Reconnecting
Hi @helgyafy @tinywhisper11 @mytwistedsoul
I hope you don’t mind me creating this thread. I’m sorry, I haven’t been online lately and I couldn’t find where we’ve chatted before. I think of you all often and the kindness you’ve shown me, and I wonder how you’re doing. I really hope you’ve been well. I’m sending you prayers. Please pray for or think of me too when you have a moment. Please let me know how you’ve been.
❤️
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas
@Tinywhisper11 this is me and @mytwistedsoul 😁😁😁😁 guess which kitty is soul😁😁😁😁
@Tinywhisper11 Gonna make me pull out my mad skillz 😁
@mytwistedsoul 😂😂😂😂😂
@mytwistedsoul
HA HA OMG, HAHA. I love it🤣🤣🤣
@WorkingitThrough2 The kitten had style and grace. Until he rolled off the bed and onto his face. You know his return attack was epic! 😂
I was just thinking about you earlier. ❤️ How are you? Has your husband's surgery been rescheduled?
@Tinywhisper11 The Orange-ish cat looks a little like mine. He’s a flamepoint Siamese. He’s got the best personality ever. Someone just dropped him off at the end of my road when he was a baby. 😮 I didn’t know when I moved here but apparently a lot of people drop unwanted pets off here. He came around my house one day and I just started feeding him, and he stayed. Now he’s neutered and an indoor/outdoor cat and he seems to love it. He of the snuggliest cat. He even plays with one of my dogs.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas awwwww their all so cute and fluffy 😍 I'm glad you rescued the kitty ❤
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas They all look so sweet together! 😊
@mytwistedsoul @TinyWhisper11 Thank you ❤️
In case I confuse everyone, I wanted to update that I requested the picture I posted be deleted. I realized afterward that it would make me recognizable to certain people, and I was up last night worrying about it. I’m glad you got to see them beforehand though! 😊
@Tinywhisper11 @mytwistedsoul Sorry, but I’m just so glad you’re back Twist. These little interactions make me smile so. 🥰
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas Thank you 💜 It's nice to be back
I want to tell all of you how much your interaction with me has meant. I live where I have no adult relationships in my community, Everyone just waves and keeps going the phone is my only means of true conversation. My husband stays in his room and has very little to say or no interactions at all. We pass each other down the hallway and speak but that is pretty much it.
So my relationship with each of you has meant the world and it helps me keep my sanity.🤣My crafts are my next go-to self-care, Each of you holds a special place in my heart. Love you all💕
@WorkingitThrough2 Your message filled my heart. We have so much in common, and I feel the same way about you all here. I’m so happy that you hang out with us here and that it helps you too. That was my wish for this space! 😭🥰
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas
Here is the new dollhouse I am working on😊I am making everything myself out of cardboard boxes.
@WorkingitThrough2 awwwwww that's to cute😍😍 you really are amazing
@WorkingitThrough2
@WorkingitThrough2 😮😮😮 Look at all the detail on the front door!! And the little bricks around the bottoms of the columns! Have you ever thought about selling them? Beautiful architectural styles.
@WorkingitThrough2 😥 awwww honey life is not an easy thing🙁 but I love you and I'm always here for you ❤❤ you hold a very special place in my heart too ❤❤ know let's hug
@WorkingitThrough2
sorry t won't play. Maybe I will send the words later😂
@WorkingitThrough2 I just had to click on the screen and it took me to YouTube. @Tinywhisper11 doesn't use YouTube (if I'm remembering correctly) so I'm just going to put the title and artist ❤️
Dionne Warwick - That's what friends are for 😊
@mytwistedsoul thanks soul ❤
@Tinywhisper11 You're welcome ❤️ I hope you don't mind that I spoke for you. I figure with the title you can listen to it on Spotify or whatever you use 😊
@mytwistedsoul you can always speak for me ❤❤I love you ❤
@mytwistedsoul
Thanks so much. I remembered that she does not use YouTube but I thought I could embed the song so all of you could hear it. My error😂old folks and new technology🤣🤣🤣🤣
@WorkingitThrough2 Lots of love to you ❤️ I am grateful to have gotten to know you and to have you as a friend! 😊
@mytwistedsoul
Hold Up!!
