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Relationship Stress Community: Check-In (Sep 30 - Oct 6)
by KatePersephone
Last post
 Tuesday
...See more Hello there, Relationship Stress Community! Today is the last day of September, and we’re finally getting into October! To start off this week… * How are you feeling today?  * What’s the best Disney movie and why?  * If you played video games growing up, what do you think they taught you? Excited to hear from all of you! Have a great week ahead <3 ------------------------- Are you new to the Relationship Stress community? Introduce yourself here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/CommunitySpace_1256/NewtotheRelationshipStressCommunityIntroduceyourselfhere_164924/]! Do you want to be the first to get updates on discussions and events? Consider joining the taglist [https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/CommunitySpace_1256/RelationshipStressAutomatedTaglist_222210/]! Do you want to be updated on the weekly discussions in the Relationship Support Room? Subscribe to this thread [https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/CommunitySpace_1256/RelationshipStressGroupSupportSessionsSchedule_316598/]! Do you want to help out in the Relationship Stress Community? Consider becoming a forum supporter [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSefNgW-Va7dyBx67M3d27INmkndnwm1C3Ywa7NJoFa2EscQkA/viewform] or a room supporter [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSetyJ7jp7W52-EIpqvFYLhfmpsgTW4BbzUwmi9r22OQ9AdH8w/viewform]! ------------------------- tagging the community: @00Nyx00 @1funredhead @4Jasmine @6Dragonflies @aabrah @Aathmika @AbbyHarris1976 @abiior @AbusgaKayatasha @Adarlya @adhdgal1992 @adribrown7 @adventurousPal4301 @Affliction1 @Albatrosinthesky @Allieeee1121 @AlyGalaxy @AmandaRose89 @AMomentInTime1830 @Anexmos @Angelcrossing1986 @AnotherPerson92 @answers @AntenorA @aPeacefulafternoon @AquaNavySky @Arman13 @ashlynnmarie22 @AshtynLuv97 @Asru @Athenathebluejay420 @Auditormadness9 @auntmommy @Avaboo @AveryLove @awkwardRice @azureSky1487 @Bea945 @beanie @BeginningFixing @blueberryjean345 @blueDog2773 @BlueEast @Booklover95 @Bossedupx3 @bouncyVoice4149 @braveGlobe2817 @bravePeach4448 @breeuniqemsns @Breevus @brightOcean2387 @BrooklynM @Bubbles120 @bubblyFaith17 @bunnyhugs616 @Busranurr @BwahahaLove @c9frexs @caitlin1217 @Callies07132017 @CalmingStar @Calmpineapple @caringCreature8571 @CaringCharlie @CarrieHolmes @Cexe @charmingbeauty55 @ChrisA97 @Chrisbgood46 @Clarisse29 @Colourfultiger @ComingOutAsNB @CompassionateYoshi88 @confidentVision4766 @conscientiousPineapple1782 @ConversationThot404 @Cparsons816 @CraigyP @crazycountry210 @creativeComputer2115 @DanaMH @dancersoul @dancingLake682 @DanielaC @DanielGarzaV @daydreammemories @decisiveScarf8956 @Den2542 @discreetShip7372 @DogFish1 @doodlefroggie @dopey @EchoTheDragon @electricLily13 @ella12346 @ELLE @Emirson2018 @EncouragingSteps @enthusiasticTortoise6681 @eohseo @Everythingisbetterinyourpyjamas @EvolvedScorpio @Explorer6115 @exuberantStrawberries9544 @faithfulHickory1025 @Falkenberg @fantasticDancer50 @Feepersane @Floatingbubbles @fluffycow27 @forcefulFriend4768 @Foreverchangedbyyou @Francescahelps @FranklyMaple @Freshmelon54 @Friendlycomfort81 @frostedPudding @Gabrielamtineo @generousWriter2778 @glasseyedgrace @GodsBabyGirl1981 @goldenFlower74 @gracefulVoice9463 @grassup @Gtalker8845 @GusteeMoon123 @gymnast9460 @Hailey3 @hairyxsnail @HarmonyBlossom @Hashib22 @HealingBrokenWIngs @healingHeart1111 @healinghearts0718 @Healingwhispers14 @Heartofgold07092019 @heavenlyHug9328 @helloapple1885 @helloCity5743 @hereforyoualways123 @heysunshine12 @hippiewannabe @honestWater4345 @honeypie720 @Hope3729 @hopefulPower54 @HopefulPower54 @HumorousPear1826 @iDeepScar @ILikeCilantro @imaginativeneverhappening @imofficiallyburnt @IMott71 @imrose123 @independentClementine6064 @infinitivethoughts2k19 @ingeniousfriend59 @intuitiveSummer6764 @JamilaBrownPsyD @Janet33 @JellyBean299 @jerom222 @joiefae @jwong611 @k87 @Kailah15 @kasmin21 @Katee02 @Katheryn @KatLis123 @Katrine92 @Kentsch @ketket68 @Kevin2009 @kindJoy3316 @kindLemon2749 @kizzyaaliyah @Kpopcat2020 @LadyDair @LadyInSilence @Lalonso2 @LavenderHere @lavenderOrange4849 @LeafOnABranch @LeoisListening @LePapillon @Lexloveslife @lightDrum8955 @lightLemonIsaac5408 @LightSoul108 @limeVillage7000 @Liv143 @Lovelylady18 @Lunasel @Lunaticphilosopher @luvkyleigh @lyricalPillow74 @lyricalpillow74 @madels20033 @magicalHorizon48 @mamapants @Mared @MarvelousMack11 @Mavvinder @mbrito712 @Mellietronx @Mellifluous11 @Mia1602 @MidwesternCalmSeeker @MikkyA @MilaAvery @MissDaria18 @MithLycos @modestPine7046 @Morpheus13 @MotherOfAVirgo @Mountainmystic777 @Mrrytu @MyownkindaCrazzi @nabilah17ism @navyOcean3488 @ngsuling1986 @niceCLEMEMTINE1415 @niceDaisy36 @Ninab0bina123 @ninetaleslove @NityaSpiritualHealer @NotAllHere713 @Offmytrack @onedirection1213 @OneErased @Open2Change @ouiCherie @OwenJackson73 @pandaprincess9 @Pandora3796 @pathFinder1725 @patientBranch9284 @peachkitty @PerpetuallyKekastrophic @persistentShade5213 @phia7292 @phia7293 @pioneeringSkies8568 @PlumBeechwood7549 @purpleMango7295 @PurplePansies21 @Purplerain00001 @purpleTree4652 @PurpleVelvet @quickwittedOwl8855 @quitahearsyou @Radioguy @Randomguyuk @Rebekahwriter13 @red85 @Rednuc270539 @rheyoflight @richbich @rieeavery1920 @RoboPhantom @Roro36 @RoseJuliet @rosenova1513 @rrrak @ryha3274 @Sadstan869 @Saeraleis @safetysource12 @Sailor57 @SaimaK @sarahR2004 @SavoyTruffle20 @selfloveisthecure88 @SentientiaPoecile @Seri123 @sgtdavis33 @ShareenBirgesBASSCounGDYMH @ShawnMendesGoals @She13 @ShineWithin @shugha14 @Siciturastra @Silver0824 @sincereFarm2814 @Skybar @skyfallingrain @Skywalker2002 @Skyy0 @sociableOcean9153 @Softheart01 @Solivagant2609 @somewhathappy @SophieKate547 @SparklingSnowflake15 @Spiritseaker @SpreadPeaceandlove @SpringWaltz @SquishySquid01 @StardustLetters @starplucker123 @Stephen @stephi0504 @strawberrywillow @Sugarcoat3 @SugareeIsMe091121 @Summershy @sunnyApricot6027 @SupportiveMonkey46 @sweetcake0707 @sweetlife101 @SylvestreX @Tahja07 @Tazzie @thegirlnatureforgot625 @TheMcManager @TheMushroomMan1216 @thisllpass @thisthenewme @Tiger222 @TranquilSkye @TravellingPrincess @tryingmybest7 @unassumingHuman4669 @understandingWater785 @Uniquesmiley @urbanwave @vallllllllllllll @w305 @warmheartedPlace7925 @Warrior2684 @Waves4 @Webehejdjfj @weirdbook @Wildarkberry @WinglessYetFlying @Wittie96 @WriterOfTheNight @WunderfrogWeirdo @xandia @XanFransisco @Xerah @YankeeOrangetiger @SpiritTea @Grammy23 @quietlistener2023 @HopefulOne81
Group Support Feedback for the Relationship Stress Community ✨💓
by KatePersephone
Last post
 Monday
...See more Hello community! This forum thread has been created for the purpose of sharing the feedback our amazing hosts have received for the discussions they have hosted!
