCreature8571 @CaringCharlie @CarrieHolmes @Cexe @charmingbeauty55 @ChrisA97 @Chrisbgood46 @Clarisse29 @Colourfultiger @ComingOutAsNB @CompassionateYoshi88 @confidentVision4766 @conscientiousPineapple1782 @ConversationThot404 @Cparsons816 @CraigyP @crazycountry210 @creativeComputer2115 @DanaMH @dancersoul @dancingLake682 @DanielaC @DanielGarzaV @daydreammemories @decisiveScarf8956 @Den2542 @discreetShip7372 @DogFish1 @doodlefroggie @dopey @EchoTheDragon @electricLily13 @ella12346 @ELLE @Emirson2018 @EncouragingSteps @enthusiasticTortoise6681 @eohseo @Everythingisbetterinyourpyjamas @EvolvedScorpio @Explorer6115 @exuberantStrawberries9544 @faithfulHickory1025 @Falkenberg @fantasticDancer50 @Feepersane @Floatingbubbles @fluffycow27 @forcefulFriend4768 @Foreverchangedbyyou @Francescahelps @FranklyMaple @Freshmelon54 @Friendlycomfort81 @frostedPudding @Gabrielamtineo @generousWriter2778 @glasseyedgrace @GodsBabyGirl1981 @goldenFlower74 @gracefulVoice9463 @grassup @Gtalker8845 @GusteeMoon123 @gymnast9460 @Hailey3 @hairyxsnail @HarmonyBlossom @Hashib22 @HealingBrokenWIngs @healingHeart1111 @healinghearts0718 @Healingwhispers14 @Heartofgold07092019 @heavenlyHug9328 @helloapple1885 @helloCity5743 @hereforyoualways123 @heysunshine12 @hippiewannabe @honestWater4345 @honeypie720 @Hope3729 @hopefulPower54 @HopefulPower54 @HumorousPear1826 @iDeepScar @ILikeCilantro @imaginativeneverhappening @imofficiallyburnt @IMott71 @imrose123 @independentClementine6064 @infinitivethoughts2k19 @ingeniousfriend59 @intuitiveSummer6764 @JamilaBrownPsyD @Janet33 @JellyBean299 @jerom222 @joiefae @jwong611 @k87 @Kailah15 @kasmin21 @Katee02 @Katheryn @KatLis123 @Katrine92 @Kentsch @ketket68 @Kevin2009 @kindJoy3316 @kindLemon2749 @kizzyaaliyah @Kpopcat2020 @LadyDair @LadyInSilence @Lalonso2 @LavenderHere @lavenderOrange4849 @LeafOnABranch @LeoisListening @LePapillon @Lexloveslife @lightDrum8955 @lightLemonIsaac5408 @LightSoul108 @limeVillage7000 @Liv143 @Lovelylady18 @Lunasel @Lunaticphilosopher @luvkyleigh @lyricalPillow74 @lyricalpillow74 @madels20033 @magicalHorizon48 @mamapants @Mared @MarvelousMack11 @Mavvinder @mbrito712 @Mellietronx @Mellifluous11 @Mia1602 @MidwesternCalmSeeker @MikkyA @MilaAvery @MissDaria18 @MithLycos @modestPine7046 @Morpheus13 @MotherOfAVirgo @Mountainmystic777 @Mrrytu @MyownkindaCrazzi @nabilah17ism @navyOcean3488 @ngsuling1986 @niceCLEMEMTINE1415 @niceDaisy36 @Ninab0bina123 @ninetaleslove @NityaSpiritualHealer @NotAllHere713 @Offmytrack @onedirection1213 @OneErased @Open2Change @ouiCherie @OwenJackson73 @pandaprincess9 @Pandora3796 @pathFinder1725 @patientBranch9284 @peachkitty @PerpetuallyKekastrophic @persistentShade5213 @phia7292 @phia7293 @pioneeringSkies8568 @PlumBeechwood7549 @purpleMango7295 @PurplePansies21 @Purplerain00001 @purpleTree4652 @PurpleVelvet @quickwittedOwl8855 @quitahearsyou @Radioguy @Randomguyuk @Rebekahwriter13 @red85 @Rednuc270539 @rheyoflight @richbich @rieeavery1920 @RoboPhantom @Roro36 @RoseJuliet @rosenova1513 @rrrak @ryha3274 @Sadstan869 @Saeraleis @safetysource12 @Sailor57 @SaimaK @sarahR2004 @SavoyTruffle20 @selfloveisthecure88 @SentientiaPoecile @Seri123 @sgtdavis33 @ShareenBirgesBASSCounGDYMH @ShawnMendesGoals @She13 @ShineWithin @shugha14 @Siciturastra @Silver0824 @sincereFarm2814 @Skybar @skyfallingrain @Skywalker2002 @Skyy0 @sociableOcean9153 @Softheart01 @Solivagant2609 @somewhathappy @SophieKate547 @SparklingSnowflake15 @Spiritseaker @SpreadPeaceandlove @SpringWaltz @SquishySquid01 @StardustLetters @starplucker123 @Stephen @stephi0504 @strawberrywillow @Sugarcoat3 @SugareeIsMe091121 @Summershy @sunnyApricot6027 @SupportiveMonkey46 @sweetcake0707 @sweetlife101 @SylvestreX @Tahja07 @Tazzie @thegirlnatureforgot625 @TheMcManager @TheMushroomMan1216 @thisllpass @thisthenewme @Tiger222 @TranquilSkye @TravellingPrincess @tryingmybest7 @unassumingHuman4669 @understandingWater785 @Uniquesmiley @urbanwave @vallllllllllllll @w305 @warmheartedPlace7925 @Warrior2684 @Waves4 @Webehejdjfj @weirdbook @Wildarkberry @WinglessYetFlying @Wittie96 @WriterOfTheNight @WunderfrogWeirdo @xandia @XanFransisco @Xerah @YankeeOrangetiger @SpiritTea @Grammy23 @quietlistener2023 @HopefulOne81 @modestRaspberries7557 @BeautifullyLostxo @batgirl1234

