OUR ORIGINAL POETRY: Share It Here

I ALWAYS WOKE UP JUST IN HAND,

CLUTCHING THE TRUTH IN THE FAR END,

I WAS WAITING FOR YOU

DEEP IN OUR MEMORIES,

I FOUND YOU DEAD IN THE CHAOTIC DEBRIS,

YOU SAID THIS ONE LAST WORD ..

YOU REALLY MEANT ME THE WORLD,

I SAW YOUR EYES

THEY WERE LIKE THE FIRE AND ICE

I LOOKED INSIDE

WE WERE HAPPY IN THE THOUSAND SKIES.

EVERYDAY IT HURT ME DEEP

YOUR THOUGHTS NEVER LET ME SLEEP

I SAW YOU ONCE

I FELT MY HEART POUNCE

YOU WERE IN BLUE AND WHITE

NEVER KNEW YOUR NAME . ITS IN THE BEAUTIFUL SKIES

Dear ve99, This tumultuous poem is very compelling. I read it over and over.

It feels like waking up from a dream and remembering fragments. Grieving a lost love.

The phrase "Happy in the thousand skies" stays with me.

@Annie .... thank you very much it really means a lot .... im really glad you liked my poems

(Trigger Warning: Intrusive/suicidal thoughts.)

(Just so you know, this was written when I had a panic attack a few hours ago. I decided not to edit it, except for spacing, so no words are changed. I hope you like it!)

My conversation with myself.

And I will only be happy

if my mind dies

away.

Away from the onslaught

of people

that I face,

I hide

away.

Away from the social

groups

that never seem to

accept me,

resorting to shunning me

away.

Away from my mind,

I am truly happy.

But that is a lie

-just like the "I'm fine" crap you say day after day.
liar, just stop. what a hypocrite.
should you just go ahead and end...

"Just stop!"

I

yell.

These thoughts are just too

much.

I can't

take it.

-Pitiful, useless die die do it liar lies fake

I

scream.

My call is

heard by

someone who saw me.

my mother.

I stop.

immediately,

suddenly

taciturn.

-ignore her do it quiet now no more no more

I

shun

her.

Now,

I am in a little

room,

with a bookshelf and

a painting by an obscure artist

as a woman talks to me.

"Are you doing well?" she asks innocently enough.

-no no you're dying dying die away jump off a bridge now

"Yes." I reply, my voice shaky.

"Are you

sure?" she asks.

No

response,

as I try to

hold back

the tears.

I nod.

She will

never

know.

That is good,

at least.

Dear @Monarda, it is good to see you again. I've been away for a while.

I'm sorry you're experiencing such painful wrenching thoughts. Intrusive, indeed, oh my god! My dear one, you are beautiful and worthy, and you give voice to feelings in a way that reaches others and helps.

Your voice is important. Don't let anything silence your beautiful voice!

@Annie Oh gosh thank you! This comment really means a lot <3

I seriously appreciate it, you really made my day. I really needed that by the way, so thanks for that as well!

@Monarda this resonates with me. That voice comes out of nowhere, most of the time when you're most vulnerable too and can't help but agree to what it says.

Sometimes I just wish to tell it "man why can't we be just friends?"

in which it replies more abuse or invites me to more abusive behavior.

I hope we get through this my friend. I know the feeling all too well. that voice is the worst frenemy we have.

@weepingartist It really is, isn't it? It becomes your crutch, in a sick way. Like, "Oh, I feel horrible because of it but at least I have it going on". It's a bit contradictory

@Monarda it gets more dangerous when it starts to feel lonely, and seeks for an abusive partner to mess with you. So it becomes a threeway horror romance.

I hope that at least it screws up at that and we find good company with us instead, until this horrible tiny voice doesnt matter to us anymore.

@MONARDA @WEEPINGARTIST

As I re-read this conversation today, it struck me as really relevant to the topic of Dating Violence, a topic being explored at 7 Cups of Tea during the month of February 2016.

There are some good books being written about why people (especially young women) end up in abusive relationships. And I think you've tapped into it in your poems.

CLICK HERE for more info.

#TeenDVawareness

Hi @Annie

thanks for the heads up. actually i'm going through therapy again because i feel like i'm potentially screwing up a relationship by subconsciously coaching him to act like my abuser. i dont know why it's happening yet...but therapy is helping me work around the conflicts. thank you for this reading material because it might shed light on what happened to me prior to meeting this person i'm at the risk of losing because of the aftermath of abuse in my past...

@weepingartist, good for you to see what's unfolding and seek some guidance from a pro.