The Role of Effective Communication in Resolving Relationship Conflicts
by KatePersephone
Last post
 Sunday
...See more The most important thing in relationship conflict resolution is communication. Open, honest, and respectful communication will allow the couple to provide a secure atmosphere to express feelings, problems, and issues. In turn, both parties understand their partner better, leading to the formation of an avenue for empathy and respect. If they listen keenly and acknowledge each other's feelings, they will look at the roots of their conflicts and find a solution to them together. Effective communication, moreover, helps in avoiding misunderstandings that might snowball into bigger issues. It also creates an emotional bond between the couple as they build a strategy for overcoming hurdles together. Lastly, a couple who focuses on clear and kind communication is more capable of dealing with those problems and forming trust for a much stronger and more satisfying relationship. So, what are some ways to establish effective communication in our relationships? Active Listening: Focusing your full attention on your partner during the conversation, avoiding interruptions, and using verbal and non-verbal cues to show that you understand.  Use "I" Statements: Expressing your feelings and needs without placing blame on your partner. Instead of saying, "You always do this," saying, "I feel hurt when..."  Body Language: Remembering that your non-verbal communication can convey more than words. This includes your tone of voice and facial expressions.  Choose the Right Time and Place: Having important discussions when both of you are calm and in a peaceful environment.  Empathy: Approaching the conversation with understanding, considering your partner's perspective. Even if you disagree, trying to see the situation from their point of view can promote mutual respect and understanding.  Honesty and Transparency: Sharing your thoughts and opinions openly, while being mindful of your partner's feelings.  Avoid Assumptions: Seeking clarification when needed and refraining from assuming what your partner is thinking or feeling.  Reflective Listening: Paraphrasing what your partner has said to ensure clarity and demonstrating your engagement in the conversation. Questions to reflect upon: Reflect on a recent disagreement in your relationship where communication failed. How might this situation have been different if you and your partner had listened actively? Specify particular strategies you could have used to improve mutual understanding. Now, imagine you helping a friend who has trouble communicating his or her feelings when having arguments with his or her romantic partner. What three communication techniques or tools would you recommend to help him or her clearly articulate these feelings to their partner, and why do you think these methods would work especially well to resolve an issue within their relationship? Further reading: https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/relationships-and-communication https://healingcollectivetherapy.com/en/resources/power-of-communication-in-a-relationship https://www.verywellmind.com/communication-in-relationships-why-it-matters-and-how-to-improve-5218269 [https://www.verywellmind.com/communication-in-relationships-why-it-matters-and-how-to-improve-5218269] ------------------------- Are you new to the Relationship Stress community? Introduce yourself here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/CommunitySpace_1256/NewtotheRelationshipStressCommunityIntroduceyourselfhere_164924/]! Do you want to be the first to get updates on discussions and events? Consider joining the taglist [https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/CommunitySpace_1256/RelationshipStressAutomatedTaglist_222210/]! Do you want to be updated on the weekly discussions in the Relationship Support Room? Subscribe to this thread [https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/CommunitySpace_1256/RelationshipStressGroupSupportSessionsSchedule_316598/]! Do you want to help out in the Relationship Stress Community? Consider becoming a forum supporter [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSefNgW-Va7dyBx67M3d27INmkndnwm1C3Ywa7NJoFa2EscQkA/viewform] or a room supporter [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSetyJ7jp7W52-EIpqvFYLhfmpsgTW4BbzUwmi9r22OQ9AdH8w/viewform]! ------------------------- tagging the community: @00Nyx00 @1funredhead @4Jasmine @6Dragonflies @aabrah @Aathmika @AbbyHarris1976 @abiior @AbusgaKayatasha @Adarlya @adhdgal1992 @adribrown7 @adventurousPal4301 @Affliction1 @Albatrosinthesky @Allieeee1121 @AlyGalaxy @AmandaRose89 @AMomentInTime1830 @Anexmos @Angelcrossing1986 @AnotherPerson92 @answers @AntenorA @aPeacefulafternoon @AquaNavySky @Arman13 @ashlynnmarie22 @AshtynLuv97 @Asru @Athenathebluejay420 @Auditormadness9 @auntmommy @Avaboo @AveryLove @awkwardRice @azureSky1487 @Bea945 @beanie @BeginningFixing @blueberryjean345 @blueDog2773 @BlueEast @Booklover95 @Bossedupx3 @bouncyVoice4149 @braveGlobe2817 @bravePeach4448 @breeuniqemsns @Breevus @brightOcean2387 @BrooklynM @Bubbles120 @bubblyFaith17 @bunnyhugs616 @Busranurr @BwahahaLove @c9frexs @caitlin1217 @Callies07132017 @CalmingStar @Calmpineapple @caringCreature8571 @CaringCharlie @CarrieHolmes @Cexe @charmingbeauty55 @ChrisA97 @Chrisbgood46 @Clarisse29 @Colourfultiger @ComingOutAsNB @CompassionateYoshi88 @confidentVision4766 @conscientiousPineapple1782 @ConversationThot404 @Cparsons816 @CraigyP @crazycountry210 @creativeComputer2115 @DanaMH @dancersoul @dancingLake682 @DanielaC @DanielGarzaV @daydreammemories @decisiveScarf8956 @Den2542 @discreetShip7372 @DogFish1 @doodlefroggie @dopey @EchoTheDragon @electricLily13 @ella12346 @ELLE @Emirson2018 @EncouragingSteps @enthusiasticTortoise6681 @eohseo @Everythingisbetterinyourpyjamas @EvolvedScorpio @Explorer6115 @exuberantStrawberries9544 @faithfulHickory1025 @Falkenberg @fantasticDancer50 @Feepersane @Floatingbubbles @fluffycow27 @forcefulFriend4768 @Foreverchangedbyyou @Francescahelps @FranklyMaple @Freshmelon54 @Friendlycomfort81 @frostedPudding @Gabrielamtineo @generousWriter2778 @glasseyedgrace @GodsBabyGirl1981 @goldenFlower74 @gracefulVoice9463 @grassup @Gtalker8845 @GusteeMoon123 @gymnast9460 @Hailey3 @hairyxsnail @HarmonyBlossom @Hashib22 @HealingBrokenWIngs @healingHeart1111 @healinghearts0718 @Healingwhispers14 @Heartofgold07092019 @heavenlyHug9328 @helloapple1885 @helloCity5743 @hereforyoualways123 @heysunshine12 @hippiewannabe @honestWater4345 @honeypie720 @Hope3729 @hopefulPower54 @HopefulPower54 @HumorousPear1826 @iDeepScar @ILikeCilantro @imaginativeneverhappening @imofficiallyburnt @IMott71 @imrose123 @independentClementine6064 @infinitivethoughts2k19 @ingeniousfriend59 @intuitiveSummer6764 @JamilaBrownPsyD @Janet33 @JellyBean299 @jerom222 @joiefae @jwong611 @k87 @Kailah15 @kasmin21 @Katee02 @Katheryn @KatLis123 @Katrine92 @Kentsch @ketket68 @Kevin2009 @kindJoy3316 @kindLemon2749 @kizzyaaliyah @Kpopcat2020 @LadyDair @LadyInSilence @Lalonso2 @LavenderHere @lavenderOrange4849 @LeafOnABranch @LeoisListening @LePapillon @Lexloveslife @lightDrum8955 @lightLemonIsaac5408 @LightSoul108 @limeVillage7000 @Liv143 @Lovelylady18 @Lunasel @Lunaticphilosopher @luvkyleigh @lyricalPillow74 @lyricalpillow74 @madels20033 @magicalHorizon48 @mamapants @Mared @MarvelousMack11 @Mavvinder @mbrito712 @Mellietronx @Mellifluous11 @Mia1602 @MidwesternCalmSeeker @MikkyA @MilaAvery @MissDaria18 @MithLycos @modestPine7046 @Morpheus13 @MotherOfAVirgo @Mountainmystic777 @Mrrytu @MyownkindaCrazzi @nabilah17ism @navyOcean3488 @ngsuling1986 @niceCLEMEMTINE1415 @niceDaisy36 @Ninab0bina123 @ninetaleslove @NityaSpiritualHealer @NotAllHere713 @Offmytrack @onedirection1213 @OneErased @Open2Change @ouiCherie @OwenJackson73 @pandaprincess9 @Pandora3796 @pathFinder1725 @patientBranch9284 @peachkitty @PerpetuallyKekastrophic @persistentShade5213 @phia7292 @phia7293 @pioneeringSkies8568 @PlumBeechwood7549 @purpleMango7295 @PurplePansies21 @Purplerain00001 @purpleTree4652 @PurpleVelvet @quickwittedOwl8855 @quitahearsyou @Radioguy @Randomguyuk @Rebekahwriter13 @red85 @Rednuc270539 @rheyoflight @richbich @rieeavery1920 @RoboPhantom @Roro36 @RoseJuliet @rosenova1513 @rrrak @ryha3274 @Sadstan869 @Saeraleis @safetysource12 @Sailor57 @SaimaK @sarahR2004 @SavoyTruffle20 @selfloveisthecure88 @SentientiaPoecile @Seri123 @sgtdavis33 @ShareenBirgesBASSCounGDYMH @ShawnMendesGoals @She13 @ShineWithin @shugha14 @Siciturastra @Silver0824 @sincereFarm2814 @Skybar @skyfallingrain @Skywalker2002 @Skyy0 @sociableOcean9153 @Softheart01 @Solivagant2609 @somewhathappy @SophieKate547 @SparklingSnowflake15 @Spiritseaker @SpreadPeaceandlove @SpringWaltz @SquishySquid01 @StardustLetters @starplucker123 @Stephen @stephi0504 @strawberrywillow @Sugarcoat3 @SugareeIsMe091121 @Summershy @sunnyApricot6027 @SupportiveMonkey46 @sweetcake0707 @sweetlife101 @SylvestreX @Tahja07 @Tazzie @thegirlnatureforgot625 @TheMcManager @TheMushroomMan1216 @thisllpass @thisthenewme @Tiger222 @TranquilSkye @TravellingPrincess @tryingmybest7 @unassumingHuman4669 @understandingWater785 @Uniquesmiley @urbanwave @vallllllllllllll @w305 @warmheartedPlace7925 @Warrior2684 @Waves4 @Webehejdjfj @weirdbook @Wildarkberry @WinglessYetFlying @Wittie96 @WriterOfTheNight @WunderfrogWeirdo @xandia @XanFransisco @Xerah @YankeeOrangetiger @SpiritTea @Grammy23 @quietlistener20