New to the Relationship Stress Community? Introduce yourself here!! ❤️

by ASilentObserver

December 12th

...See more Greetings from the Relationship Stress Community!! Are you new to the Relationship Stress Community? Tell us some things about yourself and get to know others that joined the community this month! Question prompts: What brings you to the Relationship Stress community? What is one thing you love most about yourself (or, perhaps, your loved ones)? Benefits of being a member of the Relationship Stress Community: Give and receive support from others who are in relationships. Share your relationship journey (memories, struggles, challenges) in relevant topics comfortably. Participate in community activities and events (eg. Check-ins, Icebreakers, Forum Discussions) Plus, members who participate regularly could become part of the Relationship Stress team, as well! Here are some quick links for you to check out: our taglist [https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/CommunitySpace_1256/RelationshipStressAutomatedTaglist_222210/]! Join in to get updates on discussions and events. check out this post [https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/CommunitySpace_1256/RelationshipStressGroupSupportSessionsSchedule_316598/] for updates on weekly discussions! check out our newest check-in [https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/CommunitySpace_1256/RelationshipStressCommunityCheckInDec915_342093/] here! check this post [https://www.7cups.com/forum/RelationshipSupport_66/IntroduceyourselftotheRelationshipCommunity_239/HowToGetStarted_134558/] with more information on how to navigate the community. If you have any question, do not hesitate to contact KatePersephone [https://www.7cups.com/@KatePersephone] (teens and adults) or reply on this thread! Do not be a lurker! Join us and introduce yourself here!! tagging our newest subcribers: @lovingGrapefruit8860 @raspberryKiwi4131 @turquoiseNest9943 @pluckyAcres9036 @patientMango4300 @peanut123456789 @Dash0 @PuffyCloud23 @understandingComputer9065 @MaCara @automatonic @sincereLion3371 @MuresanAndre @VelvetPoppy @GreenBlaze @persistentBalsam5393 @ggoidell @RamneetKaur @charlenedelfin @skyraven02 @sereneMuse @Astraois42 @djadee @energeticShade4362 @loyalPeach3985 @pumpkincatmother @Mokuro @drowningmermaid88 @azureCoconut2121 ard [a brown and white bear dancing together while holding hands] ------------------------- Are you new to the Relationship Stress community? Introduce yourself here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/CommunitySpace_1256/NewtotheRelationshipStressCommunityIntroduceyourselfhere_164924/]! Do you want to be the first to get updates on discussions and events? Consider joining the taglist [https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/CommunitySpace_1256/RelationshipStressAutomatedTaglist_222210/]! Do you want to be updated on the weekly discussions in the Relationship Support Room? Subscribe to this thread [https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/CommunitySpace_1256/RelationshipStressGroupSupportSessionsSchedule_316598/]! Do you want to help out in the Relationship Stress Community? Consider becoming a forum supporter [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSehAkk72S0RWV1oQ5zShECQ6s-_fDYaxPE974iHorzqNRo1Ag/viewform] or a room supporter [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSetyJ7jp7W52-EIpqvFYLhfmpsgTW4BbzUwmi9r22OQ9AdH8w/viewform]! ------------------------- Edited by KatePersephone [https://www.7cups.com/@KatePersephone] on 16.12.24

