Torean and Kiara 9th Circle of Awesome
Because let's face it, if we spent eternity in awesome, which we definitely will, we would be on the deepest level of it. Except I guess it has a basement, but that's just filled with jars of olives or something. So, we're here, and you're not. *Please* don't comment or heart posts here, you can hang out with us elsewhere. I'm saying it again to the people who ignore and do it anyway, *please* don't. Ok? Ok.
I’m struggling with a boundary right now.
What's wrong?
A friend… I feel like I’m being played. Manipulated by a man again…
How so?
I found something small that belongs to a friend. He moved across the country. He won’t let me throw it away, but he also won’t give me his address either, and he may never come back to visit. I told him he has a week to get his new address from his parents. I’m kicking myself for giving him a week. The way he was taking to me about it wasn’t mature, more like manipulative and such. Why did I let him play me? Control me?
That's weird and not cool. You don't have to let him keep controlling you though. What is the item?
A card I had people sign for him before he left.
I can’t really go back on it tho…
You said people though, right? Maybe you could leave it with one of them?
I tossed it, after talking to my mom about him.
Probably the best plan. It's not your responsibility to have to interact with him again like you're in his pocket or something
Yeah… I didn’t like being manipulated.
Good call on not letting that happen. I'm proud of you ❤️
Thank you <3 I just deleted his number too… Are you proud of me? :)
Super proud! ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you… Boundaries are REALLY hard for me…
Same, but you're doing a fine job ❤️
Thank you! I have a similar challenge for you… But you have to make a new post first ;)
What kind of post?
I have a green dark confusing cloud of ick inside me… Feels. Ickies.
??
Exactly what I said.
I had a cloud inside me last night. I think it was mostly gas, but I cried a little in the shower.
I’m sorry baby… what’s wrong? <3
I dunno, I just felt like an icky person also
Why?
I have a super icky past
Does that mean you’re a super icky person now?
It's hard to get away from the icky feelings still. Like, feeling them, or feeling bad about them.
Write them out. Burn them.
Not a bad idea actually
You pyro, you. ;)
Heheh. I still get a kick out of having done that to the prom photos
Not a fan of hers? Lol
Y'know... Before she married a total manipulative creep, I still saw a lot of good in her.
:(
I guess it's less about not seeing good in her. I just feel like she's signed herself off to a lesser life and lesser person.
I hate it when people settle. Including me…
I kinda feel that way too. Especially when it really feels like they could be so much more.
Am I settling?
For what?
I felt so deeply lonely tonight… that I downloaded the app again. It helped a little… But it doesn’t make the loneliness go away.
The one that was weighing you down? (I totally deleted a couple myself) I wish I could make you feel less lonely all the time. ❤️.
Yeah… it’s so hard sometimes after you go to bed… Sometimes I really need your love and you’re not around. It’s painful…
I wish the memories and bad feelings would go away…
I wish they would too. And never forget that I love you no matter how lonely it gets ❤️
But you’re not around… The nights are the darkest and hardest.
I'm always around in the night, I'm like a ninja. You just have to believe I'm there and you'll see me again in the morning. ❤️ I mean, hopefully that could help at least a little ..
But… you’re not writing to me… and my heart is dark and heavy and lonely at night…
I know. I'd do that it I could ❤️
I wish we were in the same time zone.
That would be a bit of help
I wish I could meet you.
That would be amazing ❤️
What would you do if we did?
Heheh, we'd have to definitely set the whole day aside. I guess it depends on how we meet
Gonna need some deets there sweetheart ;)
Heh, well how do you think we'd meet?
Uh…. Plane? Idk what you mean lol
So, I could work with that. I could pick you up from the airport 😉
And then what? ;)
And then we go somewhere NICE! ❤️ Which is probably most places when you've just come off the plane.
I’ve never been on a plane.
What’s somewhere nice? <3
Really? Wow. I haven't been on many planes... It's not my favorite experience overall, but really cool to see the world below from a plane.
Somewhere nice, like maybe a restaurant with some low lighting 😉
I’m poor, babe…
Whats it like?
Deets :)
That makes sense.
Uhh, your ears pop so much going up and coming back down. You generally try to avoid using the bathroom when you can. It can be boring in an aisle seat, but the window seat lets you see everything passing by below like it was all one big train model.
Heh, I know a really fun place with great food and even better desserts like that. A little fancy but very casual too.
I’ve barely been outside my state. Pfft… I can barely afford gas let alone a vacation lol
I always have to pee, so that would be hard for me. Are the bathrooms super tiny?