need advice for break up
by nomboomboom
Last post
 Saturday
...See more I recently got broken up by my boyfriend of 7 months. I am currently trying to move on, but every day I would feel a sense of loneliness and sadness when I get home. I do not know what to do now, so any advice would help. Thank you! For some context, we have been long-distance for a month and he came back for a few days before he broke up with me. 
Advice for getting through a mutual and amicable break up where no one was really in the wrong
by NothingLastsForever66
Last post
 September 25th
...See more Hi all, I am going through the hardest break up of my life. I have nothing bad to say about my now ex and we both tried so hard to make it work. It was a case of two well-intentioned, good-hearted people that wanted to be together more than anything, that still ending up hurting each other. We just weren’t the best fit and small things added to making each other unhappy. I am entrenched in guilt and disappointment and frustration and heartbrokenness over how this was turned out despite so much effort on both sides. I am especially blaming myself because I remember all the unhealthy and toxic ways I dealt with my insecurities and upset in the relationship. Despite the fact that I turned it all around before the end, I blame myself and tell myself I brought us to this demise. I am in great need of advice from all others out there that have been in these similar shoes who could shed some light on how I could possibly move forward? Thank you everyone.
He said he will not forgive me and its unfair for me
by LostInGame
Last post
 September 25th
...See more Hi, I'm married, and stumbled upon an online game. I feel like there is something is missing in our marriage or my husband was always busy and away that's why I tried looking for games to pass my time. I found this interactive game where you can marry other players and have heirs. I started in January this year. In this game, you can find a player to troth and you can divorce them too. So I had 3 failed troths already. I cant help but be immersed in this game and get attached to my troths. Long story short, I have found a friend in this game who I always talk to and share things with about my failed troths. I found out that he fell for me and I told him I have feelings for him too and soon after I asked him to become my troth. Everything was going well and happy until he suddenly went MIA for 2 weeks without saying anything to me. I waited for him to go online every day. Each day was unbearable because I feel like he abandoned me but I kept waiting. I tried chatting with other players to pass my time while I wait for him. I asked them about daily things, stuff about the game and how Im missing my troth so much and Im waiting for him to come back. After 2 weeks  my troth went online, I was so happy but it was short lived because after a day, some malicious person sent DM to my troth telling him that I was chatting with players, telling them I am lonely and alone, forcing them to troth me and telling them that I miss them so much and all sorts of other lies. I told my troth its true I chatted with other players to pass my time while I wait for him, but I never told them I miss them and forcing them to troth me. Everyone in the servers we played with knows how I love my troth and that I am waiting for him always. Anyway, sadly my troth didn't believe me and wants to end things with me. I love this person so much, since January until now he was my support person, my best friend and confidant. We have shared so many moments together but with my 1 mistake of entertaining other players by chatting with them, everything is just falling apart. I tried begging him not to leave and break up with me. he said he loves me but the pain keeps haunting him and he just wants it to stop. I know this isnt the real world, its just a game but I already invested time and feelings. I know I should focus on my real life but I dont know how to move on from this.