You are my Brother from another Mother🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣Accept this fact, you can't get rid of me😂
@WorkingitThrough2 You are one of my dearest friends! ❤️ I would never want to get rid of you! 😊❤️
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas @mytwistedsoul what's going on? Are you ok??? Like really ok!?? I know something is up😕 I worry about you. Hugs you tightly ❤
@Tinywhisper11 (gentle hugs) ❤️ Nothing to worry about. Just quiet and dealing with some pain. 😅
@mytwistedsoul Oh Twist I wish you weren’t in pain. I’m thinking you mean chronic pain? I have been feeling that quiet thing too. Sometimes I need it, but sometimes it’s that feeling like I shouldn’t talk for whatever reason my mind comes up with that day. If it crosses your mind that you might like to let anything out, we’re here and want to hear. ❤️
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas Yes it's chronic pain.... that I aggravate by doing work that I shouldn't. 😅 The quiet thing gets frustrating at times doesn't it? I'm sorry that you deal with this too. I hope you know that we're all here to listen to you too, but there's never any pressure 💜
@mytwistedsoul I hope you can find a good balance with all that work you do so it won’t be so hard on your body. I suspect the time of year can make it worse.
I saw your very powerful poem on your thread. It took me to so many places. You’re a talented writer. That is a good way to get things out and combat the quiet.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas Thank you :) I've been trying to find a balance for quite awhile now but just haven't found it yet. You are right though that the time of year does make it worse.
@mytwistedsoul Hey! ❤️ I don’t mind at all. Thank you for caring enough to want to say it. 😊
Part of me thinks about those possibilities. I’ll try to talk with people sometimes about where I think the communication breakdown is on both sides. I’ll try to put myself in their shoes and imagine different ways my words could sound, or considerations like if they’re tired or had a hard day at work. I wonder if maybe there are times people lack insight into what’s going on at their end, and so they’ll dig their heels in and insist that there’s only one way to interpret, that they’re right, and I’m wrong. So it’s like after I try that with negative results, my mind naturally goes back to thinking about what I need to change to stop it from happening again. Because I’ve realized I have no influence on them. In a way I think it’s good that I mostly focus on what I need to do, I don’t really want to change anyone that much. But I know any relationship takes two to win or fail, and putting it all on myself is unrealistic. I end up trying to change all the time to accommodate their stubbornness, instead of having some acceptance of who I am as being good enough the way I am. Hence the name I choose on 7 Cups now I think of it!
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas Unfortunately, there are times that no matter what we say or do, it doesn't lead to mutual understanding or change on the part of the other person. Everyone sees things differently. They may process things differently. Sometimes people want resolution right away but that might not be possible right at that moment. (Think of an argument you may have had at one time that left you speechless at the time. Maybe it wasn't until later when you felt calmer that everything you should have said came to mind)
@mytwistedsoul hugs soul ❤ I'll help you with that pain
@Tinywhisper11 Thank you 😊 I have one of those massage gu.ns but it doesn't make my leg shake like the doggos 😂
@mytwistedsoul awwwww 😂😂😂😂😂 don't worry nothing makes my legs shake😂😂😂
@Tinywhisper11
@mytwistedsoul 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 that's right I win😁😁😁😁😁
@Tinywhisper11 That was literally the face I made earlier 😅 😂
@mytwistedsoul 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@mytwistedsoul
I am so sorry you are having pain, I pray you get to feeling better real soon. This is the first time I have heard of you feeling bad. My prayers are with you and we are all here for you any time🙏
@Tinywhisper11 I am gladly accepting that hug and giving one back to you. You are the sweetest heart. Thank you. ❤️ I wonder if I sent out some brain waves you picked up on. 😅
I’m having moments. Sometimes I’m ok and can joke around. I also have moments where I think everything’s going to be ok and even look forward to some things. The last few days I got really depressed. My depression has been different lately. It always used to be sadness about things that people were doing to me. Now it’s more about decisions I’ve made that I can’t really come back from. It helps to think there’s good that will come from it all, that it’s happened for a reason. Luckily these bouts haven’t lasted very long. They come and go, because sometimes the guilt feels unbearable and so I’m always seeking out positive distractions. So then I’ll be ok for a while, but then I might be out in public and without even thinking about anything bad I suddenly start sobbing uncontrollably. It’s been embarrassing. 😝 Right now I’m doing fine and having a good day.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas
I love your User name, It tells a lot of hurt and fragmented parts have been disrupted. I understand just what you are saying. Our journey is a day-to-day one. Each day is filled with unknowns. I am so proud that you are still looking for the good and evaluating the past. Victories and failures. Life is an uphill battle but it is not ours to have to fight alone. We all get it we all understand and you are in a good space to just be you and no one here judges us or condemns us. You are our friend and we all care about one another.
