Reconnecting
Hi @helgyafy @tinywhisper11 @mytwistedsoul
I hope you don’t mind me creating this thread. I’m sorry, I haven’t been online lately and I couldn’t find where we’ve chatted before. I think of you all often and the kindness you’ve shown me, and I wonder how you’re doing. I really hope you’ve been well. I’m sending you prayers. Please pray for or think of me too when you have a moment. Please let me know how you’ve been.
❤️
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas yes I'll get the feeling back in my left side, my Neuro passageways for my upper body still work, and will heal itself with physiotherapy🙂 and the morning after I got home, I went and sat out with joshua ❤ it's supposed to be dry weather tommorow so I'm gonna go sit outside with him for a bit then ❤ do you celebrate Halloween with your children??
@Tinywhisper11 I'm so glad that you'll get the feeling back in your left side. I know you've been missing being able to do your arts and crafts. It's wonderful to hear that you were able to sit outside with Joshua ❤️
@mytwistedsoul thanks soul ❤ I can't wait to do art again. I'm gonna miss out on all the Halloween art this year🙁 but hopefully by xmas 🙂 ❤ they said it probably won't be as strong as my right arm, but it's still great news ❤
@Tinywhisper11 I’m so relieved to hear that the feeling will come back with physiotherapy. And I’m glad the weather has cooperated for you to be able to spend time outside with Joshua. ❤️
Some of my favorite times with my kids have been Halloween. They’re a little older now. I still dress up sometimes even just to give out candy. ☺️ I like to decorate for holidays. I haven’t gotten my decorations out of storage yet, and I was just debating if I should or not. The kids still like to though. I might borrow the Nightmare before Christmas idea and put both up at the same time. 😁
Do you like any kinds of Halloween movies? I like some scary movies, but others make me stressed. I wonder if your guinea pigs would wear costumes? 🤭 I’m joking, they might eat them.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas @Workingitthrough2 hey sweetie ❤ are you ok?? I heard you've had some bad weather, I really hope your ok ❤
@Tinywhisper11
We are fine, the cleanup from the aftermath of this disaster is the part I hate. I am in need of food and help with cleanup. However one step at a time and one task. We will be able to get disaster help soon I hope.
Tiny I miss being around you and your sweet encouraging words for all of us.💗
@WorkingitThrough2 gives you a hugggeee hug ❤ I really hope you will get help really soon ❤ I wish I could help you both. And all the others too, I hope and pray no-one got hurt.
I miss you too ❤🙂❤
@Tinywhisper11
You just don't know how much I miss you all here on cups. You hold a special place in my heart.
I miss your antics and fun spirit, I am so glad I met you💕
@WorkingitThrough2 ❤❤ we are here for you ❤
@Tinywhisper11 Hi Tiny. That’s so sweet of you. I am thankful that the storm didn’t come to my area of the U.S. I’m so sad for all the people who have been suffering.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas oh I'm glad your safe ❤❤ let's just hope and pray everyone effected will be ok, and no lives lost
@mytwistedsoul That sounds awful to feel numb all the time. I think you’re right that our minds are trying to help. Do you feel the numbness is a relief? Maybe what I go through isn’t true numbness, because I still feel distressed. It’s like my mind just blocks me from really being able to think about the things I’m sad about.
You don’t have to answer any of my questions. I wanted to ask why do you think you have been numb all the time? Do you feel unsafe in your life? Do you think you need an environment change? Or is it more like a backlog from the past? I hope this eases for you soon and you find something to give you relief.
I hope it’s ok to reply down here. Sometimes messages go off my screen and get really small.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas Once it was a relief. Because it allowed me to function but I still felt moments of happiness. Most of it is a backlog from the past but the last year has add new pages. A parent passed away and has left many conflicted and confusing emotions. There are so many things that have been left unresolved. In all honesty, I never imagined that it would cause so much turmoil. I am safe in my current environment but there are times that I think about a different life.
@mytwistedsoul I hadn’t ever heard of that before. I just looked up an article, and everything I kept reading I thought wow I do that too. I’ve heard of regular freeze response, which I’ve also done, but this is more like they should change the title to my name. 😁 I started feeling a little woozy reading it, like it hit too close to home.
