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Your Self Hangs Over Me (old poem by me)

I am forever living in the shadow of who I could be

I'd like to be a bed of rocks sunken under a stream

Where less is expected of me


But I know this low flow 

of words trickling, how it seems 

To you it’s just the same


Bake me into senseless, show me not to see

You want me to become a sack of nothing 

So you can seem more free


Manipulated into motionless, scalloped on my every grain

By your lack of reinforcement

I know how to behave 


For your thoughts unwanted

Use me as your scribble page

I’ll store all new findings until I can throw them away 


The way you talk is ignorant 

The way you breathe releases fleas

I’m itchy just being near you; your self hangs over me 

7
calmMango9611 May 16th

@TheSunIsUpTheSkyIsBlue What a beautiful poem, my friend. You write, with such deep meaning. You really do.

@TheSunIsUpTheSkyIsBlue the way you put your emotions into words is just BEAUTIFUL

@TheSunIsUpTheSkyIsBlue The poem is just *chef's kiss* 

blueLemon6419 September 24th

I love this one. It's emotive and that first line is so so relatable. 

September 25th

@TheSunIsUpTheSkyIsBlue This was lovely, I enjoyed reading this. 

BastionKnight September 27th

@TheSunIsUpTheSkyIsBlue

What an excellent poem, I loved the imagery and metaphors. I thought the contradictory elements ( 'show me not to see', 'sack of nothing', and 'manipulate into motionless') were particularly clever and more potent because of the dichotomy of the words chosen.

The tonal shift from resigned to confrontational gives it a sense of progression/hint of deeper insight and makes one want to know more. Kudos to you. 

1 reply
TheSunIsUpTheSkyIsBlue OP September 30th

@BastionKnight

Thank you so much Knight! I really appreciate your thoughtful commentary on my poem.  It even makes me see my poem in a way that I can’t put into words, but you really nailed what I was going for. Thank you again 🥰💜

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