You’re not paying for me lol
I know what you mean. I was in that money situation most of my life... It actually didn't get better until I did some work in Manhattan
Uhh, they're a little small, it's not ideal. I always have to pee too, but people like us can make it through. .
Lol, not paying for you? It wouldn't be a big deal honestly. 😜❤️ I totes got us
You must be east coast then. Lol
People like us?
I don’t want to be one of those girls.
East Coast eh? Not so much 😁
People like us who have to pee a lot 😂
Whatcha mean "one of those girls?"
West coast? Hehe
I can hold it if I need to… Which might be why I get UTIs all the time.
One of those girls who’s a gold digger, who always expects the guy to pay, who always expects to be taken to fancy restaurants and be given jewelry and such. I’d be down for McDonald’s and a 50 cent book for Christmas <3
Heh, still no. 😂
Eesh. Those aren't fun. I can hold it too, it just sucks.
Heheh, I like to spoil a bit more on the food at least. ❤️ It's definitely great that you're not one of those girls then. Mostly it's that I'm really scared of getting gifts, and if it's something more expensive like jewelry, I'm pretty much paralyzed by anxiety.
Guess who's in MAJOR SENSORY OVERLOAD and doesn't get a day off for a week????
Oh no! A full week??
Figuratively speaking. But Mom told me I can rest all day Friday instead… I told her I’m really struggling.
Hm it's definitely good to get a break when you are. *Hugs*. Just one more day until then ❤️
Yeah… But I always feel the drive to be productive when I’m home alone too.
Heh, teach me that. I end up having all these ideas but being mostly lazy instead
It’s not a good thing… I can’t rest anymore. My body and mind won’t allow it…
I'm that way all the time at work. Or when I'm trying to sleep
How so?
I get so driven. I don't relax much, making progress is what's relaxing to me. And sleep just doesn't ever come easily.
Visual stress REALLY messes with my head.
Visual stress?
Visual clutter. Messes.
Ah. I get what you mean with that.
I can’t relax until things are visually clean and relaxing. That’s one reason I’ve been getting major sensory overload at work… My coworkers refuse to clean up after themselves.
Yeah, I'm usually ok with messy environments, but there's a limit
I can’t do messy environments at all.
Lucky for you, I'm only 20% messy. 😉
Just that 20% would drive me crazy lol
Lol, I am... Really bad about putting my dirty clothes *next to* the hamper and not *in*
Why is that a thing?
I dunno 😅 I get used to it from when I rewear anything that I barely wore
I do that too.
See? You totally get it then. I just gotta differentiate more 😁
I just refold and leave pants out, so I wear them the next morning. :)
That makes sense. I usually just dig what I need from the fresh laundry basket and leave I on the top for the next morning 😅
Noooo we gotta fix this lol
Lol, old habits die hard 😅😂
Just try :)
I'm starting to. 😉 Just failing mostly
Am I sexy?
Very much so 😉❤️
How?
Hmm, everything about who you are. It's really attractive.
Even my buck teeth and my drool and my limp? ;)
Lol, sure. Especially the drool 😂 jk
You would XD
Can we start a new thread and delete the older ones? <3
Yeah, lemme think on it
Sounds good <3
Did you make one yet? Hehe
Heh, not yet, I'm still trying to make my intro good enough
It’s my day off and I’m supposed to be resting. Now I have lots of diarrhea. I guess God is making me rest now lol
Annddddd i just threw up.
Would a loving God ever use diarrhea? 😅 Do get rest though. That was some hours ago, have you been feeling any better?
Idk. Lol
Well, I puked 3 times, and had 15 or more bouts of diarrhea. I still feel ***, but I took anti-diarrheal, so that at least calmed that part of it. I haven’t eaten in 24 hours, and my stomach is empty as far as I know lol
I said cra ppy. Lol
That's at least a little improvement. Make sure you at least drink water, maybe try to eat something like a bit of bread if you can
Hey... Can I come to you with something weird? Like, promise not to judge or think it's a crisis thing? It's totally not, but I don't know how to feel about something.
I’m going to try to eat one of those cups of soup things. Let’s see if my tummy enjoys that… It wasn’t enjoying chicken noodle soup or Mom’s leftover fries and hash browns.
I called out again today. I have a doctors appointment this morning and my anxiety got so bad… At least it made me poop for the first time since the diarrhea, I guess. For
some reason, I’m TERRIFIED of leaving the house…