That must be so heavy, carrying the grief and unresolved matters. It’s that much worse trying to deal with something new when there’s a backlog of old unresolved things. I don’t deal with the new things the way I’d like, and dealing with the old things comes to a halt. I hope you chip your way through one piece at a time and start to find some relief. The nicest people hold the biggest weights. It’s probably part of why you understand people so well.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas I think it may be a fairly new term? I had read about it in an article not too long ago. When you mentioned the numbness but still feeling distressed, it came to mind. Maybe they could call it Pieces Freezes :)
@mytwistedsoul pieces freezes😂😂😂 awww ❤😂😂😂
Grieving is one of the hardest things to go through, so many what ifs? 😥 just take your time, when you want to talk about any of it, then feel safe to do so here ❤❤ hugs you tightly ❤❤I'm here for you always ❤❤
@Helgafy 🙂
There’s lot to unpack here. I’m writing at the bottom because my response will be long again, and I don’t want it to run off the screen. I’m not going to write anymore about politics after this, because it’s not possible for me write a simple response on any of these issues. I’m a big picture person, and trying to explain the various ways I see things overwhelms me.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas
Thank you again Pieces for your very fine writing. And it's good you have democraty in your country. It's OK not to discuss politics and you're right about the news I read from your country - that I must be careful. I liked Sanders a lot - he was speaking about higher taxes I think - for those who have most of income. It's more like the Scandinavian model. (I guess I have told you that I live in Bergen, Norway). But I have heard several times from Heagen (?) ministries that socialism is bad - because after that comes communism. We have a kind of sosialism here, not many poor, not many rich. Well - You don't have to answer - I guess you have enough of talking about these things. (I heard Trumps wife came with a book where she in a way go against antiabortion. Well - I cherish the life in mothers womb).
@Helgafy Yes it is interesting she came out with that book. Even with all the party lines and even religious differences, I keep seeing how much we all have in common. I too wish to protect life as much as possible. I think the world would be a better place if everyone could take the attitude of learning from each other, whether it’s fiscal policy or social issues like accepting each other.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas
Today I just want to say thank you "Pieces" for taking your time to discuss with me twice. All the best from Helga.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas sorry I haven't been around, getting frustrated with myself lately cause I can't do anything 🙁 so I haven't been here much.
did you get your decorations out?? You can always skip Halloween and go straight to xmas😁 I've been listening to Xmas songs for a couple of weeks now😁 it's the happiest music in the world 😁 my Xmas playlist is really long ❤
how are you feeling? You settling back into cups ok? Hugs you tightly ❤ I love you ❤
@Tinywhisper11 oh you've been watching Halloween films. Don't watch them after 5 pm you don't want nightmares😂😂
Well done for going to the dentist, and taking care of yourself more ❤ let me know how your doctor appointments went ❤
@Tinywhisper11 You’re too sweet asking how I’m getting settled back in here. ❤️ I’ve been logging on more lately. It’s nice talking with you all. I haven’t really been anywhere besides this page and Iam’s. So I feel bad that there may be things I should already know, if I bother anyone by asking again here. I think I used to get notifications for some of your threads, but you might not write on those anymore. A few times I tried using the search function to find posts, but when I can manage to find it 🙄 I put in certain words and it says zero results. I know for sure the words were in those posts, and I bet in other posts I’m not even looking for. 😅 So I gave up on that. It makes me feel like a dinosaur. 🦕 Being a dinosaur isn’t too bad though. You get to squish people without realizing it and then having to feel bad about it.
I have been feeling calmer lately, thank you for asking. ❤️ I’ve been distracted with activities that are making me feel more positive.
Please don’t ever apologize for being away, or not responding right away. I am here sporadically myself, so I don’t really think about the frequency of anyone replying. I have read a couple times that you have been away getting rest from time to time, and that makes me really happy that you’re tending to yourself. I understand what you’re saying about the frustration of not being able to do things you want though.
I think you mentioned on Iam’s page about trying to draw again. Is that part of your physiotherapy?
@mytwistedsoul Please don’t think you have to answer. I sometimes talk in a way that overwhelms people around me.
You started by saying how it’s hard not knowing how to move past it. Maybe trying to figure that out adds to the stress. When I’ve had a hard time with some grief things for a while, it’s like one day I just realized that I didn’t think about it much the day before, or at all. I would feel bad about that, but there was also a sense of relief and normalcy. Then it would stay with me a while again, and then I’d have another day or two where it would randomly be less again. I think it would happen when I got busy with things that made me feel good about life. I will always be sad when I think about those things, but little by little they had less of such a constricting hold over me.
What do you enjoy lately? Are there any activities you do that give you some fulfillment?
