Is this related? What is this?
Hi.. So I've been dealing with Borderline Personality disorder for a while and am becoming more aware of struggles I'm dealing with and am not sure if they are related or even what they are at all. So for example, earlier tonight I was at a party and I felt really withdrawn and felt like I was watching a movie and I wasn't in it. I wasn't watching myself as if I was dissociating though. I have weird experiences and thoughts like that often. I just feel like I look at the world through really different eyes. I also cannot seem to shake the urge to want to sleep with whatever guy I come across. I've been down that road before and its never pleasant but I keep wanting to go back. And I want to drink often but have already gotten a DUI so i can't. When I "live life by the rules" i guess you could say I feel really confined and bored like I'm not being myself which triggers all the urges. Life externally is going amazing for me right now but I still have really intense urges including the ones above and self harm and suicide... I guess I'm just really confused as to why this keeps happening! I have all the skills and use them and they don't help right now. It gets to the point where it almost isn't possible to use skills. I'm just so sick of this pattern. Does anyone have any suggestions, thoughts, connections in all this? ....Thanks for responding in advance!