@BraveSpirit it's been a year...i healed. but the relationship disintegrated. i still feel sad about it..i sometimes think i got into therapy too late, or he really had his own issues that he didn't want to deal with..and would rather blame it on me. oh well :') -sigh-

People Told Me

People told me to hide it

And I did

People told me to fake a smile

And I did

People told me to brush it off

And I did

People told me to get over it

And I did

People told me to get better grades

And I did

People told me to stop being so quiet

And I did

People told me to stop being selfish

And I did

People told me to get more sleep

And I did

People told me to eat more

And I did

People told me to keep it a secret

And I did

People told me to cut some more

And I did

People told me to kill myself...

@MidniteAngel Woah, this gave me shivers. It hits really hard, and the repetition is perfect. This is an amazing poem, and the emotion behind it is amazing. I particularly like the last line. To me, it shows that you can get better, because there was no "And I did". That was the part that really made me choke up. Thank you for sharing this! I loved it, and I hope that you are on the road to recovery

@Monarda

I'm far too stubborn to let other people be the reason for my sadness haha. Yes I guess the last line just presents that internal battle of whether I should or should not go through with it. Recovery is a long hard road, but I hope I'll stay long enough for the reward.

@Monarda

@MidniteAngel

I agree, this is a haunting poem, the repetition has an AMAZING effect. This poem chilled me to the bones.

1:20 AM Friday in the Grove

Saw your tag on the wall
In fat sharpie graffiti script
"White Boys are Gross"
A smile slowly crept cross my face
As I took a staggering pee
I knew it was you my sweetest friend
And there I was
With my own white boy that's gross
Wasn't about him
You have our own
But I knew
I knew it was you
And it was the high light of my night
Selfied my stupid face under your wise words and texted
Is see you & lord you'd son much
half a bottle of Russian Standard for
Is this you? love you so much
You immediately sent
Yes, I love you too

@fairmindedBalloon6827​

Not sure I comprehend this fully but it has a voice that I like a lot. Rhythm and images that intrigue.

Oh I am just a potato

Said the potato to her noble King Tomato

Save the vegetables said the potato seeing a distant tornado

@enthusiasticChestnut4122 super made my day. thank you xD heehee

@enthusiasticChestnut4122

This is perfection

Even if I was the one that chose to end it.

All I could hear are songs that are accusatory towards me.

"Cry me a river"

"Slow dancing in a burning room"

"Broken strings."

"Would you still love me the same"

Followed by our songs

"Rather be."

"Stronger"

"Digital Love"


Haunting me...killing me, tormenting me.

it should empower me, right?

I stood my ground right? I chose for myself that I won't be your doormat anymore.

But why does it feel so bad?

Why do I feel I'm the one discarded?

Even if I was the one who left screaming, saying how much i hated you

For giving up on us, for keeping things from me, for choosing not to fight anymore, for subtly showing me I'm not worth it...that our future is not worth it no longer,

Why am I the one that feels left behind?

As I walked on by this path

I ignored the flags, all tinted red.

Days, weeks, months,

I could barely remember a time neither of us cried.

The first months were the best, I had your complete devotion. Your love, your innocence.

Until now I feel regret.

But there was a cause why I left,

No matter how you made me felt safe, your youthful inexperience has left me walking on landmines you didnt intend to plant for me to walk on.

Eventually, your hurt turned into selfishness. To protect yourself, to retain yourself.

I can never say. Maybe you wanted me to stay, but without forgiveness, you wanted me to repay, the efforts you chose yourself to give away.

I did beg you, I did unspeakable things too just for you to hear me.

I was needy, I let my depression consume me.

But I listened to you didnt I?

I swore I'll get better didnt I?

I promised to save myself,

To look for help, but not from you

And I did good, didnt I?

Then how come you say things that make me feel your spite?

"I subconsciously hate you."

"I just feel you when I f--- you"

"I feel nothing anymore"

"Our future doesnt motivate me anymore"

"I'm angry at you, I dont understand why"

"it's your turn to suffer. i did this for a year to you"

Did you truly love me?

Or was it pity?

No...it wasn't love.

You stopped, the moment you saw the darker side of me.

My provocations just made you stay.

But without them, it just showed how you truly felt

And maybe that's why

No matter how much I scream,

No matter how much I try to hit a nerve,

I dont make an impact to you anymore.

My value has long been lost to you.

...and half of that was all my fault.

@weepingartist

Amazingly powerful. The emotions are raw and vivid.

"The flags tinted red . . ." Well said. (I've seen them, too)

These questions you raise, they are the questions that haunt us all, I think. . . .

I love how you explore these feelings so honestly.

@Annie aw sorry i never got a chance to reply.