When you say everything has come to a stand still, do you mean you feel like your life has? Maybe you are like me and replay in your mind the way you feel you should have done things? We do torture ourselves with what we know now that we didn’t know then. This was a complicated relationship. I’m sure there were so many factors going on that determined what actions you took. It is probably a lot of mixed emotions to think about how your parent was responsible for their part in the relationship. Do you recognize the good things you did for them? Do you believe they made some difference?
I think you understand people and yourself better than you give yourself credit for. I think so because of the distinct way I’ve seen you talk to people. People can just get these combinations of factors from time to time that make them act outside themselves. You know who you are, but people make you doubt it. You care about people, so you give them more weight than they should have. We know ourselves best, we just get confused.
It’s human to feel cold and disconnected sometimes. When you’re going through a lot, you don’t have much bandwidth for giving. It’s not bad if you don’t want to some days. That’s not a sign of not caring, it’s a sign of your self trying to take care of you. I don’t think you’ll feel that way forever. You’re pretty warm to people around here, even if you might muster yourself up to write. That desire shows where your heart is.
I pray for some peace for your thoughts today.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas In all honesty, it's nice to have an actual conversation that doesn't involve someone saying that "they're sorry I feel this way" or "that sucks". Thank you, I appreciate your words and your time.
@mytwistedsoul Hi twist,
I was going to reply to your thoughts in order, but your last sentence surprised me so much I have to note before I forget. No no apologies for taking space here. You didn’t really take it anyway, you were answering questions I put upon you. ☺️ You have utilized very little space. It is meant to be for everyone, and when someone’s going through something, we may at times take turns taking up more space. I put you on the notification originally because I wanted to see how you all were, not just to support me. You have been very good to me, and I want the same for you.
I’m relieved that you liked the conversation and I didn’t push too much!
It’s good that you do have some times that it’s not as prominent in your mind. But wow yes that makes sense why it is so much right now. Your friends will be with you this weekend in spirit. No pressure but you’re welcome to use this page if you need to let anything out. I hope the weekend might help bring a little closure to some of those things that stay with you.
It’s cool that you have done some traveling! I think what you said about denial was very wise. It’s a very normal reaction. I don’t think there’s any way someone could be expected to react. Life is too complicated. I’m glad you said you’d like to think some of what you did made a difference. Every little thing we do makes a difference in some way.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas
I had wanted to reply sooner but was hesitant because of the recent bug. I'm still not sure how well this will post. Then an elderly neighbor took a tumble. She fine, just bruised and sore. Then the Internet was spotty. It's been a fairly eventful day.
Thank you! :) I usually try not to draw too much attention to things I'm dealing with with, especially here. Accepting support feels rather awkward.
Thank you for the offer to use this space if I need. I'm not sure how this weekend will go in all honesty. I've already been warned that this has stirred up emotions for a few of the other attendees, which is understandable. It's their loss too. It's a complicated situation. It's nice to think there might be people there with me in spirit. I do hope that maybe it will bring some form of closure, I really do.
Oh my, the situation with this listener is another complicated issue. We met as members in a chatroom here. They contacted me under their listener account. At first it was okay? There was more energy to give. This person claims they want to talk but yet they don't, hopefully that makes sense. Being depressed myself, interacting with this person made it worse, because they are miserable (their words). I have been trying to step away for months. I haven't spoke to him in 2 weeks now. It's been a relief in all honesty.
Thank you, it is a fairly long trip.
Perhaps when I return you can update me on how things are with the functional freeze (Pieces Freezes) if you'd like to of course. :) I hope you can find some peaceful moments this weekend.
@mytwistedsoul Hi twist,
How are you? You don’t have to say you’re ok if you’re not.
I want to apologize to you, because I realized something today. I said this page was a place for you to write if you needed, but then yesterday at some point I wrote about some silly drama I was having, and afterward I worried that maybe no one else felt they could write here. I want you to know that I have been thinking of your difficult day today and offering my best wishes for you.
I was also hesitant to write here for a couple days because of the bugs. It looks like some things are fixed but the format is still different. I will get used to it. I miss the code a little, it was fun to think we might outsmart the AI. 😁
I hope your neighbor is ok. We have an elderly neighbor here too, an older man alone who is very poor. He likes to help out with some handyman things. I make some extra food for him when I make our meals. He had an accident last summer and got very emotional revealing we were like his family. This had a big effect on me.