Relationship Stress Automated Taglist

by Tazzie

December 9th

...See more Welcome to the Relationship Stress Taglist! This thread is an auto-updating list. The list is regularly updated and can be found below. Please direct any questions or issues to tommy [https://www.7cups.com/@tommy] via private message. Why should I join the taglist? ✔ Never miss out on the weekly check-ins ✔ Get tagged and notified by community leaders whenever a new relevant thread has been posted ✔ Become a more active member of the community. What do I need to do? ✅ To add yourself to this taglist, press the Post to Thread button above and write the exact words Please add me. ❌ To remove yourself from this taglist, press the Post to Thread button above and write the exact words Please remove me. Taglist updated by KateDoskocilova [https://www.7cups.com/@KatePersephone] on 01.12.24 @00Nyx00 @1funredhead @4Jasmine @6Dragonflies @aabrah @Aathmika @AbbyHarris1976 @abiior @AbusgaKayatasha @Adarlya @adhdgal1992 @adribrown7 @adventurousPal4301 @Affliction1 @Albatrosinthesky @Allieeee1121 @AlyGalaxy @AmandaRose89 @AMomentInTime1830 @Anexmos @Angelcrossing1986 @AnotherPerson92 @answers @AntenorA @aPeacefulafternoon @AquaNavySky @Arman13 @ashlynnmarie22 @AshtynLuv97 @Asru @Athenathebluejay420 @Auditormadness9 @auntmommy @Avaboo @AveryLove @awkwardRice @azureSky1487 @Bea945 @beanie @BeginningFixing @blueberryjean345 @blueDog2773 @BlueEast @Booklover95 @Bossedupx3 @bouncyVoice4149 @braveGlobe2817 @bravePeach4448 @breeuniqemsns @Breevus @brightOcean2387 @BrooklynM @Bubbles120 @bubblyFaith17 @bunnyhugs616 @Busranurr @BwahahaLove @c9frexs @caitlin1217 @Callies07132017 @CalmingStar @Calmpineapple @caringCreature8571 @CaringCharlie @CarrieHolmes @Cexe @charmingbeauty55 @ChrisA97 @Chrisbgood46 @Clarisse29 @Colourfultiger @ComingOutAsNB @CompassionateYoshi88 @confidentVision4766 @conscientiousPineapple1782 @ConversationThot404 @Cparsons816 @CraigyP @crazycountry210 @creativeComputer2115 @DanaMH @dancersoul @dancingLake682 @DanielaC @DanielGarzaV @daydreammemories @decisiveScarf8956 @Den2542 @discreetShip7372 @DogFish1 @doodlefroggie @dopey @EchoTheDragon @electricLily13 @ella12346 @ELLE @Emirson2018 @EncouragingSteps @enthusiasticTortoise6681 @eohseo @Everythingisbetterinyourpyjamas @EvolvedScorpio @Explorer6115 @exuberantStrawberries9544 @faithfulHickory1025 @Falkenberg @fantasticDancer50 @Feepersane @Floatingbubbles @fluffycow27 @forcefulFriend4768 @Foreverchangedbyyou @Francescahelps @FranklyMaple @Freshmelon54 @Friendlycomfort81 @frostedPudding @Gabrielamtineo @generousWriter2778 @glasseyedgrace @GodsBabyGirl1981 @goldenFlower74 @gracefulVoice9463 @grassup @Gtalker8845 @GusteeMoon123 @gymnast9460 @Hailey3 @hairyxsnail @HarmonyBlossom @Hashib22 @HealingBrokenWIngs @healingHeart1111 @healinghearts0718 @Healingwhispers14 @Heartofgold07092019 @heavenlyHug9328 @helloapple1885 @helloCity5743 @hereforyoualways123 @heysunshine12 @hippiewannabe @honestWater4345 @honeypie720 @Hope3729 @hopefulPower54 @HopefulPower54 @HumorousPear1826 @iDeepScar @ILikeCilantro @imaginativeneverhappening @imofficiallyburnt @IMott71 @imrose123 @independentClementine6064 @infinitivethoughts2k19 @ingeniousfriend59 @intuitiveSummer6764 @JamilaBrownPsyD @Janet33 @JellyBean299 @jerom222 @joiefae @jwong611 @k87 @Kailah15 @kasmin21 @Katee02 @Katheryn @KatLis123 @Katrine92 @Kentsch @ketket68 @Kevin2009 @kindJoy3316 @kindLemon2749 @kizzyaaliyah @Kpopcat2020 @LadyDair @LadyInSilence @Lalonso2 @LavenderHere @lavenderOrange4849 @LeafOnABranch @LeoisListening @LePapillon @Lexloveslife @lightDrum8955 @lightLemonIsaac5408 @LightSoul108 @limeVillage7000 @Liv143 @Lovelylady18 @Lunasel @Lunaticphilosopher @luvkyleigh @lyricalPillow74 @lyricalpillow74 @madels20033 @magicalHorizon48 @mamapants @Mared @MarvelousMack11 @Mavvinder @mbrito712 @Mellietronx @Mellifluous11 @Mia1602 @MidwesternCalmSeeker @MikkyA @MilaAvery @MissDaria18 @MithLycos @modestPine7046 @Morpheus13 @MotherOfAVirgo @Mountainmystic777 @Mrrytu @MyownkindaCrazzi @nabilah17ism @navyOcean3488 @ngsuling1986 @niceCLEMEMTINE1415 @niceDaisy36 @Ninab0bina123 @ninetaleslove @NityaSpiritualHealer @NotAllHere713 @Offmytrack @onedirection1213 @OneErased @Open2Change @ouiCherie @OwenJackson73 @pandaprincess9 @Pandora3796 @pathFinder1725 @patientBranch9284 @peachkitty @PerpetuallyKekastrophic @persistentShade5213 @phia7292 @phia7293 @pioneeringSkies8568 @PlumBeechwood7549 @purpleMango7295 @PurplePansies21 @Purplerain00001 @purpleTree4652 @PurpleVelvet @quickwittedOwl8855 @quitahearsyou @Radioguy @Randomguyuk @Rebekahwriter13 @red85 @Rednuc270539 @rheyoflight @richbich @rieeavery1920 @RoboPhantom @Roro36 @RoseJuliet @rosenova1513 @rrrak @ryha3274 @Sadstan869 @Saeraleis @safetysource12 @Sailor57 @SaimaK @sarahR2004 @SavoyTruffle20 @selfloveisthecure88 @SentientiaPoecile @Seri123 @sgtdavis33 @ShareenBirgesBASSCounGDYMH @ShawnMendesGoals @She13 @ShineWithin @shugha14 @Siciturastra @Silver0824 @sincereFarm2814 @Skybar @skyfallingrain @Skywalker2002 @Skyy0 @sociableOcean9153 @Softheart01 @Solivagant2609 @somewhathappy @SophieKate547 @SparklingSnowflake15 @Spiritseaker @SpreadPeaceandlove @SpringWaltz @SquishySquid01 @StardustLetters @starplucker123 @Stephen @stephi0504 @strawberrywillow @Sugarcoat3 @SugareeIsMe091121 @Summershy @sunnyApricot6027 @SupportiveMonkey46 @sweetcake0707 @sweetlife101 @SylvestreX @Tahja07 @Tazzie @thegirlnatureforgot625 @TheMcManager @TheMushroomMan1216 @thisllpass @thisthenewme @Tiger222 @TranquilSkye @TravellingPrincess @tryingmybest7 @unassumingHuman4669 @understandingWater785 @Uniquesmiley @urbanwave @vallllllllllllll @w305 @warmheartedPlace7925 @Warrior2684 @Waves4 @Webehejdjfj @weirdbook @Wildarkberry @WinglessYetFlying @Wittie96 @WriterOfTheNight @WunderfrogWeirdo @xandia @XanFransisco @Xerah @YankeeOrangetiger @SpiritTea @Grammy23 @quietlistener2023 @HopefulOne81 @modestRaspberries7557 @BeautifullyLostxo @batgirl1234