Yal are my family from another mother😂and I love you deeply❤️ You all are the family I never had but wish I did.
@WorkingitThrough2 we are all family now ❤❤
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas everything happens for a reason ❤ on the bad days try to remember you are extremely brave for all you went through, and having the courage to move past it ❤ everything is gonna be ok now ❤
@WorkingitThrough2 I have thought the same thing about you all being the kind of family I wish I had here present with me. I’ve never had these kind of conversations with people. I’ve tried but it usually causes some sort of fight or misunderstanding. Even recently, I tried telling someone what I thought would be good news, and they thought I was complaining and got angry with me in return. I was so confused and just got quiet thinking. It’s painfully clear to me that I have a way of processing that is unusual and confusing to many people. I’ll stop there with the story, because my mind goes so many depressing places from there that I need to stop myself from thinking about myself.
Thank you for being here and being so wonderful. I really appreciate what you shared.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas yep I went to see joshua yesterday 😁 not for long because it's freezing out, but I visit him as often as I can😁 my pain levels are back to normal, they always start quite low in the morning, then get worse and worse as the day goes on. Till I can't take the pain anymore then I take lots of tablets and go to bed😁❤
@Tinywhisper11
@BlueDarkAurora ❤❤
@Tinywhisper11 I’m glad the weather hasn’t been preventing your visits too much. ❤️
I wish I could take some of your pain.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas ❤ thankyou ❤
@Tinywhisper11 Thought I'd drop a picture of a recent visitor. Maybe bring you a smile
Isn't she pretty?
@mytwistedsoul this did make me smile😁 thanks soul ❤❤ she is so pretty😍 you got really close to her! You live in a truly magical place ❤ I'm still planning on moving in😁
@Tinywhisper11 I'll get the guest room ready for you ❤️ I was in the little barn where I keep feed. She knows I'll put corn or oats out if she's out there 😊 One day I'm hoping she'll let me pet her ❤️
@mytwistedsoul awwww I really hope she does, she seems to trust you ❤❤ your so sweet ❤
@mytwistedsoul She really let you get close to her! That’s so cool.
@mytwistedsoul I saw my post ended up long, so I’m replying down here. Your insights are very good, thank you! Perspectives and reasons for struggling to admit our part are a lot of it I think. Each person is so different. I’m very comfortable apologizing and thinking/talking through where I’ve gone wrong. I don’t always understand when the person I’m talking to can’t or won’t do that too. I was thinking recently that maybe I can be judgmental in this way. I felt like if I could learn it anyone can, but maybe my particular personality is primed for it and others minds just don’t connect the dots the same way. They think about other things much more clearly than I do.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas Nobody has endless supply of empathy, kindness and compassion. They can and do run out. Those moments when we are empty are real eye openers tho, they are the moments where we realise we've given too much of ourself and now we have no blueprint of how to construct us again.
I always have this thought that would I gasp in horror if I get to look at my grief and the pain that I'm going through from someone else's point of view. It sucks when things that are not normal become our normal. I've never been a confrontational person and I still shake like a leaf if I ever need to stand up for myself. At first I thought it was from rage but it's just my fear, the fear that I will have to participate in some hurtful exchange that will forever be stuck with me. Plus healing from such incidents is exhausting.
Blueprint or not, the essence of us is always there and when everything is calm we can get a sense of ourself again. All our values, our strength all of it is something that comes from within, something we cultivated. But it's hard work xD so the brain cultivates guilt to have us not do the chore.
I wish the negative people were attracted to each other and stayed on their side of the world but I guess the universe doesn't like seperating all the beads by colour and all we can do is try not to let them bleed on our pretty shade. Maybe hopefully someday we'll get to be a part of some beautiful monochromatic bracelet *-* hehe
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas I think that you're right when you said that other's minds don't connect the dots the same way. There are things that some people can pick up quickly but other's might struggle with grasping it. Apologizing and admitting wrong doings are skills that need to be learned. Just like any other skill it needs to be practiced.
@mytwistedsoul @BlueDarkAurora
Thank you both for talking with me. These conversations make me feel so much less odd. ( Still a little odd, but I’m wearing it proudly! 😊 )
Aurora- “It sucks when things that are not normal become our normal.” This is so profound. It’s sad, but I wonder if I meet a friend who’s completely nice, will my mind be like 🤨 “What’s your angle?”
I was thinking about how to rebuild myself, and all the things I want to do are what I enjoyed when I was younger. That’s where I’m going to start.
