Questioning your emotions

@Sweetteaa This post is so incredibly helpful. You've put in to words what I have been failing to explain for ages. I often talk about how I never have validation for my emotions and the way you put it is so clear and concise!

Hello;

I also suffer from BPD and feel very similar constantly. I am habitually analyzing my thoughts and emotions against how others perceive me. I try to determine what are rational emotions verses what are not. Yet I still feel guilty not knowing how others really feel.

I am seeing a therapist (just started) and he is trying to help me identify what the emotion is that I am feeling, how it made me react, and if it was a rational or irrational approach. So for example, today I feel empty because I am recently unemployed and all of my friends and peers are employed and doing great financially and in their relationships. I suppose if I look at the words I used such as "all" of my friends, I need to step back and realize that not everyone else has it easy, it cannot be that black and white.

Mad you can see these thoughts and analysis are overwhelming and ever present. I think sometimes the diagnosis and label itself perpetuates my thoughts.

@Sspar213

I really love how well you explained this. Thank you so much for sharing, I really appreciate your supportive message!

@sweetteaa

Thank you for sharing this. I think invalidation is a huge trigger for those of us prone to the BPD temper and questioning our own emotional balance. My whole life I was told I was "too sensitive". One of the things I'm working on in therapy right now is differentiating between what is truly taking place in my life and how much of my perception is impacted by my disordered thinking. I also have dabs of paranoia to deal with which doesn't make it any easier. While some things do warrant an emotional outburst, emotional dysregulation is one of our greatest hurdles in the BPD community.

I will let you know what I learn along the way. In the meantime, any exercise you can utilize to ground yourself during emotional responses is useful. Here is a list on strategies you can use to ground yourself during both a metaphorical and physical winter.

"Ground Yourself

What does it mean to ground yourself? Take any winter season, literal or emotional. Storms are swirling, more bad news or weather is on the way. Another fresh layer of ice or snow is promised at sunrise. What do you do? Put all the doing aside for a few minutes, be kind and gentle with yourself, then…

Get quiet. Get still. Close your eyes. Follow your every breath and with each breath, begin to imagine that a vibrant color red is surrounding the base of your spine and radiating down to your legs and feet. Imagine that this red light extends from your feet all the way to the very center of the earth. Imagine that your feet are immersed in earth as rich as red Georgia dirt. Imagine what it feels like to be barefoot in spring or summer with the ground supporting your feet.

When youre not quiet or still and must be engaged in the busyness of being busy you can still do what you can to ground yourself. Surround yourself with physical tangible items that are red in color. Wear red socks, red sandals, red underwear, red jewelry, red clothing, write with a red pen, sleep with red sheets or a red pillowcase. Surrounding yourself with the color red will help you become aware of your constant connection to the Earth.

There are other things you can do to help ground yourself during winter seasons. Here are a few that Ive tried that will hopefully get you thinking of something you can do for yourself.

Color – there are lots of adult coloring books available out there, particularly with nature scenes. Buy a coloring book and markers and spend an afternoon coloring.

Look at nature scenes that are pleasing to the eye. Print them out if you have to and put them on your bathroom mirror.

Meditate – find a quiet space, close your eyes and become still. Just letting go of all of the emotional thoughts that bombard you can help. If silence is too much to start with, try some guided meditations. Oprah and Deepak Chopra offer free guided meditation series every 6 weeks or so.

Practice Yoga – try the Mountain Pose for starters.

Take a shower.

Listen to nature sounds like the ocean, or the forest with birds. There are some free mp3s on Amazon that are worth a try.

Buy seeds and plant flowers. You can do this indoors if its cold out or you can get outside and get down on your knees. Put your hands in the Earth. Honor your connection to all living things and your own innate mother nature.

Do something for someone else. Remembering in the midst of your storms that youre still connected to every living person keeps you open instead of stuck in your own loathing.

Go for a walk outside.

Take a nap. Winter seasons are exhausting! Be kind to yourself and rest. Even better if you have the luxury of a nap next to a window that receives full sunshine.

Hug a tree.

Lastly, trust and believe that after every winter season comes spring."

Hope this helps.

Visit the Source: "Run Like Child: My Writing Journey in the Twin Cities, Grounding Yourself: How to Survive a Winter Season"

@blitheSun94 so much information thank you so much for taking the time to share that with me!!

@Sweetteaa

Glad to.