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JarofSeeds627
939 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 36 Compassion hearts136 Forum posts77 Forum upvotes109 Current upvotes109 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2024 Member sinceAugust 28, 2021
Recent forum posts
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Small Victories that Mean a Lot to Me
Eating Disorder Support / by JarofSeeds627
Last post
 April 13th
...See more I struggled with binge eating disorder for years and this week I had a can of icing in the fridge but we didn't have any cake mix. I kept wanting to just eat the icing can itself, all of it. But I kept myself calm and waited a few days until my partner bought a cake mix to use with it. Then we made a cake and I had a slice. The next day when he went to work with the rest of the cake at home I was soo scared I was going to eat the whole thing while I was at home but I didn't!!
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SA at Transit Making It Hard To Work :[
Trauma Support / by JarofSeeds627
Last post
 February 23rd
...See more When I was looking for jobs I got sexually assaulted at a station in a bad spot, and like, I know I worked with a different station and I know I went to classes still but if I have a new job.. figuring out the routes.. going to new stops. I never want to go to That Station again but even any new stop is.. oh that's why I'm avoiding looking for work again. Havent been employed for almost two years.I'm not sure what to say besides that. It made working very hard that morning. I kept being, like, okay I'll research interview questions and I'll look up internships and like normal stuff then I just started like breaking down... I want to know that I wouldn't be put in a dangerous situation on my way to work but I was before. And I can't say that for certain. I can do everything right. I can be safe as can be and scope out the neighborhood, my outfit, my behavior. And I just have to accept I really don't know. I could get hurt. I could get hurt by existing. But I don't want that to consume my every waking thought.
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How do you cope with working w/panic attacks& agoraphobia?
Anxiety Support / by JarofSeeds627
Last post
 February 22nd
...See more I have been unemployed since April 2022. Agoraphobic since I was 13. I really need to get a job but I've been living off family/friends and just can't do this anymore. I am so terrified of working especially with negative experiences in the past at work. I went to therapy September 2022-2023 before she had to leave and I was more focused on childhood trauma and reducing panic attacks themselves. I've made progress but the thought of even filling out an online job application makes me freeze. I will procrastinate months at a time between each one. And I know I have to work harder. I don't want to be on disability because legally and financially it sucks and I want to marry my boyfriend without all of the implications that go along with that. I do have genetic spinal disorders that might make me Disabled™ in 20+ years anyway so I'd rather wait lol. But I'm working on my health and I need to celebrate my wins... And grow up.. I am on waitlists for Medicaid therapists and psychiatrists but obviously I can't afford a private one. My primary care gives me Prozac which has helped me (take walks, go to the store, go to classes) but she isn't allowed to prescribe anything stronger. I would need a psychiatrist. I graduated with my associates in Paralegal December 2023 but I only have some retail stock experience. My paralegal internship in summer 2023 went awfully especially due to my anxiety. My goal would be something like stocking again (less customer interaction) before I have the confidence to work more professionally. I *really* need to work on my confidence especially if I'm working in a professional legal context. I have, like, no social skills. I am worried I may only be able to do academic work not actual work. But what if I have a panic attack at work? What do I even do? I don't want to get yelled at again. I don't even want to do any of this. Looking for a job is so hard on me mentally. Filling out applications and interviews wrecks my self esteem. I just feel so horrible about myself honestly especially being unemployed for this long over this.
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How do you cope with working w/panic attacks& agoraphobia?