He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not
by Japanlover56
Last post
 September 24th
...See more ( I am 23F. My husband and I are both AD military) About a year ago, I woke up to my boyfriend (my now husband) sexually assaulting me. He was touching me in my sleep. I confronted him about it the next day and was very aggravated. I told him that what he did was absolutely unacceptable. He justified this by saying that I was his girlfriend, so he should be able to do things like that without me getting upset. I never brought it up again after that day, and I don't *think* it has happened since then. Fast forward to about March of this year. We got married in January. Our finances are separate. I found out that he had barely anything in his savings account, which concerned me, being his wife. I try to figure out where all of his money is going, and I find out in March that, for the entirety of our relationship, my husband has kept a secret porn addiction from me. He had been subscribing to females on OnlyFans, spending about $100 a month (a considerable amount of money in my opinion). This absolutely broke me. While we had talked about free porn sites (like Pornhub) being okay in our relationship when we were dating, we never discussed OnlyFans. In my opinion, this is a completely different ballpark to me. He was paying specific women of his choosing to see them naked and to interact with them, which is a deeper connection to me than just watching a free video.  I confronted him about it, and I cried. Like a lot. He was embarrassed that I found out and felt guilty and almost cried as well. He told me that he had never told anyone this before, but he expressed that he has had a porn addiction for a long time. We had this sit-down heart-to-heart, and things were good for a while. But my brain keeps going back to it, and thinking that if he lied about this one thing, surely there is more he is lying to me about... I brought up my emotions to him another time, saying how, in my opinion, he cheated on me and I felt like we moved on pretty quickly from that conversation. He became irritated I brought it up again and told me to go to therapy because he didn't know how to help me "get over it". I'm at the end of my rope... I still hold love for him, but I do not think I deserve the treatment he has put me through. It genuinely has contributed to depression, I believe. I have thought about divorce, but we have only been married for 7 months. I feel like I will look like a failure to my friends, family, and God. I am a Christian, and I feel that God will be angry with me if I divorce my husband. I also hate the idea of having to start all over... which I know is not a good enough reason to stay with him. However, I also think about how, down the road, I may regret not divorcing him (like, the behavior may come back later and I already have signs showing that he will do these things). Right now, it is just him and I and our two dogs. We don't own a house, we don't have kids, and our finances have always been separate. I really need advice, because all of this haunts me on a daily basis. Thank you for reading :) <3
Heartbreak
by Endlessummer03
Last post
 September 23rd
...See more I broke up with my long term boyfriend about 4 months ago. There were many things about him I wish were different. I let him know when I was unhappy yet he didn’t seem to care so I left. Fast forward, the break up was very hard and emotional for me. It was one of the hardest decisions of my life because we did have so many good memories together, but I couldn’t stand to be treated like that any longer. fast forward, he was messaging daily or at least a few times a week about changes he was making, he was going to therapy regularly, got medication for depression and ptsd, and said he was doing all the things I had complaints about. (Strengthening the relationship with his son, managing his anger, drinking less, saving money, taking care of his house and cooking, and etc). he said he was working on all of this so he could be a better man for me. i moved states when I left him, but he found an opportunity near me and is supposed to be moving here in 3 weeks and has been non stop talking about how he wants to be the perfect man for me, marry me, hasn’t looked at any one else this whole time and only cares for me, etc. well, yesterday I asked my friend who still lives near him to confirm if she has seen him with anyone to verify his story. She let me know he has been in a relationship with the same girl for about 3 months now. She sees them at the gym and at our weekend hang out spot. She showed me the girl’s posts about him, she said she has found the “love of her life” “her person” “there is no one else I’d rather wake up to or go to sleep with at night” and how she is so lucky to have him and all that mushy bull crap. i am completely shell shocked. He really had me beleiving that he was changing, working on his mental health and wanted to be with me. I was starting to fall for him and all the flattery he was throwing my way. i can’t believe how stupid I am for trusting him and beleiving him. The fact he can be in a relationship so soon after I dumped him, he can blatantly lie to me on daily FaceTime/phone calls/ texts and etc?? i am shocked, heart broken, completely sick to my stomach. I couldn’t sleep last night. I can’t focus on work. I need help.