Cheated on

by bubblePrune3228

Wednesday

Heartbreak (both still in love)

by disciplinedCherry253

Sunday

break up? or will i regret it?

by calycocat

November 20th

...See more hi all, i've essentially been emotionally tormenting myself over this decision and really need some help im 20, in my junior year of college and i've been dating my boyfriend (also 20) for three years (we met in high school). to put it simply, things are good. he's a perfectly nice boy and has seriously been my safety net during some of my darkest moments. that being said, i feel like im losing feelings for a number of reasons that have sort of piled on top of each other. for starters, i've sort of realized that we have basically nothing in common. im really into nerdy *** like anime, cosplay, kpop, etc etc. he doesnt mind that i like these things but he doesnt enjoy them and doesnt make much of an effort to enjoy them with me. hes more into videogames like rocket league and r6 siege, which i have tried out but cant get into. we just dont ever seem to have anything to go do together, as he prefers to stay in and is the anxious, introverted type. i usually am the one taking the lead and i dont really prefer to be in that position. but i have made it work because i love/loved him. he does do things for me, small things on the daily like picking up takeout for me, grabbing a treat on the way home, which i appreciate so much- but i wish there was more romance involved. once again, i feel like i always end up falling in the decision making role. i dont want to have to be the one to plan dates ALL the time. ive voiced this, wanting to go on dates, dress up, etc, but things have more or less remained the same in my eyes. even with things like political ideas, hes very wishy washy and doesnt care much about social issues. not that he opposes my views, but hes just indifferent. i sort of have to push him to want to vote or care about anything in that realm more importantly, we dont have similar goals. i really want to travel- i would love to move out of the US some day, if possible, and he really wants to stay put. i wouldnt even consider myself the adventurous type, but i just feel like hes very content with a very simple life, and im not so much. i gave up a better university to be close to him, and i really hate it. by no means is he unintelligent, we have different strengths and weaknesses, but i tend to do better in academics. i like to read, i enjoy creative writing. he doesnt. i think that this puts us on different wavelengths a lot of the time. sometimes i just want someone that i can discuss a book with, you know? i hate to word it like this, but i feel like im settling at such a young age and maybe im holding myself back? but then on the other hand, am i really the type to leave a perfectly good boyfriend just to 'find myself' or 'adventure?' i just dont know. i definitely LOVE him, i want the best for him, ive never been closer to anyone- but it doesnt feel like im IN love anymore, and i wonder about my happiness in the long run if i have to keep making sacrifices and settling. ive been in two serious relationships almost back to back, 2 years and 3 years respectively. so the last time i was really single was when i was like 14, and i think that may be part of my restlessness. but what makes this so incredibly hard for me is that he loves me so so much. i was his first girlfriend and he truly has eyes for no one else; wants to get married and everything. he's always there and i know i can count on him. he truly hasnt done anything WRONG i just dont know if we are going to be compatible in the long run... but i also know im the only one in the relationship thats thinking this. i just feel like im the worst for feeling this way, like im entitled or deserve more than something thats already good. i dont know. maybe i feel like i owe him for not running from my depressive episodes and mental struggles. the big question is do i end things? i keep telling myself its better to do it early than wait another year and feel really stuck, but i worry about feeling regret. or maybe guilt, moreso. i know im going to be lonely without him- i have a hard time making friends, especially at this university. i depend on him so much but.. would this be a good thing for my independence? maybe it would get me out there. i dont know. i dont want to shatter his heart. i seriously want him to be happy, and i dread having to look im in the eye and tell him these things. i just dont know if i have the strength.

