Help with Explaining
Hi there. I've been diagnosed with schizotypal pd among the other mental illnesses i suffer from. I have severe anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder, and bipolar disorder. Usually people understand the anxiety and depression aspects of my mental health, but explaining the SPD has been significantly harder. I'm currently in a relationship and it causes major issues when the paranoia really kicks in and i have severe episodes. I'm distant from my partner, i make accusations that afterwards i know to be untrue, and i don't even have a social life outside of this relationship because i feel i can't trust anyone and everyone is out to sabotage me. My partner tries to be understanding but he does get really angry with me and seems like he can't see my side of things and that i never mean to do harm. My thoughts spiral out of control at the slightest hint something seems off even if it isn't. I need help and to know if anyone has any tips that i can try to help him understand why i am the way i am. I feel i don't do a good enough job with it and i don't want the tension we have almost constantly because he never knows when I'm going to snap. Its always been extremely hard for me to have a relationship and maintain it, usually because my partner does something unforgivable but also because i can't always control my thoughts and its too much for people to put up with. But i want this relationship to work and i don't want to mess it up but i don't know how to help him make sense of my condition when even i can't make sense of it at times.
@NexxyCat
Many people with Schizotypal personality disorder feel like they are different from others and "do not belong". They feel very anxious in social situations, especially unfamiliar ones.
Most simply put: it feels like a mix of very severe social anxiety and paranoia.
Source: Merck Manual (Consumer version)
I kindly thank you for reaching out, NexxyCat ;) It's such a struggle for you to explain your disorders to your partner and colleagues. But it's great that you're investing care and effort to adjust the communicate between you and your relationships! What might greatly help you with your partner is a relationship counselor who also specializes in personality disorders.
Something that helps me explain it is how familiarity doesn't help make the social anxiety go away, it often makes it get worse. I didn't know that was uncommon for the longest time; I thought it made sense because certain people closer to you are more likely to hurt you than strangers with no interest.
@plumRaspberries7829 thank you for sharing your experiences. That helps me understand better