The presence of time

In the future, there will be no uncertainty
I whispered to myself in a dark room
I will not fear, I will not avoid
I will be complete

In the future, things will get better
I said, comforting myself late at night
I will not feel sad, I will not feel lonely
I will be strong

In the future, everything will make sense
I forced myself to believe
I will not question my strength, I will not disappoint myself
I will be happy

In the future, what will things really be like?
I started to wonder
I can not predict the future, I can not see what lies ahead
I should not cling to something that is not real

''In the future'', what does that really mean?
I asked myself
Is it just a figment of my imagination? A projection of my hopes and fears?
Is it even any different from the present?

In the future, what nonsense is that?!
For what is the future, if not the present being perceived at a different time
Why must I concern myself with worrisome thoughts
Why shan't I just enjoy what I have now?

@Cheeney really awesome

@tealPeach9549 Thank you!

itriedmybest

atyourbehest

butiwasnevergoodenough

foryourlovesorough

itriedmybesttostand

andkeepyouinhand

butiwasnevergoodenough

foryourlovesotough

justgivemeachance

tolearnhowtodance

todancetoyoursong

itwonttakeverylong

jsutgivemeachance

achancetodance

@courageousSugar5697 Here you go:

I tried my best

At your behest,

But I was never good enough

For your love so rough.

I tried my best to stand

And keep you in hand,

But I was never good enough

For your love so tough.

Just give me a chance

To learn how to dance,

To dance to your song.

It won't take very long.

Just give me a chance

A chance to dance

Very interesting work! Keep it up, and I hope you get that bug fixed.

sooryforsomereasonitwontletmeputspacesbetweenwordsanditbugsmetoiknow

No One

I'm here again alone with no one that seems to care,

No one who digs deep to know me,

I am judged so quick it's not fair.

My loneliness is sometimes so hard to bare,

Will no one hold me?

Where is my lover, my companion,

I still have feelings to spare,

But I am still left alone,

With no one who really cares.

Ash

Now I recall why I chose to fool around

and pretend to be loved while investing my all.

Because I'm so goddamn broke

and the passion I used to love

has moved on without me

because I couldn't really get my act together

when my first abuser broke me.

so I hid

for 10 years

on false romances,

to feel the fullness of life in movies

only to fall back to square one

and now

I have to deal with life

as a 25 year old

with only 10 dollars to her name

technically living in her parents' basement

while all her friends enjoy achievements

this

is why...

now i get it.

and there's no turning back.

I wish i hadn't cut him off, then at least

I have some fantasy to escape to.

wellhere'sanotheroneandimsorryistillcantputspacesinbetweenmywordsiamreallysorryforyouguysifyouhavetroublereadingthisiwrotethisforthegirlilovebutitdidntpanoutsowell*sigh*

you-feel-like-the-world-is-dragging-you-down

and-is-shoving-you-to-the-ground

and-yet-i-dont-know

how-i-can-show

these-feelings-i-have-for-you

that-i-wish-you-knew

ive-tried-my-best

to-put-it-to-rest

but-i-cant-lie-anymore-as-i-stand-here-alone-on-the-dance-floor

i-love-you

as-sure-as-the-morning-dew

i-can-learn

for-you-i-yearn

for-my-heart-is-yours

just-please-dont-walk-out-that-open-door

just-give-me-one-more-chance

one-more-dance

ughthatwasstrenuoupressingthedashinbetweeneverywordisotedious

2am

the silence weighs heavy

down

down

and the clock seems to slip away

alone

the dark wraps you in it's sickly caress

but

sleep illudes you

though the weight of the morning rests heavily on your eyes.

My winterlight

[this is a poem about the SAD, Seasonal Affective Disorder, that I have.]

Crystal-white, snowy ice

sunshine sparkles the snow,

ignites my happiness.

True hope, love and warmth...

So beautiful it is, the winter light

I need those days to stay alive

during pitch-black hours

I feel torn, but still alive.

With the will to survive

Even when my body gives in,

my soul will keep going.

And when spring is here again,

my body can heal.

