how to explain bpd(any mentall illness) to those who don't get it

are you talking about bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder?

Borderline

Borderline is one form of the bipolars

@Ailim I know this post is old, but no, it is not. Although similar in symptoms, Borderline and Bipolar have very different root causes and outcomes. Bipolar is believed to be caused by chemical imbalances in the brain, that can be corrected with medication so one can live a happy, fulfilling life. Borderline, on the other hand, is a complex set of dysfunctional behaviors that are rooted in a person's upbringing, and the solution is equally complex. A person with Borderline usually needs to undergo long term therapy to learn better ways of interacting with the world, although they may use medication in the short term to help them better cope. The two disorders are really quite different.

@greenberry3

Well said.

Hi lilbun! I Mental illness is not an easy topic for everyone, and it might seem like nobody understands what you are going through. At the same time, you might feel like you are not able to express yourself and help your family or partner understand what you are experiencing. There are few things that you can try doing:

- Of course, the first thing I would recommend is talking to your therapist about this. They might suggest to bring the person close to you to a therapy session, so that you can talk to them in a different, controled environment.

If that is not an option for whatever reason, you cantry to

- Write an honestletter, or an email to that person. When you have enough time, and there is no pressure, you can really think through what you want to share, and how exactly you want to phrase it. Also, there is enough time for them too, to think about what you are saying before they answer. It can be a good way to prevent a fight.

- Look into some books, online resources etc. and share those parts that you think might explain what you feel better than you could.There are many self help guides both online and offlinefor loved ones and family members of people suffering from BDP. The first books that come to my mind areWalking on Eggshells, BDP for Dummies, Sometimes I Act Crazy.Also, internet is your friend, wheather you use Google,Youtube, Reddit,Tumblr,or a blog of a person suffering from BDP, you can access many usefull information, both professional and from sufferers,onhow to explain what you are going through.Sometimes, other people are better at putting feelings and thoughts into words than we are, but that doesn't change the fact that what you experience can be really similar, if not the same. Here is one example, but I am sure you will find many more!http://borderlinelife.tripod.com/what-is-it-like-to-have-bpd.html

Wheather you decide to talk or give a letter or share some other resource you found,try to do it in a comfortable environment, when you and the other person both have enough time and do not feel pressured into something you do not feel ready for.

An additional resource for your loved ones is "I Hate You Don't Leave Me". This book beautifully illustrates the pain and clinical validity of Borderline. I will return with a link to the source. ♡

@lilbun, I know how youre feeling, I have had the same experience. I have tried to tell someone about it and told them to read an explanation of what its like and I was told, I want you to tell me. I wasnt keeping my own thoughts straight at the time, so I was having a hard time trying. Most people, who havent experienced a mental disorder , have hard time understanding why you cant smile, or just snap out of it. I pray you friends understand , but if they cant seem to, dont beat yourself up over it.

So true... Don't beat yourself up, cause it isn't your fault.

First of all, I applaud you! I think this is such a difficult topic and one people across the globe are trying to shake the stigma off of. Unfortunately, it wont happen over night and the reactions of our friends, family, and peers will remain variable. Please know your efforts are worth it, although I know this piled on top of the daily symptoms you are living with can feel extremely overwhelming. Particularly when you feel alone with something that lists a primary symptom related to fears of abandonment. I have Borderline myself, among a few other things. I was hospitalized when I was fifteen and ten years later I would say mood instability is still my biggest challenge. My entire life I've been told I'm "too sensitive". Try to be patient with your loved one and continue to advocate for yourself. I hope you have an excellent therapist as this truly makes all the difference. It is not unusual for therapists to struggle to treat BPD cases due to their very specific and often difficult set of symptoms. You are not alone. You are worth the good fight. You have love in your life. It will get better. Most of Borderline Personality Disorder is comprised of behavior and therefore remains something that can be deeply worked on and remedied in one's life. I wish you all the very best. Please remember there are Listeners here 24 hours a day! <3

writing it out can be helpful since you don't feel as much pressure to work it out quickly.

I tell those that don't know that it's like an ice cube that's on fire or the sun comes out at night and the moon during the day how I able to intensely love and go numb at the same time well at least that's what BPD feels like to me ... It's is nothing like bipolar at all because with BPD you feel a combo of feelings all at the same time .. With bipolar it's one at a time going from one extreme to the other but never together like borderline is ...( hope that helps)...

Strawberries, Thank you for sharing! I just wanted to clarify that it is possible to feel more than one state simultaneously in Bi-Polar Disorder. It is known as a "mixed state" and remains one of the more serious symptoms. Additionally, I Am a rapid cycler which means I can alternate from one state, to another, back again, and to a third all in one day. They are not dissimilar in terms of intensity. Borderline also exhibits extreme mood instability and--most difficult for me--irrational rage or irritability. Similarly, dual diagnosis, or comorbidity, is common. That is, it is possible and fairly common to have more than one diagnosis at the same time. Most addicts, for example, often have underlying mental health issues they are self-medicating. I hope this has helped provide some clarity. ♡ Borderline and Bi-Polar Disorder are, in fact, more alike than dissimilar.

As always people have their opinions .. I'm also a rapid cycled too who can't take meds because they make me suicidal .. And according to my shrinks bipolar is diffrentfrom BPD ... I am currently reading BPD for dummies and it's also says the same in the book but of course everybody is diffrentinside and if you feel your BPD is like being bipolar than so be it .. But in my opinion I feel the change inside of me all the time ...

@Strawberries,

Of course they're different. That is not a matter of opinion. I simply insisted they were similar and shared reasons why. I am have both Borderline Personality and Bi-Polar type II. No harm intended.

Strawberries, I also want you to know I absolutely love your use of metaphors here. They are spot on when describing mental illness. Have a beautiful day.

There is no way to describe it to someone who doesn't understand. I've tried several times. I find articles, linkzls, books, etc but it's not the same. Some people just don't want to understand or they have an issue too and don't want or aren't capable of dealing with yours too. I know this all too well. Good luck to you!

Here is the link for I Hate You- Don't Leave Me

This is an exceptional read and very informative for loved ones who are struggling to understand BPD. It is controversial, as are most medical publications pertaining to mental health, though it remains a sound source. Additionally, when you scroll down to similar titles you will also see Sometimes I Act Crazy-Living with Borderline Personality Disorder. This title has helped me gain personal insight as well. I hope this helps.

It's quite simple. It's like having two people inside you. One is manic and implusive, the other is depressed and agonizing. It's not fun, but if your friends can't understnad that you are buried in the disorder, it's a reflection on them, not you.