Running out of time
by NotAllHere713
Last post
 September 21st
...See more Hello. For those of you who are divorced, what was the first thing you did to prepare?  I have been married for 24 years and all my kids are over the age of 18. My husband is an alcoholic and he's getting worse. I'm surprised that they don't suspect him at work. I live in dread every time he drives- will he get arrested?, will he hit someone? The kids stay far away from him and he has no idea what is going on in their lives. He is also mentally and verbally abusive towards me. I have major depression and anxiety. I am on medications, but it has been pointed out to me that the meds won't work if the situation that I experience at home changes. The only way I can see it changing is to get a divorce. However there are complications. I promised to love him through sickness and in health, but I can't get better around him. For the last month, I've been feeling a sense of doom, like time is running out. Something is going to break soon. And it is causing me huge amounts of stress. If I choose to divorce him, what do I need to do? What do I need to prepare? Please help me. 
Navigating breakups and the journey after
by StargirlTina
Last post
 September 19th
...See more Letter to everyone Hello everyone, Tina here! I recently got out of a serious 2 year relationship a month ago and have been navigating my life ever since. It got toxic and was difficult to realise that in the situation. We get so used to being with a person that the pain and chaos we feel after the separation is almost close to losing a very important friendship and sometimes comes in waves like grief. That's completely alright! My intention of writing this post is to motivate all others who are stressed out and confused and trying to figure things out. The movie "Someone Great" really talks about this topic and helped put things in perspective for me personally. That being said, spend time with your friends, people around you and family if you can. Take your time you kind soul! Give time to your hobbies, and for yourself to process all these emotions.. You didn't deserve any of the bad things that happened to you and I send you soo much love and strength to help you on your beautiful journey of life.. I am here for you if you want to talk about anything at all, even if not related to this topic! There are people, so many people who care about you and love you (Most definitely including me!🧡🌻🦋)  I love you for being so strong and brave and for trying to figure out things for yourself, no mater what you are going through. I know it's difficult and daunting, and it may feel like you wanna shut yourself off in moments.. It takes a lot of courage, so take a moment to just be proud of yourself for how far you've come and how far you can go! Life is a beautiful journey and we have wonderful opportunities, all of us, to grow from adversities, learn our lessons, heal and become better versions of ourselves while being here for each other.. I am so glad you're here, it sometimes may not feel like you're doing enough, but you are! I promise you time will heal everything. And if you have breakdowns, that's completely okay: It is okay to not be okay sometimes. Just remember to smile once you've cried or thought about things, because you're a beautiful and awesome person and you got thisss.. To all of you reading this and whoever needs to hear this: It is not your fault. I repeat. It..is..Not..your..fault! Wishing healing for all of us and for us to eventually love and accept ourselves as we are~ Have a great day/night and keep being yourself!  With love,  Tina🧡
Hard to take
by LadyBeListening
Last post
 September 15th
...See more I feel for us all. Im still at a loss for words at what my husband of 23 years has done to me. He ran me out of our home 2 months later is got my old best friend living with him. and he is just so cold
Divorcing
by intuitiveBeach1647
Last post
 August 30th
...See more Male 51, married 24 years, wife cheated for a few years, tried to reconcile after finding out, she has left to be with AP. I'm devastated, depressed, anxiety, hartbroken
Post Breakup
by sensitiveSuare637
Last post
 August 27th
...See more Hey! It's my first time writing and why I am writing this? not sure, but I guess I just to let out the thoughts I am feeling right now and maybe I can help someone in some way.  How am I doing after my breakup? It's a mixture. Sometimes I feel free,  but her memories hold me back. Sometimes I am so involved in my work, but as soon as I am free, waves of memories with force come at me. I am trying to take it slow but god it's hard. The relationship ended, let's say in a very aggressive manner. The relationship was toxic, at least for me. I know how the fights with her affected my whole day. We dated for about 6-7 months, most of which were just fights. It was my first, and god I am so into her, that I forgot myself. I was so attached to her that I completely forgot myself, my respect, my peace, my space. But this ending was long due, I was just trying to hold to a rope. What did I learn? trust your instincts. I always felt that something was wrong, Efforts were not equal and that person was distant. Usually, my thinking was labeled as "overthinking", which I might be doing in some cases. I trusted her words more than mine. But why did I get so attached to her I wonder? What was she giving me that I couldn't let go? Was it peace? no, Was it support? maybe but she made me feel like something is wrong with me so NO. Was she giving me love? not sure or was she just filling the voids of my insecurity? or at least I thought she was. I don't have an answer as to why I was attached to her yet. I reflect on this relationship and I realize how insecure I am. How did I get dependent on someone who was completely destroying me? How I compared myself to her past exes because I was not getting the love they got. I Always BLAMED myself. So clearly I needed to work on things. I know I am more than enough. I loved her and that's my power. But first I need to love myself.  