I think I have bpd

@Truev0rtex

Hi there. 💜 Sorry that things have been so difficult. ☹️ It does sound like there's a lot going on that resonates with BPD-related themes (i.e. fear of abandonment, mood swings, loneliness, emptiness, self-judgment).

The only way to get a diagnosis of BPD would be to talk with a licensed therapist. If in-person therapy isn't an option, then possibly online therapy could be an option?

Otherwise, if you decide not to do therapy or get an official diagnosis, it might still be helpful to look at self-help resources related to BPD or talk with other people who understand what you're experiencing.
https://www.7cups.com/forum/personalitydisorders/BorderlinePersonalityDisorder_326/ResourcesforBPD_268269/
https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/?category=44

My situation is kinda complicated, I was living with those signs, cuz I was gaming most of the time and isolating myself from real world, 11 months ago the war started here in gaza, my home and my pc are gone, and I'm forced to stay around people 24/7, and now that me and my family we barely have income just to keep us alive. So I really can't afford a licensed therapist.

@Truev0rtex Being scared about losing people one loves in the middle of a war sounds like a normal reaction to me. Just as being on your heels and stressed out, if you were used to having your privacy and now are around others all the time.

Circumstances can make us humans behave as if we had a mental illness, and your circumstances seem really bad currently.

I know saying this won't really help, but I hope things will get better for you, that politicians will be able to make peace soon. It's sad how people are treating each other, hurting each other so much. This should not be happening to anyone.

@cloudysummer I've had this feelings way before the war starts, I was feeling distance from everyone, I only go out with family, friends after I promise them like 10 times, and as soon as I get there I feel like I wanna go home, same for the attachment issue was there as well but it was with people I met online through games.

And now all of my friends left me so I don't have that feeling cuz they lefg already yk. Just Loneliness and Emptiness.

@Truev0rtex Yes, sorry, I realized that after I saw Magic's reply below. Wishing you the best!

@Truev0rtex

That does sound like a challenging situation. Makes sense that any kind of licensed therapist (whether online or in-person) wouldn't be an option right now.

If therapy isn't possible, then possibly you could explore free self-help resources related to BPD. Many of the concepts/skills that are typically covered there (e.g. emotion regulation, mindfulness, acceptance, self-compassion, navigating relationships) can be helpful for anyone with BPD-related experiences, with or without a diagnosis.
https://dbtselfhelp.com/dbt-skills-list/

@ quietmagic

I appreciate u 🤍