my doggerel (written while depressed)
Did this one today...
LAMENT, MARCH 2023
Stare at the ceiling as the earth whirls blindly in the dark
as you lay there, ears ringing & head pain, as always
as your head hurts, spreading middle girth
Cold inside, halted, without a spark.
The occasional note as your gut slowly drains
from the meal of bolted flour, cheese, olives,
a manmade ration for the bipedal swine herd
Another day ebbs, another evening gains.
Stare at the ceiling as daily you know
Knowing inescapable: you're past the prime
the bald fact, always without tact,
Faded mirror never fails to show.
Staring upward as the ball hurtles in the black
around the hot bright mindless sun,
your stare as unseeing as the rock itself
a captive in a slowly rotting sack.
Feel free to comment, folks. Whaddaya think? I might post more poems here as the inspiration (for lack of a better word) strikes.
@slowdecline48 Very impressive made me think.
You are talented!
@RogueOne1983 If I made you think, great...I did some good this week.
@slowdecline48 You did.
How is carving that cane coming along?
Another one for you, gentle reader...call it a "mixed prose poem":
DREAM WORLDS
When you're asleep, your core speaks.
Behind closed eyes it rises & shows you
your wants & fears wrought in unseen spheres,
All new yet oddly familiar strange truths...
Such as:
A small rundown-looking club on the side of an asphalt strip from & to nowhere, behind a cyclone fence. There is a generator inside, half-video poker slot machine & half Wurlitzer. You are one of the three on staff. You know how to keep it running.
An apartment of deep brown hardwood paneling, quiet & cozy. A chandelier in the living room, fine china. It is full of people you knew, returned to life, smiling when they see you...but some of them are still old.
Your bedroom, but darker...a clap of wooden boards struck together repeatedly, from everywhere. You don't know why you are there.
A flea market for blocks, an American bazaar at night. Street vendors & open shops with loud characters, & homeless people (yes, even in your dream). Whatever you want, someone there has it for a price.
Strange worlds seen only once
Or maybe again, if you ever recall
Until you wake, to the only world
That endures...under mortality's pall.
What an interesting series of images to put together in your brain. @slowdecline48
@bestVase7265 Thanks. These things happen after I nod off
I rarely remember my dreams and I am always impressed by those that do. @slowdecline48
@slowdecline48 This is really good, too bad it was made possible with bad feelings.
@hitmeupimLayla Thanks. In my experience & from what I've gathered talking to a few other artists so far, "good feelings" are nice to have but it's the bad ones that are fuel for creative work. It's sorta like war...as someone once said, war is horrific to go through but it makes for terrific history books. 😝
Passenger's Lament
O Michelle, lovely Lyft driver,
A slim well-preserved 50 with brown hair,
Eyes like dark chocolate & a cute smile,
Rather tall, light-skinned with cheekbones high,
Hard-working in denim over toned thighs...
...& married, with two daughters & a son.
More haikus:
Make plans, silly fool
But don't blame a god for the
Law of Entropy.
Plans in the morning
Flare-up k.i.lls the head of steam
Sit down, uselessly
Because of the frost warning,
The tap goes drip...drip...drip
so the pipes don't freeze & crack
So quiet, regular, as interesting as watching paint dry...
My life is summed up in the dripping kitchen tap.
DIRGE
By the unit one afternoon I walked
The patio was empty, chairs & tables gone
Shade umbrella in the dirt by the front door
Under the 2nd-floor patio, broken, slack.
Walt* & I had sat & talked
Of what he did (& didn't do), the TV on,
Of what I told him of what I did
In the earlier of our stacks.
The next time I passed by
Maintenance crew: two in blue suits
The living room empty, with plastic "wood"
Flooring where the carpet had been.
No trace of our beer, of that guy,
Just the workers doing what they do
(Slap on the paint & call it "ready")
for the next tenant to pay & move in.
I'd sat with him, watching his fish
In the tanks, the long glass rectangle
Holding gallons of water, where they swam
Obliviously, around the "log" & "plants"...
Once I cooked, once I washed dishes,
Filters, lights out in the tanks, hangled
Against the glass wall. I turned to Walt:
Thin...his legs did not fill up his pants.
That was the last time I saw him.
Note: This is an edited version, to comply with 7Cups rules.
*name changed for privacy.
@slowdecline48 that's sad 😢 is that your friend you were talking about?
@Tinywhisper11 I've wrote 4 poems, all about my son joshua ❤
@Tinywhisper11 He wasn't a friend, exactly...more of an acquaintance. And a neighbor, as he was in this same aptmt anthill as me.
@slowdecline48 ohhhhh ok I remember you mentioned him before. Sorry sweetie ❤❤ even just a aquaintance or neighbour, death has a big impact on us. Gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤
Thanks, Lola. I just wish I could stop thinking about this stuff for a day or two...a week would be better. But it is in my mind regularly. Always thinking about mortality...when I'm cold sober, that is. Which is most of the time.
Sending peace. @slowdecline48
@slowdecline48 gives you the biggest tiny hug evvverrrr ❤ I love you ❤
How have things been going?
@bestVase7265 Eh... 🤷🏼♂️
Good of you to ask. Am mostly over an infection that I'm on an antibiotic for. Right now there's a touch of arthritis in the fingers on my right hand. I haven't done anything creative in a few days, between being sick & trying to keep up with chores.
Before I got ill this time I did go out to eat, at a place I had never been before. It was a bit pricey for my blood but it was worth it. Am still amazed to find a restaurant--of all places!--that carries Tempranillo!
That is always a challenge when you get hit with the physical stuff on top of everything else. But "eh" is better than horrible.
I am glad that you had such a lovely meal before you got sick. You are doing a great job in seeing things that you should be grateful for. @slowdecline48
@bestVase7265
I just remembered I didn't return the courtesy. 🤦🏼♂️ How's life treatin' you?
Thanks for asking. Things have been better to be honest. Very much on the roller coaster. But I am trying. @slowdecline48
Some free verse:
This is the chronic life.
Your symptoms flare, then
You go sit or lie down,
Depleted, the tank empty.
If you can you sleep
(nothing else to do)
It is easy, so easy
To let the days drift by
While you wait for
the final victory.
- copied from my journal
I could've posted this on any of more than half of the days, from about a year before my diagnosis to now.