...See more I ended the relationship because he physically hurt me during an argument. Although he once promised to protect me, that promise was broken in the most hurtful way, and I’m struggling to process it. It’s delved into my childhood and caused some wounds to reopen. It was the one thing I asked him not to do - to beat me. He wasn’t just my partner but also my best friend, so the loss feels overwhelming. I keep wanting to reach out, but I’m aware that these patterns of aggression often escalate. Even after he hurt me, he checked in to see if I was okay the next morning, and even immediately tried to console me and cuddle me, but I couldn’t bring myself to reply nor reciprocate. I feel a mix of fear and love. He admitted he didn’t recognise himself and agreed to let me go, yet said he’d always love me and couldn’t imagine himself with someone else. I’m torn because I used to see him as having such a good heart, but in hindsight, I notice signs of narcissism. He controlled so many aspects of my life—what I wore, where I went, and insisted I come home straight after work and then stay at home. He constantly needed to know where I am and would call me randomly to check where I am. I barely went out and when I did, it was awful I couldn’t even enjoy myself, I was made to feel guilty. The early days of our relationship were so beautiful and I don’t understand how I’m here now and how we’re the same people at this point. He said he’s never hit a woman before and I just don’t understand why he hit me over something so small. Even regarding intimacy, he didn’t care if he hurt me because he believed he owned me and could do whatever he wants so I beared it. I have lost so much weight in the relationship and I’ve become suicidal with heavy anxiety. I’ve entirely lost myself. I don’t feel happy anymore. I don’t feel like life is for me. I feel like if he can do this to me, anyone can. I don’t remember what a relationship should feel like and I can’t remember what normal is anymore. Looking back, I feel ashamed. I compromised so much of myself to please him, receiving only the bare minimum in return. Communication was poor; he often stonewalled and gaslit me, but I stayed, hoping we’d return to those “good old days.” His love became increasingly controlling and obsessive and absent, and I found myself trapped and needy, unable to walk away. I hate myself, I still want to check on him, but I know reaching out isn’t safe. I feel betrayed, as though I didn’t see this coming. It’s hard to find the strength to move forward, and the pain feels unbearable. No one knows anything and I feel alone again. Sorry guys - I know this is a heavy one :(

RECENT BREAKUP

by lillorenzo23

October 26th

...See more Recently had a 4.5 year relationship end. This is the second serious relationship I've had, and I'm 34. From some reading I've done, apparently there's power in community so I figured I'd give this forum thing a shot. So here we go... I'm a gay male, and I met my ex on Tinder in 2017. At the time, I had been single from my previous 2 year relationship for about a year. In the meantime, I was casually dating until he came along. We took things slow, and became good friends first before anything sexual or seriously talking about dating. What my partner didn't know (and tbh, what I didn't know at the time because denial is a b*tch) was that I struggled with sex addiction for quite some time. I had some childhood sexual trauma that I'd blocked out and never addressed. After 6 months of being "official", I cheated. I didn't just cheat, but I did what typical addicts do. I covered my tracks, lied, manipulated. I'm not proud of it, but full transparency is what's needed here. A few months after the cheating, somebody reached out to him anonymously and let him know what happened. He addressed it, and at first I denied. We broke up, and I hit the mirror about as hard as anybody ever has. I wasn't sure why I jacked up a great relationship with a good guy. I never thought I'd be that type of person. That landed me in therapy and 12 step programs, trying to get a grip on what was wrong that caused me to make such poor choices. After a few months of being broken up, we started talking again. He saw the work I was putting in, and we had honest conversations where I disclosed everything that I'd experienced before him, and while we were together. It took a few weeks for him to sort it all out, but he agreed to support me and take things slow. We began dating again, but the resentment, anger, and everything that comes along with infidelity was too much. We had a series of breakups, that never usually lasted more than a week or two. He wanted it to work, as did I, so we agreed to couples therapy. We started seeing a therapist that we went to for a few months, but when we got to the point in which the therapist talked about forgiving, letting go of the past mistakes, and trust being a choice after infidelity, he decided he didn't want to go anymore. The resentment was still very present, and basically my every move was questioned. I had to let go of friends, and the relationship started to become very controlling. He would tell me he doesn't want to control me, yet if anything happened such as me being at work an extra 10 minutes because my job is pretty demanding, he would question me to the ends of the earth and not believe a word I said. This continued until a mutual friend suggested a good therapist that helped her relationship with similar issues. We agreed to go, and both REALLY liked this therapist. She gave solid advice, with no judgement, and she listened. The resentment started to subside more than it had in the past, but we still had our moments. I was still unable to talk to or see certain friends. I had to let him know if I even thought I'd be late getting off of work. I still felt like I was "walking on eggshells". Then, came the time for the same advice. "In some capacity, trust needs to be a choice. We can't continue to hold mistakes made years ago over somebody's head." He agreed that his ruminations on the past relationship trauma was what was holding our relationship back, and he decided to seek his own therapist on his own. For the most part, the relationship started to progress into a more healthy state. Then, we got into an argument over something trivial and he decided that being together wasn't possible. We spent two weeks apart, and I thought that allowing space would give the opportunity for reconciliation. When we met back up, he was firm in his stance. We live together, and actually just bought a house (all in my name, but together, on the same street as our apartment). I did the usual bargaining that people do when a relationship is ending. Trying to get him to see the positives, ect. Two more weeks go by, and he decided to send me an email since I had his number blocked, and it peaked my curiosity on reconciliation, so I went to talk to him in person. He made me dinner, we talked and watched a movie together. Nothing sexual happened, but he talked about being in love with me, and how people have been telling him we have something special so he wants it to work. He talked about going back to the couples therapist he gave up on and how he realizes that his resentments are what's killing the relationship at this point. I left with hope, only to have a conversation two days later where he told me the other night was a mistake, and we need to heal on our own for whatever partners we meet next's sake. I felt the crushing pain all over again. I know I made my mistakes, and people don't usually favor "cheaters", but I put in so much effort to try and repair the damage I did in the past. During the course of our relationship, in trying to repair the damage I've been controlled, called names, been made to feel less-than, had frustrations taken out on, and basically was manipulated into thinking I'm a terrible person. All of this, and a complete cluster...yet I still miss the hell out of him. Every day is a struggle, and I cannot WAIT to fully heal. I'm in "no contact", and I've accepted that I need to move on, however the process and going through the motions sucks.