20 & Over Community / by JarofSeeds627
Last post
 March 5th
...See more I have been unemployed since April 2022. Agoraphobic since I was 13. I really need to get a job but I've been living off family/friends and just can't do this anymore. I am so terrified of working especially with negative experiences in the past at work. I went to therapy September 2022-2023 before she had to leave and I was more focused on childhood trauma and reducing panic attacks themselves. I've made progress but the thought of even filling out an online job application makes me freeze. I will procrastinate months at a time between each one. And I know I have to work harder. I don't want to be on disability because legally and financially it sucks and I want to marry my boyfriend without all of the implications that go along with that. I do have genetic spinal disorders that might make me Disabled™ in 20+ years anyway so I'd rather wait lol. But I'm working on my health and I need to celebrate my wins... And grow up.. I am on waitlists for Medicaid therapists and psychiatrists but obviously I can't afford a private one. My primary care gives me Prozac which has helped me (take walks, go to the store, go to classes) but she isn't allowed to prescribe anything stronger. I would need a psychiatrist. I graduated with my associates in Paralegal December 2023 but I only have some retail stock experience. My paralegal internship in summer 2023 went awfully especially due to my anxiety. My goal would be something like stocking again (less customer interaction) before I have the confidence to work more professionally. I *really* need to work on my confidence especially if I'm working in a professional legal context. I have, like, no social skills. I am worried I may only be able to do academic work not actual work. But what if I have a panic attack at work? What do I even do? I don't want to get yelled at again. I don't even want to do any of this. Looking for a job is so hard on me mentally. Filling out applications and interviews wrecks my self esteem. I just feel so horrible about myself honestly especially being unemployed for this long over this.
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No Longer Repressing
General Support / by JarofSeeds627
Last post
 January 20th
...See more I wanted to get to a point where I didn't repress the sadness and anger I felt. And I've found poetry helpful. I can still acknowledge and be mindful of how I'm feeling, even if it's in a really dark place. Sitting with the feeling will become less frightening and overwhelming in time. When I write poetry, and it doesn't have to be anything fancy, just freeform expression. It sounds ...silly? Sometimes? To myself at least but it's something I want to continue to do. It helps me feel the extent of my feelings without using unhealthy/unhelpful coping methods and then transform the mood into something I'm proud of. Maybe I could write down a list of topics that have been in the back of my mind making me feel stressed.
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Hi!! New Christian here!
Religion & Spirituality / by JarofSeeds627
Last post
 January 20th
...See more Hello everyone! I'm new to Christianity and coming back to 7Cups after a hiatus. I've been keeping Bible studies and journals since August of last year, so I'm still very new but I want to learn more about this. I was raised atheist, always identified as agnostic-ish, and don't know anybody IRL that's Christian. My roommate actually hates it due to trauma in his childhood. :( (No, I would not push this on him of course) But I love this religion and really want to meet others with similar experiences/beliefs! A little about me: I'm an almost college graduate with agoraphobia and BPD. Exposure therapy and DBT are so important to me and have helped me grow so much. I'm currently not seeing a therapist due to wait lists for available ones, but I'm learning how to blend my spiritual life with my mental health for the better. One of the things I struggled with the most in DBT was radical acceptance. But it seems easier for me to let go of what is outside of my ability of control, thus worrying less, to be able to leave that to God now. 🤗 I'm also coming from a new age family that enjoys manifesting, law of attraction, and things like that that since stopping I've felt a big improvement in my mental health. I no longer have to be obsessive over "manifesting" everything I need - I can just accept God's plan for me. DAE have similar experiences with things like this?? I hope your new year has gone great so far. 🙏
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Scared to Leave College??
Student Support / by JarofSeeds627
Last post
 January 25th
...See more I'm almost a graduate. I technically completed everything in Winter term but my commencement is in Spring so I have to wait until then. It feels really weird not being a student anymore. I was (poorly) homeschooled (long story, tw), so I didn't really receive formal education since then until community college. I am so proud of myself for being the first person in my family to go to college and just for myself for getting past all of my homeschooling struggles like getting the GED since I didn't have a diploma.. but it's weird. I built up my identity as a student and while I intend to go back for a bachelor's/master's, I need to take a break after this associate's degree to volunteer/work on social anxiety/agoraphobia exposure more since I did take a lot of internet classes, mostly due to COVID restrictions though (also, tuition is expensive and I'm still not used to working). I'm not really sure what I need or need to hear? I just feel a bit lost and grieving at the moment.
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