Sometimes I think what if she comes back, my heart wants that, but my brain doesn't. It's a battle with heart and brain. My heart wants to love her again and my brain asks "Why", My brain says" It's the only way I can feel love". My brain replied" Why can't you love and respect yourself just like you loved and respected her?, Heart ".....silence", Brain says " You can't take her back even if she comes back, because people don't change, she didn't wanna change back then why will she change now. You have built and been through so much, your friends have spent so much time helping you, YOU HAVE SPEND SO MUCH TIME ON YOURSELF. You can't go back , for yourself remove the thought so it." My heart says" But what if", my brain interrupted" What if you have more than this, what if your life is more than this, what if there is someone better who actually wants to put efforts on YOU"  I think I have learned that respect is everything. Once you lose respect for yourself, you will find another source. And some go for love, care, and compassion. LOVE YOURSELF. Complete the task you planned to do, you will gain respect for yourself, and show compassion for yourself when you feel negative. Love yourself like you loved that person. Whenever I look back, I don't see her sometimes, I see myself, my eyes filled with love. I want that guy back. I want that kind of love. The good thing is I am that guy, and I can love myself just like that. Treat yourself like a human, give yourself time, learn to love yourself, and improve your relations with others and yourself. THERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO THIS LIFE. 
Struggling post break-up
by shySpring3201
Last post
 August 21st
...See more Hello all! This is my first post so it’ll be long and a bit all over the place. So me and my ex-bf had been dating for a little over a year. It was the kind of relationship where we believed we would end up together. We frequently talked about our house and kids and all that and he even gave me a promise ring. We rarely fought and if so it was resolved quickly. We had so many fantastic memories that just hurt now. Anyway, about a week and a half ago, he came over (seemed normal all day) and said he’s not sure we should do long distance. The thing is that I’m going 4 hours away to college and he’s still in high school. He said that he wouldn’t be able to go 2 weeks without seeing me but that making me come back would hinder my college experience, thus he didn’t want to do that to me. So we ended it. It BROKE me and I’m still struggling. He said if in 3 months I still want him I can show up and he’d take me back in an instant but I feel like he’s lying and idk why. We exchanged I love you’s, had one last hug and cuddled and recounted the relationship. It was painful. I brought back his stuff and we’ve been no contact (this is best for me so that I can detach). I just feel like everything reminds me of him and I’m still struggling. We haven’t blocked each other but we’ve both been respecting no contact. I just feel in my heart that our story isn’t over yet but it’s hurting me to hold on. Any advice is appreciated and I’m welcome to clear anything up.
How to leave
by NotAllHere713
Last post
 August 9th
...See more Hello. For those of you who have gone through a divorce- What was the first step that you took?  I'll be married for 24 years at the end of the month. My husband is an alcoholic. He is currently on his 3rd episode. He's been to rehab twice. I didn't leave earlier because I loved him and for the children. But this year something changed. My depression was getting so bad that I decided to try again to get help. Luckily, now I have a psych that understands me and a therapist that actually cares. Recently, I have been seriously thinking about leaving him. Years of mental and verbal abuse have destroyed my self-esteem and my spirit. The worst thing is that his brain is mush- he blows up and blames me for everything, then the next day he forgets and says he loves me. He still supports me and the kids but I am worried he will be caught drunk (even though he only drinks at home) and lose his job. He is a stranger to me and the kids. In the meantime, my depression is getting worse. I know the situation needs to change so the kids and I can begin to heal. But I don't know how to start. I know that I am not in the financial situation where I can support myself and the kids (who are all over 18). I should be looking for a new job, but my anxiety kicks in hard when I think of updating my resume and rejection. I don't have a support system, so I am reaching out in the hope that someone here can offer some words of wisdom or encouragement. Thank you.

Relationship Stress

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