Growing to hate people I used to love? Result of BPD?
So I have quite a few online friends and slowly over time since I've met them I've found myself growing further and further and feeling excluded and like less of part of the group. Even though we all have the same common interests, I'm starting to hate a good majority of them, feel like they're petty and dramatic, that they're oversensitive and trying to start stuff for the sake of starting stuff. And no one else really sees this or agrees - except my dad but he despises everyone - and I'm not sure if this detachment from my friends and evolving distaste for them is a result of my BPD or something else (considering I share my fathers general dislike of the majority of human beings.) Has anyone else experienced stuff like this? It's not even like I want to like them and cant, it's that I want them all out of my life at this point except for one or two of them and don't care to ever like them again.
(on a contrary yet BPD related note, I find at the same time that I can quickly shift from hating people to loving them in a series of seconds on the basis of one sentence or one action and then a few minutes later flip flop again. It's like a constant relationship roller coaster and I hate how suggestible I feel about stuff like this considering most of the time I stick to my guns and never away my beliefs.)
I don't have BPD but I've absolutely experienced this. It's a normal part of life, sometimes you just have a group and then no matter how close you are, life takes you in different ways. Some people mature better than others, some people just never grow up. it sounds to me like you're just maturing in a different way than they are and you just don't need them in your life.
However, given with the second part of your post you might want to ask a professional if you feel like your BPD might be interfering with your ability to make and keep friendships. People can do annoying things but that shouldn't make you immediately hate them.
@Sastiel
" (on a contrary yet BPD related note, I find at the same time that I can quickly shift from hating people to loving them in a series of seconds on the basis of one sentence or one action and then a few minutes later flip flop again. It's like a constant relationship roller coaster and I hate how suggestible I feel about stuff like this considering most of the time I stick to my guns and never away my beliefs.) "
I would say this is ^ a perfect example of the black and white thinking and chameleon like complex we have in social settings at the hands of BPD. As for your general distaste for the human race, I can relate to some degree. My own father is a misanthrope and while I have adhered to some of these patterns of thinking, in general I am open and along for the ride that is human connectedness. I think, in my father's case- and not too far from mine- it stems from a great deal of let down and hurt at the hands of others.
I am of the opinion that while a great deal of this comes from varied personal experiences, I think it also comes from an age of information and technology. Not only are we increasingly desensitized by this, but we now have access to more information than ever before which can be very discouraging. News headlines is one example of this on a societal level. Many people feel like we are in a more dangerous society, when in fact we are safer than ever before. It is this constant access to information- rape, muder, suicide, firearms, government etc.- that causes this distress.
Very interesting topic. Thanks for sharing!
