Osdd struggles
The body has Osdd I'm an alter making this the host has gone dormant do to needing a mental break do to our partners system we love our partner and their system but it's gotten to the point it's effecting our two littles who are five and the other age slides between three and eight. The five year old is names Anxiety and is in constant worry everyone will leave and is in trouble, and the three through eight year old who is named Zing and he has no self awareness at all he could get assault and never realize but slowly we have taught him too and the problem is he is realizing that our partners have been avoiding him. It has thrown him into making them promise him to talk to him and they promise but never go through and in return they promise to but him toys as a solution but then vent to me and other alters about how Zing wants these things like all he wants it to rant to you about sharks and anxiety wants to rant about space. It is tiring having to fight switches giving the body massive head aches, body pain, and feeling ill or like we are gonna pass out. I really don't know what to do anymore and our partners are going through too much for us to tell them about it all we can do is hint at it...
@moonflowersystemÂ
I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a challenging time. It sounds like there are a lot of complex emotions and struggles within your system. It's important to prioritize self-care and find ways to communicate openly with your partners about the impact on your littles.
You might consider expressing your needs and concerns directly to your partners, perhaps in a written form, if verbal communication feels overwhelming. You might also explore seeking professional support from a therapist who has experience with dissociative disorders. They can provide guidance and tools to navigate these challenges and work towards a healthier balance for everyone involved. Take care đź’š
@moonflowersystem
Hi Moon, this sounds really stressful. We're also a part of a system. It's understandable the host eneds a mental break; this is tough stuff you're all dealing with!
I wonder, what are you doing to maintain the peace and security of the host at this time? Is it possible to still reach them just for a brief check-in or relaxing activity like a mindful cup of tea or their favorite song?
Dealing with littles is almost always a challenge... but these little people can still teach us very valuable things! Anxiety sounds like they're worried about fears of abandonment, and as someone with BPD who also struggles with abandonment fear, I recommend a two-prong approach.
1) Gently!!! reality check the actual likelihood of abandonment. Ask Anxiety if this has happened before. It's also very common for children to believe they're at fault for adult behavior.
2) Read up on attachment theory/styles.
This will be harder with a five year old, but perhaps you and/or I could look into parenting resources on dealing with the developmental fear of abandonment around five years old.
Now, for Zing, you say that he realizes that your partners have been avoiding him. This must be so painful for Zing! What can you do to honor those feelings, without letting him interfere with the partners' boundaries? Ask him or look up ways to manage kid's big feelings like anger. Perhaps something like coloring or making music would be helpful to manage those moods. Gently remind him that its okay for the partners to have boundaries around how much time/money they spend on Zing - and Zing is still a good kid worthy of love and to be heard.
@JarofSeeds627 This is really helpful we will look into this do to yes we are doing better now but stuff like this still happens and we still need to break it to anxiety that one of her favorite people in another persons system might be gone and to be honest only me noah and lacie know about this and dont really plan on telling her.
As for Zing he actually has been enjoying some free time where he watches stuff he likes plays with animals we actually let him out for a bit to be around our grandmother and her dog (Zing loves animals and they really make him happy unlike how the bigs feel dealing with the allergies but its worth it to see him smile).
And as for Noah this stress is common he doesnt tend to deal with stress how he should so he clings onto people for dear life and freaks out easily right now he is actually on an emotional happiness high and that might be happening for awhile which is good.
That parenting idea might be good It would help us out alot do to Anxiety's only parental figure was our friend who was a system and they had a fictive that Anxiety loved to death and to be honest ruined our sleep schedule over so trying to find a distraction from that still because we cant talk with them full time and also just learning to take care of Anxiety and Zings emotions would help because my small bit of parenting on kids only goes to how to make them feel comfortable how to watch them and that stuff not mental health.Â
Its amazing to get advice from other systems this was great advice thank you for it!