Until now it brings me to confusion...i'm not sure if they were red flags he put up or i put up over his head.

in regards to the abuse topic...the man i was referring to in these poems, reacted somehow the same way i reacted to my ex-gf (the abuser to me when i was in college). he laughed at the discovery that he somehow noticed it too before that i behaved like my exgf to him.

it's a horrible cycle...right now in therapy i'm understanding both sides...the victim and the abuser...and i dont know where to place myself. haha...i feel like i lost this guy that was willing to help me out truly just because of ghosts and monsters in my head.

The "RAIN"~

I See the gentle evening rain,

its falling on my window pane.

Looks like crystal balls of light,

Like tiny teardrops in the night.

Teardrops falling, filled with pain,

I see this in the quiet rain.

They do not say a single word,

Yet deep within, all can be heard~

@politeOcean93

I love this.

@Annie

Thank you Annie! I really appreciate your compliment and feedback. Thanks again

@politeOcean93

I wasn't able to articulate what it was exactly that I liked so much about the poem. It was just that I could SEE the raindrops you described, I could FEEL the poet's heart. And I admired the technical aspects even tho' I was at a loss to parse them!

Wonderful.

Why can't profession have compassion?

Why can't businessmen, who rely so much on customer's emotions

Be more compassionate?

The world, the world, is a confusing place.

If you want to be successful in life,

You must appear appealing and compassionate to sell,

But ruthless and cold so as not to be fooled with negotiations.

Profit is lost if we care, Profit is gained if we "show" we care.

Don't mix the two up, kid. You need to be a pro. and Pros are not weak.

Pros should know that kindness is fake in this area of life.

Leave true compassion on the personal side....to "charity" as we call it in finances.

Have two faces, you can't just have one, people like you are a waste of space, money and time.

I'm lost.

Sometimes I'm convinced as an artist I'm scum of the earth.

I sell stuff you really have no decent use for but to look at.

I request money out of my hard work, and sometimes it's an amount of money that I think people in hard labor deserve more.

I don't know what else to do, it's the only way I know how to live.

To paint things that serve no purpose but to be looked at.

To write things, and comics, to be read for a while -- probably while in the toilet.

I just produce useless things.

Just like how the corporate world also produce the same useless things, mass producing them, and feel entitled or deserving that they contribute such a good job to the world.

I should feel the same, but why do I feel guilt all the time with everything I do?

@weepingartist

I've spent a lot of time in the business world. And one thing that I've seen is that all the corporations and firms are made up of people. People.

What happens to people as they get older and start to lose their youthful ideals? What happens to people when they are at work and thinking about performance stats and budgets and profit?

Your poem raises interesting questions . . . .

I love how you pose the contradictions.

@Annie thank you......up until now I still ask myself this question haha.

@Annie thank you......up until now I still ask myself this question haha.

Brilliant!

@odetopie20, I agree that poetry here is about sharing our feelings. Poetry can be an amazingly helpful thing to help us release painful emotions! Please don't let people discourage you, just keep writing!

Technique is great, but the expression of human experience, something universal and touching -- that's what it's all about.

I love the imagery of law and tax accounting! The opening demand in wonderful!

One of my favorite Shakespeare sonnets is "When to the sessions of sweet silent thought" in which he uses imagery of commerce and accounting. Your poem reminds me of it.

Sometimes

Sometimes it feels like life is passing by

but I'm asleep.

So busy with trying to become

the girl they tell me to be.

And maybe a little moment a day

I dare to stop and see

The beauty of the miracles

that happen around me.

Sometimes it feels like the world flies by

but I am standing still.

And nothing has changed, oh nothing changes

and nothing, nothing will.

And maybe every now and then

I dare to turn around

To face the things that I can't fix,

the things that make me drown...

@glassmarble

Thoughtful and beautiful. Thank you for sharing this!

UNTIL

im doing alright w myself/ doing my own thing

something I always wanted/ hustling all night and day

im all good, all good

UNTIL you came/ pushing me away

as if I'm doing nothing but nonsense/ pricking every corner of my strength

harassing inch by inch of my weakness/ brainwashing my good into bad

i tried so hard to compromise/ to make you feel at ease

pushed myself to please you/ and do the things your way

i let go of the things that I like/ just to make you happy and all that

i keep quiet/ for you to have the spotlight

i didn't argue/ for you to have the last word

i played lesser/ for you to become greater

i didn't struggle w you/ but I'm struggling inside of me

UNTIL I came back to my own

understand that my home is ain't you

I'm done, I'm done, I'm done

im not gonna replace myself just for you

not even be like you, oh no please

I don't want to be like you

atleast I know who to become

and how to treat people around me

That's the opposite of what you did to me

@Sherly

Oh, my, this hits close to home. Well said!