I am having a REALLY hard time

by BeingBestForMyKids

need advice for break up

by nomboomboom

September 28th

Advice for getting through a mutual and amicable break up where no one was really in the wrong

by NothingLastsForever66

September 25th

He said he will not forgive me and its unfair for me

by LostInGame

September 25th

...See more Hi, I'm married, and stumbled upon an online game. I feel like there is something is missing in our marriage or my husband was always busy and away that's why I tried looking for games to pass my time. I found this interactive game where you can marry other players and have heirs. I started in January this year. In this game, you can find a player to troth and you can divorce them too. So I had 3 failed troths already. I cant help but be immersed in this game and get attached to my troths. Long story short, I have found a friend in this game who I always talk to and share things with about my failed troths. I found out that he fell for me and I told him I have feelings for him too and soon after I asked him to become my troth. Everything was going well and happy until he suddenly went MIA for 2 weeks without saying anything to me. I waited for him to go online every day. Each day was unbearable because I feel like he abandoned me but I kept waiting. I tried chatting with other players to pass my time while I wait for him. I asked them about daily things, stuff about the game and how Im missing my troth so much and Im waiting for him to come back. After 2 weeks my troth went online, I was so happy but it was short lived because after a day, some malicious person sent DM to my troth telling him that I was chatting with players, telling them I am lonely and alone, forcing them to troth me and telling them that I miss them so much and all sorts of other lies. I told my troth its true I chatted with other players to pass my time while I wait for him, but I never told them I miss them and forcing them to troth me. Everyone in the servers we played with knows how I love my troth and that I am waiting for him always. Anyway, sadly my troth didn't believe me and wants to end things with me. I love this person so much, since January until now he was my support person, my best friend and confidant. We have shared so many moments together but with my 1 mistake of entertaining other players by chatting with them, everything is just falling apart. I tried begging him not to leave and break up with me. he said he loves me but the pain keeps haunting him and he just wants it to stop. I know this isnt the real world, its just a game but I already invested time and feelings. I know I should focus on my real life but I dont know how to move on from this.

Relationship Stress

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Ask questions, get support and make friends

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Online Therapy

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Talk to an expert therapist

Finding a therapist can be difficult at times. I’m glad you’ve made the...

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@reliableSquare6985

@lotspots

@bloom006

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