I hate feeling exposed.

I hate the

Insecurity that coincides with

the way you have opened yourself

For everyone to see.

The way you cant decide

how

To feel or who to be,

Cant remember if you

did

Anything that matters at all.

It leaves you wondering, Am

I

Just a fool to feel like this?,

And Should I just

let myself

waste away?,

Leaving you wishing that you

Didnt have to

get

Up, wishing that you werent

here,

And then doing the whole process

again.

We give so we can take
Our love a bottomless pit
Fall in
I'm here
Hungry for you
Together at last
Devouring energy
Stealing time
Making new worlds
Just to destroy them
Take my hand so I can pull you close
Turn on you when you need me most
---- your ---- up
A smile that says "You really get me"
Twin flames
Together forever
An eternity cycling in and out of existence
Past pain binds us
Damned to forever recreate it
Mine, yours, theirs
What's it matter?
It's always emptiness in the end
Alone in the dark of nothingness
I'll have you by my side

expletive deleted by forum mentor Annie

And suddenly he left me. But that was okay. Because I am known to be the girl who can win the heart of another, But cannot keep it safe in her arms. I am known to be the girl who tries so hard to earn the love of another, And when it is won, I am known to --- up. I am complimented on my looks, But when asked about my love life, I would frown with heartbreak and grief, Because I am just another single, broken-hearted girl, Who tries so hard to be loved In order to love herself.
And maybe earning his love will change me, And maybe loosing his love will break me, But either way, I am just another girl who is strong; Broken; And unwanted.

I've given up

Lost it all

Can't believe

Ive made it

this far.

Away

I'll travel.

Good-bye.

I'll never survive

Anyway.

Just take my bleeding soul

Its all on me

My small heart black as coal

Taken for free

Scars for payment

Tears in my eyes

My pain, this Arrangement

Fear my Demise

Love

Sounds like Laugh

And this is not the good kind of laugh anymore

but rather the hysterical kind.

I'm losing the point.

It doesn't heal. It doesnt help.

Nothing helps...

when you don't love yourself.

Nobody can reach you

when you don't love yourself.

Walls are built from within,

and only a few dedicated souls can get in -- barely.

But I bet they're bruised, battered, and slowly getting broken.

Just to reach you.

My love for you, I swore, was eternal.

I swore.

To grow up,

I swore to be better.

You promised the same, only to falter.

Where are you now?

Where will I lose you?

Why are you going back to the fort that consumed you?

Why choose death over life?

Why choose emptiness, despair, delirium over warmth and joy?

Is it easier?

That's it????

That's your only reason????


Ease...

Convenience...

....then maybe I'm just not worth it for you.

I think and I listen,
I scream and I cry,
None of which you're seeing,
For you're nowhere near my side.

But if we were sitting,
on each other's lap,
None of it would cross your eyes,
For none of it shows outside.

I wish you would listen,
hold me and sigh,
of course you were seeing,
for I'm always on your mind.

But for it to happen,
right here and right now,
I'd have to be dreaming,
for you're nowhere in sight.

This is my body. It is covered in sores and scars from when I had them before and yes they do still hurt.

But the hurt is the pain of them picking at my scabs asking why I don't just stop picking them myself.

And I can't tell them that it doesn't hurt when I do it it's just impulse like a third kiss. And they scrutinize my skin asking if I'm on drugs or if I have a sickness. Yes I have a sickness it's you and they're quick-to-judge-I-can't-help-you-but-I'm-curious-mentality. How they stare at my wounds and not at my eyes which are not the windows to my soul but they contain it.

My eyes are my telescopes, they let me see galaxies in other's. My eyes are my judgment and my scrutiny but they are also my love because I see you and my red and purple decorated body tightens and my heart which lets me see further temporarily stops. My feet take the weight of my heart and move me towards you because you see my galaxies instead of my individual stars.

Because my stars are my flaming Cardinal spots and my scars are the debris left behind when they die. Or heal and those are synonyms because to die is to be born as a scar on the universe's back.

Your scar travels around in your loved ones cortex's and in their brains they see your stars and they push them away because you are so much more than your scarlet circles of festering fire. This fire fuels my soul which is my eyes and when the fire runs out they can see your debris through they're telescopes and when they do they will name it and find it stunning.

Now

When there is space and time…
Awful things creep in my mind
Lingering at night in bed
My thoughts fill with dread