Infect me with your sadness
Inject my veins with melancholy
Tear my ribs apart and
Hold that ruthlessly beating
Battered life pump
Hold it in your palms
Hold it and trace the vessels with your finger tips
Caress the red walls of throbbing silk
As the warm sea oozes all over you
As your fingernails slash into the fine satin walls of my heart
So tell me love, can you feel it?
Through my screams and through your laughs

@LadyLazarus03, This is powerful stuff. Wow.

@Soulcry It's beautiful <3

@Soulcry, the images of winter--superb! I think it's hard to do it without running into clichés.

I keep finding clues

that trigger me

reminding me

that somehow

maybe

for sure

you have some other lady

damn.

her drawing.

a girl...caressing

a man who looks

so much like you.

this drawing

looks like everything i did for you.

except it's not mine.

and she got your face wrong

her proportion sucks

but despite all this wrong-ness

the impression was there

and it punched me in the gut

slapped me in the face

and stabbed my heart

dated 2 days after my birthday

august 31

the day

you said things

that made me feel

you were fine without me

suddenly

like that

somehow

hot potatoes

would stay longer in your hand

than me.

so what

that fast?

because she's popular?

i knew you telling me she was ugly was just a bunch of horseshit

when feelings come in play,

ugliness or beauty has no match for the rosy tint of romance.

and you replaced me with her convenience.

just like that

while i have to agonize over every single thing.

the regret, the guilt, the pain.

i pity her really.

she doesnt know you're just a devil in disguise.

but i hope she makes you happy

the way i couldnt have done no matter how much i tried.

nah

not really.

may she realize what i realized.

and see you for what you are.

i want you to feel this pain

i want you to experience this fear that nobody might ever replace you in my heart

because i loved you.

but the difference is...you will realize it too late.

and i will realize i deserve better.

Sometimes the beginning is the end

My broken heart shall one day mend

What lies in store for me to see

When there's nothing but pure misery


I do my best; it's not enough

Why must my life be so darn rough

Who cares to know and understand

I'm amongst the living; a walking deadpan


My heart is forsaken; my mind is null

I'm taken for granted and fed a lot of bull

No one can ever hurt me once more

The pain has tarnished me to the core


I gave my all; Theres no more to give

Please breathe life into me and allow me to live

I am lost; but have reasons to be strong

My suffering enhanced far far too long


I do not ask why I must stay

I just want the pain to go away

My heart in pain; my mind is lost

I must alleviate the pain; no matter the cost


I have no regrets within the past

My oh my the thoughts that last

Unfocused I am; my eyes are blurry

The rage within;the unspoken fury


No one has ever extinguished my pain

I m seeking rainbows in the mist of the rain

Yet with all that I must face

I still have never given up the race


Something new must replace the old

The only way my story will be told

I've cried a river and and one great sea

Then breathed my soul back into me


My thoughts seem bleak and often scary

To those who do not know that I am weary

This is a lesson learned that I chose to share

Because I need someone to care


I haven't lost faith though my heart bleeds

For mercy as I fall upon my knees

I bow my head and speak into the sky's

"Lord please hear my humbled cries"


I know that my anguish is not forever

My reflections are my inspirational lever

My mind begins to clear the haze

And I continue to challenge the maze


I speak in riddles but there is no doubt

That I above all know what it's all about

I have to get my life back in sync

Because I don't want to be one of the extinct


It's completely rational for me to say

That with my awareness I'm on my way

To Achieving my goals and reaching my mark

But I had to near my end before I could start

@Twokindears This is beautiful. I can relate to it a lot, even if it probably means something else to you. Thank you for sharing this <3

@Soulcry you're welcome

Remember October

It was by the month of October

I can still hardly remember

When my poor heart start to render

For such a damn cute great pretender.

One look and you'll say she's decent

You'll with to smell her fresh scent

But she has this mind full of Judgement

And she won't talk to you unless you're "Someone".

It's never hard to be "Someone"

But it's also never easy to be "The One"

Now, my life is done

Im such a loser to her eyes

When she pass, I seemed to turn to Ice

I guess I have to take my pal's advice

That I have to stop living such Lies

"The Pearl"

The pearl, radiant and delicate

knows the customs and transitions of the world.