When you have those glimpses where you imagine being someone else looking in horror at what you’re going through, does it help in being nicer to yourself?
Twist- Those are some good questions. How he sees himself, it’s hard to know exactly. I think that in general, most people see it as a good thing to be flexible and easy going, and I noticed he labeled himself as whatever sounds good to say. I think it makes him feel good about himself to think he’s that way. However, he had admitted to having major problems with impatience, so I think maybe on some level he knows he’s not that laid back. I think if he says it, he thinks that makes it true or believable. His mom told me he can be very manipulative. His daughters and niece have accused him of gaslighting and being a narcissist. His sister tells stories of how he bullied her growing up. These things are complicated, because they love him a lot at the same time. He does a lot for them. He can be like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. He’d do such wonderful things until you catch him at the wrong time, if he’s irritated or inconvenienced. There were times at the end of a bad fight where I felt like I’d get a glimpse behind the mask. He seemed to get depressed and said that the only reason everyone else praises him so much is because they don’t have to live with him every day like me. I always thought I could connect to the him behind the mask, but the next morning he’d deny it all again.
I have definitely been thinking about redoing some trips. I have some new ideas too if I can make it work. This is one of the things that helps me think positive even when I’m feeling down about everything. What things help you feel like that?
Yes! Why is it harder to have boundaries around people we care about? It almost doesn’t make sense, but it does because we just want to relax with them. You’re right, they have to be started from the beginning, otherwise the other person thinks we’ve suddenly changed. I think I’ve failed this every time because when meeting new people, I want to make a good impression, to be nice and understanding. So a lot of times the other person probably thinks “Awesome, she likes all the same things I do!” 😅
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas I think boundaries are harder with people we care about, because we care about them. We want to make them happy and we worry that if we say no, we're risking the relationship and they'll reject us.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas You're unique :) I feel like everyone with a heart is unique xD All the others are kinda the same.. well atleast the pain they cause helps us feel connected to each other in this world.
I hope you get to have your spark back and be able to connect with yourself again. Mind sharing the things you used to enjoy? ( Don't have to if you don't feel comfortable sharing<3)
Allowing a bit of pity for myself helps honestly. If I've been through a storm, I'm allowed to sit back and cry for all that I lost instead to trying to think about the rainbow that I am going to get after it all.
I've been so hurtful to myself in the name of healing but I'm glad I'm nicer to myself now and my dreams are calmer without any fights. But it was a long journey and sometimes it involved absolutely hating someone I loved.
@BlueDarkAurora You have such a wonderful way with words. I love reading your replies! 💜
@mytwistedsoul Thank you for saying that, my mind is going to hold on to this for a while<3
@BlueDarkAurora You're welcome! Are you doing okay today? I hope you know this is a safe space for you too if you need some gentle ears. 💜
@mytwistedsoul aw thank you<3 I am okay ^-^ How are you doing?
@BlueDarkAurora I'm glad you're doing okay :) I'm okay...ish. Managing. Functional. A little sad and tired. Ready for spring. How's that for an answer lol! Thank you for asking. 💜
@mytwistedsoul That's a completely normal answer. I hope spring arrives as soon as it can lol. For me Nov-Dec-Jan are like ~_~ Test your survival skills while feeling like dense snow ~_~
Is it like being on autopilot for you? Do you prefer that?
@BlueDarkAurora Do you get much snow in your part of the world? I try not to complain too much about winter because it was late to start this season but these bitterly cold temperatures are a bit rude.
@mytwistedsoul Hey Twist. Your last sentence really hit me. I feel that way sometimes too. Maybe comparing myself too much to others. What’s right for us isn’t always what we see others doing that seems “normal”. Is it similar for you? I hope winter finishes up quickly in your area. I’m glad you are looking forward to spring. I think it’s ok to lay low and do the minimums while the weather is yuck. It’s ok even when the weather is nicer, sometimes we just need to have time to do nothing and conserve our mental physical resources. What do you like most about spring and the warmer weather?
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas I used to think that I didn't compare myself to others. Until I realized that I do, with everything. Nothing feels right anymore. The path that I walked, I walked with certainty but now my steps falter. I'm unsure of which direction to go.
@mytwistedsoul nah not so much.. It's totally understandable to despise the cold tho xD Snow can be so Annoying sometimes lol
What was the last winter like that you actually enjoyed? Or maybe just some part of it. I used to love winter but then most of my losses were around this time so now winter's like a hard skip. (you don't have to answer if you don't feel comfortable<3)
@BlueDarkAurora Her face is priceless! :D
@BlueDarkAurora I’m sorry I’m checking back late. How have you been? Feel free to describe your current mood using squirrel. 😇
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas That's alright<3 It's always so nice to see you around.
