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Coping With the Holidays
QuietMagic December 13th, 2021
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Hi PD community 💜

There are a lot of things that can make the holiday season especially difficult for people with personality disorders.

  • Being around difficult friends or family members
  • Being forced to interact with people or places that you’re normally able to avoid
  • Loneliness if you don’t have people to spend the holidays with
  • Jealousy at seeing other people seeming to enjoy the holidays while you aren’t
  • Expectations of appearing happy or cheerful even if you’re not feeling that way
  • Feeling stressed from having so many things to do
  • Struggling with triggering songs, scents, rituals, or situations


Here are some things to keep in mind:

  • It’s okay to feel whatever you are feeling
  • It’s okay to not feel “jolly” or “merry” during the holidays
  • It’s okay to need time to recover or care for yourself, and it can help a lot to do anything you've found to work for staying healthy or relaxing
  • It’s okay to set boundaries and prioritize your mental health (e.g. not spending time with someone who has seriously harmed you)
  • It’s okay to celebrate the holidays in your own way and find your own meaning or enjoyment from it
  • It’s okay to reach out for support


Please feel free to use this space to share experiences or receive support for any issues related to the holidays. 💜


Sources:

https://www.talkspace.com/blog/emotional-triggers-holidays/

https://www.clearviewwomenscenter.com/blog/how-to-manage-bpd-triggers-during-the-holiday-season/

https://themighty.com/2018/12/how-to-cope-with-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd-holiday-season/

https://www.samhsa.gov/homelessness-programs-resources/hpr-resources/recognizing-holiday-triggers

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Sunisshiningandsoareyou December 13th, 2021
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Amazing thread @QuietMagic , thankyou for addressing the mixed feelings with holiday times and reassuring everyone that whatever they are feeling, is okay and it is valid!

A supportive space like this is truly helpful ❤

QuietMagic OP December 13th, 2021
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@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

🥰🥰🥰

LavenderHere December 13th, 2021
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@QuietMagic

This is such a sweet and supportive thread, thank you!

QuietMagic OP December 13th, 2021
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@empatheticLavender2924

Thank you!

Lou73 December 13th, 2021
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Agreed that the holiday season can be really difficult for those with PDs for all the reasons above. Some great encouragement @QuietMagic ! there is so much pressure to have a 'merry' Christmas but that looks different to everyone and it's okay to just be and take the holidays at your own pace <3

QuietMagic OP December 13th, 2021
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@Lou73

Appreciate what you've said that it's okay to take things at your own pace, and a "merry" Christmas might look completely different depending on the person. 😊

ahhhhelpimalive December 13th, 2021
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@QuietMagic

Thanks so much for making the post! I totally get it, these times can be tough.

It can be associated with negative memories, and can be quite overwhelming at times for me. People expect happiness about the holidays, always, but it can be difficult at times!

QuietMagic OP December 13th, 2021
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@ahhhhelpimalive

Sure! Yeah, feelings don't always do what we expect them to do. 😊

Jish07541 December 14th, 2021
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@QuietMagic

Nice thread. It really gives people a chance to not feel ashamed or reluctant about how they are feeling and will prompt them to come forward and ask for help. Thank you for all your effort to help and include everyone on these holidays.

Have good holidays everyone and if it's not good don't feel bad to reach out/

QuietMagic OP December 14th, 2021
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@Jish07541

Thank you. 💜 I appreciate what you've said that sometimes there's some reluctance or shame like, "I'm supposed to be happy during the holidays. People are going to criticize me or not understand if I share how I'm feeling."

xandia December 14th, 2021
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@QuietMagic

Wonderful post; I have learned so much since coming to 7 Cups. I enjoy reading these informative fact sheets that you have put together. It helps me recognize that some people just might be experiencing exactly what is stated in your post. Thank you so much for this useful and data-filled sheet.

QuietMagic OP December 14th, 2021
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@xandia

Thank you, glad it felt helpful!

I was looking through your profile and just wanted to say I really appreciate everything you're doing to help people with medical issues. It makes a difference, and I imagine especially in the past couple years it isn't the easiest thing to do.

xandia December 14th, 2021
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@QuietMagic

Thank you so much; I and my colleagues appreciate it when someone lets us know we are doing a good job. You are correct in your assumption that it has not been easy in the last two years for anyone in the healthcare field. We all face burnout daily; families who miss a parent, and strained relationships. But most of us went into a health occupation to genuinely help those who, without our help, would not be here today. Once again, thank you so much for your kindness. May it return to you many times over.
SynSavory December 14th, 2021
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@QuietMagic

I don't mind the holidays. I know some people are very religious and I use this time to recuperate between semesters in school, but I graduated this summer. so it's going to be new to celebrate a Christmas where I don't have exams or extra school. :)

QuietMagic OP December 14th, 2021
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@SynSavory

Glad that the holidays don't feel too bothersome. 😊 And can imagine how that would be new not using this time to recover from school. Congratulations (6 months late haha) on the graduation!

rrretsuko January 2nd, 2022
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@QuietMagic thank you so much for this and for all the support towards people who may be in a difficult place during the holidays <3 it's so considerate and sweet :)

QuietMagic OP January 2nd, 2022
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@rrretsuko

Thank you! Glad it felt helpful

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