Being part of a necklace,

it knows it's worth and purpose

That it was meant to fall apart one day!

Why is it scared of breaking?

When breaking into pieces is its destination!

Falling apart is its purpose!

(My own poetry)

#thoughts

things that keep me wide awake:

anxieties over artworks, and

this whole idea that because of my stupid decisions 10 years ago, and

the damages it entailed, means

that i definitely contributed 60-70% of the damages between us and i

forever lost you in the process. and

i have to live with that for

the rest of my life.

I dont miss you while the sun shines,

For my minds occupied.

But when it sets, as it will do,

Thoughts of you wont subside.

I dont miss you while Im laughing,

Until I think of yours.

It could charm birds from the treetops.

Your laugh I do adore.

I dont miss you while Im writing,

Except when I ponder

You gave me a reason to write.

And then, my heart grows fonder.

I dont miss you while playing songs,

But your memry comes back.

You played beautiful piano,

And you had skill I lack.

I dont miss you while the sun shines,

But do under the moon.

I may not see you again,

But I hope I do soon.

-Lucas Durand

Hope

I chanted her name in silence and crowds
Bolted her initials on citys charcoal walls
Swallowed through shady woods by her bedside
Was I consumed and burnt in her breath, each time I sighed

Every day I brush by her feet or her freckled arms
As the crimson sun, dew on flowers, capture this moment warm
Hope for the vase to break, tongues moist be remade
Oh my love, on city's very corner I swayed alone as I prayed

Somebody,

Anybody,

Pleaes

Free me

from the haunting images

of him and her, flirting on the very day we met three years ago, today.

I can't take it.

Funny how I took this action to release me,

but instead, it only freed him and her to fall for each other

while I watch in horror

disbelief

loss and grief and

shock

at the same time relief, and confirmation

of the doubts that plagued my mind.

How do you get out of this?

How do you stop the torment, when, I thought, removing him, would stop it all

only to have them multiply in my head

with the acid of regret, guilt and doubts

why

why

why

why

why

why

why

cant

it

just

stop

please.

@weepingartist, this poem really touched me. You capture a universal human sorrow.

❤️

This is a poem i wrote about someone who betrayed me

She walked into my life

Letting me trust her

But out of no where she hit me like a bullet

Now a broken friendship

Memories that are stuck replaying in my head

So tell me why she decided to hit me like a bullet

Puncturing my heart making it hurt more feeling more broken

Tell me where did i mess up so i can try to repair it

Tell me please

She left me sadden and afraid to let anyone in my life AGAIN

She punctured my heart

Making it more broke

I am sorry for not being the person she wanted me to but for heavens sake let me be me

Dear @imJoJolivinginneverland, I especially love the last line--let me be me.

Personally, I don't see a reason to apologize for being ourselves. And I don't think you need someone's permission, either! Your thoughtful poem captures the feeling of betrayal and the struggle to be accepted, and perhaps the journey toward accepting ourselves. Interesting ...

t all goes.

Even though you're so stupid u make me laugh

Even though i shove you away inside you make my heart smile so big

Even though when you look at me i look away

I wish it could be like that longer

Two people just looking at each other just because

No one needs to be told why because we all already know.

The thoughts in our heads no longer words

Just instinct and feelings

Just the butterflies in my stomach and the redness in my face

I would say your more charming than attractive,

But you still have my emotions going active,

This type of thing has never happened to me before

But i know there is always a girl who can offer more

I probably don't have a chance

So all i do for now is look at you and pretend like I feel nothing for you

Because if it goes further than this i might ruin it

I'm perfectly fine with side glances and looking down at your lips when we talk

But at night

I took at the wall

As the tears drip down

I know Ill never be enough

I close my eyes trying to forget you

By the time i convince myself

I see you the next day

And

It

All

Goes.

Maybe you know my looks, but you dont know my past

Mental hospitals,

suicide attempts, self harm,

blades, pills, bloody baths,

Screaming of

sadness.

Anxiety seizures.

You may know the pretty face I put a show for you everyday, but you have yet to know the ugliest.