I'm doing okay<3 thank you for asking. How are you? Oh and yep squirrel scale xD
@BlueDarkAurora I’m glad you’re ok. And I’m really happy you’re here too. ❤️ You brighten up the forums with your posts and add such deep thoughts to the topics. I like seeing your perspective.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas my current squirrel mood😂
@Tinywhisper11 🤣🤣🤣
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas 😂😂😂😂
@Tinywhisper11 xD
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas It seems like my words are on a vacation right now but I truly appreciate you saying this<3
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas @mytwistedsoul @BlueDarkAurora @WorkingitThrough2
Hey everyone guess what!?!😁😁 I just planted donut seeds 😁😁 I found a box in the kitchen labelled 'cheerios' and in side was thousands of donut seeds 😁😁😁 how long does it take donuts to grow??????
@Tinywhisper11 😂😂😂😂
That’s so exciting! I think donuts take a hole year. 😂
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas 😂😂 a hole year😮😮😮 damn! I'm just gonna put theese toiletries back in the bathroom, I don't even want to imagine how long it will take a toilet to grow!!!
@Tinywhisper11 Oh a toilet is no problem. Just a bowl week. 😂
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas oh really!?!?! Cool, I need to go steal some toiletries again♿♿ brb ❤
😂😂😂
@Tinywhisper11 xD sprinkle some sugar, it helps them grow faster
@BlueDarkAurora oh yaaay! Ok I'm on it😁
@Tinywhisper11 Cinnamon can boost the sugar so you can grow super donuts :)
@mytwistedsoul @DarkBlueAurora @TinyWhisper11
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas 
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas yep go see if there's donut seeds in your kitchen too😁 you might be lucky
@mytwistedsoul yaaaaay! I'm growing super donuts😁😁
@Tinywhisper11
@Tinywhisper11
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas @mytwistedsoul @BlueDarkAurora WorkingiIthrough2 guess what!?!? I'm so faithful 😇 I don't have a boyfriend and I STILL don't sleep with other guys
😂😂😂😂😂
@Tinywhisper11
@mytwistedsoul 😂😂😂😂😂 yes that's right😁😁😁😂😂😂😂
@Tinywhisper11 😅😅😂🤪
@mytwistedsoul (hugs) I think I understand what you’re saying. There was a time when I thought I didn’t compare myself. I also thought I didn’t care what other people thought of me. At some point I realized I did. Made me think maybe I wasn’t strong enough like other people say there are. It feels good to be able to think we don’t care. But I think we all do, we just try not to. We wish we didn’t. Maybe some people just like to tell other people they don’t.
I think it’s inevitable to compare ourselves in some way. We look around us and see other people, observe them, learn from them, look at ourselves and wonder if we’re doing things “right”. It’s part of being in community. We can’t ignore what others are doing. It makes me think you are a conscious human that you care about what you do.
Communities are made up of many parts, each one fulfilling some role. No one can encompass every characteristic needed for a good community, so each person brings some to the table. If one role was left unfilled, we’d be lopsided. I read somewhere about personality types that some are more common than others. Maybe that’s why we come to have a concept of what’s “normal”. It’s not normal as in “preferred”, just what statistically happens more. That doesn’t equal better though. Just numbers. If we look at it a different way, normal could just as easily be called “boring”. No new ideas, no creativity or original thought. Just the same routines. Unfortunately the statistically common begins to think itself as normal and makes the others feel inferior somehow. That’s really the problem, not the ones that are different.
Do you know why so many people here noticed you were away a while? Because you don’t blend into the common. But in the best way possible. You stick out as different, in the way that everyone looks forward to your posts. Did you know some even strive to be more like you in how they talk to others? Sometimes people get a glimpse of something uncommon and find themselves drawn to it.
You mentioned walking your path with certainty once. Can you remember what it was about that path that made you feel good at that time? I feel like maybe you feel ashamed about something you were, but maybe you don’t need to be? Do you know what caused this path to seem uncertain? If you know what it was, is it necessarily an influence to hold so much weight?
I hope you find yourself again, this path your were on. Maybe Spring with its new beginnings is the perfect time to rediscover You. ❤️
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas @mytwistedsoul @BlueDarkAurora @WorkingitThrough2
So I was just thinking, they would have to be really really really really really really careful, if porcupines where to have sex🤔🤔