Do you mind if I ask why you try not to draw too much attention to things you’re dealing with especially here? You said accepting support feels awkward. I think maybe I understand, as I felt guilty after writing here yesterday. Maybe it’s similar. I hope this could be a source you could come when you need help. I hope I didn’t make it weird.
Your loss has impacted a lot of people. I hope that means you have a lot of support around you.
❤️❤️❤️
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas Hello :) You have nothing to apologize for. This is also space for you to share, if you're comfortable doing so. There is also never any obligations to reply unless you want to. Most of us here understand that we all have bad days and sometimes we just need to vent. Thank you for your thoughts and best wishes. I do appreciate them. ❤️
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas no art is not part of physiotherapy, art is my hobby, one of my greatest joys. But I only have one hand at the moment, with missing fingers so it's really really hard to do🙁 I've been trying but failing miserably at it, I guess I just gotta wait till I get better🙂 just frustrating though. I'm glad your doing ok ❤❤❤
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas
@Tinywhisper11 Tiny!! Oh my goodness I laughed so hard. 😂 Thank you for sending these! I can’t stop looking at their little facial expressions, wondering what they were thinking at the time. What good little guinea piggies you have!
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas yep so I've been buying little fancy dress clothes for them, for my birthday present😁 I couldn't resist, photo shoot is gonna be fun ❤
@Tinywhisper11 You are a very talented artist!
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas thank you ❤
@Helgafy How are you doing today?
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas
Hello to you Pieces.
I hope you're doing good.
For your question - thank you for asking - I'll ask you a question back sister in Christ: How to manage the suffering with depression and heavy thoughts until 3 p.m.?
All the best from Helga.
@Helgafy Oh my friend I’m sorry the depression is bothering you again. 🙁 Do you know what brought it on? Are you in physical pain?
Sometimes it helps me to do something nice for myself or someone else. Getting out of the house, seeing nature, or doing an activity I enjoyed as a child can lift my mood. Sometimes those things are hard to do and don’t really help, so I rest and try to wait it out. I have the most problem when too many things in my life feel out of my control at once.
Are there things that have helped you a little in the past?
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas
Hi Pieces.
Thank you so much for taking the time to write. I have NO! physical pain - is not that awesome? I have the sickness of ME/CFS and have not been out of my home for 2,5 years. Yesterday was a hard one. At 9 P.M. (yes - in the evening) - I became "normal" - could eat (I had eaten breakfast). So in the day I stayed in the pain (as you described "wait it out"). I watched TV - news and YouTube. Godly things and earthly things.
@Helgafy hugs you tightly ❤ depression is so very hard, and in your living situation🙁 well... I'm just glad God gave us this site, tv, and youtube. To help you get through the bad times ❤ your very special to me and many other people here, you can talk to us, about anything. I love you ❤
And did you just call yourself normal!?!?😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@Tinywhisper11
Thank you so much Tiny. The sites here have changed so much. I didn't know you had a message for me, I thought it was an upvoting. But I clicked on it and found it. At the news it was said some days ago the northern light was to be seen over your country. I watched at my TV - very nice. I think they called it aurora? Yesterday I could take a bath, washing my hair and dress in green (also green China-shoes ordered all the way from China). I didn't have the strength to dress in 25 days. I bless you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
@Helgafy aww bless you🙁 your really struggling bad 😥 I wish I could help you. But you got dressed yaaay!🙂 well done ❤ I bet you look stunning in green, and China shoes they sound just perfect, just like you ❤ this new layout is hard work I know. But we'll get used to it eventually😁 sends giant hugs and healing rainbows your way 🌈🌈 I love you ❤
@Helgafy Hi my friend. ❤️ I’m so sorry I’ve been away a few days. Such bad timing on my part. I don’t like to write you and then not be available.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas
Hi. Hi Pieces. You have done nothing wrong.
@WorkingitThrough2 Hello! I was wondering how you’re doing the last couple days with the storm aftermath. Did this latest one have any effect on you as well? I hope your ok.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas
Thanks for asking and thinking about me❤️, Thank God this last one did not affect us. We are still trying to get back to normal around here😥
@WorkingitThrough2 I've praying for you ❤ for all of those effected🙁 the devastation theese things bring are terrible. I'm here for you if you ever need to talk ❤ we all care about you here ❤ and your more than welcome to hang out here with us ❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤
@Tinywhisper11
You are a real uplifting soul. I 
you so much. Thanks for being you.
@WorkingitThrough2 awwwwww ❤ your just a big bundle of cutness ❤❤ thankyou