But youll run away like everyone else

So Ill continue this way

Looking at your hand wishing i could hold it

Maybe to you were just friends but I remember

everything you say to

me

The way your nose was all cute and wrinkled when you said

my name

How your hand felt when we did a high five,

stupid things really.

Something in the way you move me makes me

change.

I could be having the

worst day

But when I see you

It

All

goes.

Just the pitch in your voice

Your weird fingers,

The smile on your face,

Your weird hair that i wish i could touch.

Your stupid jokes,

Your crazy laugh

Just the feeling of butterflies

But when you're gone

It

All

Goes.

Frustration resides in me as does breathing.

A new problem is found in each hour,

Yet I will admit to you that I'm a coward,

Because I never want to sow what I'm reaping.

I'm not happy with my life, but for what reasons?

I complain and I weep for something more,

Yet I never want to take a step out the door,

Because I choose to be scared of the changing seasons.

I am the epitome of jealousy.

I sit back and watch as a slave under time,

Wishing everything that they had was mine.

I never asked for this to be me!

So God please, although I'm unworthy, help push me to strike,

Because I fear I will never know what it's like to be alive.

To be strong

Oh feeble is my mind today
food gives me no energy, smiles no joy
I tend to lose myself in the music
tunes of sadness that resemble the thoughts in my head

And when I replay them and compare,
there's hardly any difference at all
Before thoughts can turn into symphonies
a requiem must first be heard, lived

Sometimes I need someone to pull me through
sometimes even a simple hello will do
Other, darker times, the mind is empty and yearns for silence
trying to shut out even its host

Feeble is who I am today
but I will make my peace with it
For if I am not feeble today
there is no way for me to be strong tomorrow

I miss you.

That's the truth.

Still circling this elliptical road.

Walking in circles through our memories

that no longer haunt you

only me.

Keep busy, they say.

Focus on yourself, they say.

Forget him, he was very abusive to you, they say.

And I do.

I try.

Everyday.

I walk from moving on street, down to the bend at thinking of your bad traits corner,

then making sure to look at the "you said very horrible things" sign before I continue walking,

and stop over at "you also cheated on me" drive.

Then I come around the next avenue, filled with all the what-ifs, could've beens, should haves.

The good stuff.

The warm and fuzzy stuff you promised,

Was your face, the emotions in it, even real?

How good could you possibly be at lying? How gullible am I?

So now I do miss you.

I miss when you were true,

When you loved me.

I'm here with my hazard lights on,

at a pause by the shoulder of the road.

Wishing, waiting, hoping on nothing.

And when I remember you now,

I see her.

How you've found another light

to shine on your selfish world.

Apparently I was just a bulb that went out

easily replaceable with one of better wattage.

I wonder if she has better warranty than me.

I hope she lasts longer,

but at the same time, I hope your circuits are faulty.

I miss you.

I still dream of what our could've beens would've looked like.

Feeling your prickly beard. Those ruddy cheeks and pinkish lips.

Have you kissed Anna already?

Or are you planning things with Wendy?

Or maybe Angel, Nina, Tze Lin, Suman, and some other girl I don't know.

I sometimes dream you fell for a Korean, a Japanese, Malaysian or Chinese.

Any girl with a cute Asian ass, that has no belly like me.

Or maybe Pedro will show you some pretty girls, or maybe Eric and Bastian.

Who knows, maybe your brother even consoled you.

All these plague me

and yet I still miss you.

Hoping. Maybe. A flicker a thought.

Of me.

Will make you pause

and grieve too

If only

you miss me

too.

This is a short scribble for my twinnie @2genpoet as he completes one year on 7cups today

For every time that I was shy
And you caught my hand and stood beside
I wonder if you are truly far
I wonder if that is how twins are

For every time that you pushed me on
To go to places I would rather not
I wonder if you are truly far
I wonder if that is how twins are

For every time that I was low
And you gave me space yet never let go
I wonder if you are truly far
I wonder if that is how twins are

Maybe there are many realities real
Or maybe reality is beyond what we perceive
I wonder how that could make you truly far
I wonder if that is how twins are

I'll wait.

I love you but I can't say it to you yet.
I want to know you mean the world to me now,
But also that I might scare you away.
I miss your presence, but,
I won't have it again until months down the road.

Sometimes I wish you didn't exist,
Perhaps then the pain in my heart would disappear.
I wouldn't have to worry or think about how much I really care for you,
I wouldn't have to wish that you were living in my physical presence.

The pain hurts only so deep, yet I can't let you go.
I don't want to let you go, and you aren't letting me go either.
So I'll wait. I'll wait through this trial.

Until I figure out this dilemma, I'll wait.
Through this pain, I'll wait, and,
As I've always done, I'll wait.

I'll wait until the storm passes.
I'll wait while the sun goes down, and,
I'll wait until it rises again.

Because I know, if there's one thing I'm good at,
It's waiting. So, I'll wait. I'll wait for tomorrow.

I'll wait.

Not good enough-

Feeling like you're not good enough is like everything you believe that you achieved is falling apart.

You feel like no matter how much you struggle there's no end to the madness.

The voices in your head telling you to work harder be better stay strong when the seems are about to burst is no way to feel.

When you feel like you have no purpose in life and you're trying to find one.

You fall to your knees attempting to be great seeing and watching everyone else be great and successful while you feel alone without a purpose.

Would drive any man, woman or child to the brink of depression.

To go so low as to silence the voice in your head telling you that you aren't good enough to be anything!

I don't like to talk to people about my feelings.

I like to hold it all in like a balloon with too much air.

While seems are getting to weak as I try to succeed in this world when my mind doesn't believe in me.

I'm feeling weak as my knees start to sink underneath all pressure from the weight I keep feeling inside me.

My mind races to find the power inside of me to hold the weight of society telling me I need to be something great or I won't succeed.

I need to believe in me it's only a matter of time till my time runs to absolute zero.

Then what?

Every day I hope that this all is just a nightmare

Every day I woke up crying knowing it's real

Every day I wish that you are still here with me

Every day I talk it out as if it's nothing

Every day I pray that this heartbreak too shall pass

Every day I remind myself that I will be okay

Every day I see those motivational quotes in hope in can lift my spirit

Every day I listen to songs that makes me reminded of you even more

Everyday I let my heart breaks me up so I can 'move on'

Every day I saw people saying that I am special and that I will move on

Every day I don't understand why they can't understand I need more time

Every day I write things about you so that this can left my heart easier

Every day I hope that though there is a lot of heart break, I am not included in those sappy stories

And every day I reminded of how this thing is real and how much a heart can change even when you are so near with it.

And every day my heart breaks a little and sometimes all together

And every day I picked up all the pieces making my hand all red knowing that I am putting it all back just so I can break it again and again

Yet hoping that somehow this too shall past

Memories.

They bring little comfort as they are moments passed, unavailable to be relived.

Everyone keeps saying "look forward and keep going".

Looking forward scares me, and to be honest i cant even see that far.

-Me

This New Year's Eve of 2016

I realized I'll have questions that will never be answered.

Like why my ex would rather choose to be nice to people that were horrible to me.

Or why I feel so entitled to the choices he makes with being polite to people who talk behind his back.

While he has the utmost hatred for me and my failings.

4...or is it 5 months in now,

and I still wonder.

I don't like making up answers, but I know that if I inquire, I will only get non-answers

or questions that will counter mine

and change the topic to why it's my fault again.

Spinning, spooling, weaving, knitting

repetitive motions of pointless thinking.

Maybe the answer is that:

it's good I left.

his actions after the parting reveal enough answers:

his choice of flirting, his choice of talking cordially with those people that he knows full well contributed to my pain

his humanity being flawed as can be, like mine

choosing the immature way of hurting me behind my back.

All this, are enough answers.

It's one of the things I have to accept and live with.

Because not all things get their real answers.

Sometimes we have to make up our own to make sense of it all...

and maybe that's never a bad thing.


If they can weave up all these schemes and stories based on their

painted assumptions about me, it's only fair.

For my sake.

Like it was for theirs.

Heartbreak.

A chest infection from an unswallowable pill.

No fever, just trembling veins in every hollow, that echo within. The ricochet of which amplifies the deafening wound,

leaving the depths of my love defeated.

@Frost11 this is so powerful, and in so few words. I'm really impressed :o