How to build healthy boundaries with anyone?
Because self care is the greatest form of care!😇
I'm looking for self help tips...
or perhaps you can share what works for you... maybe that will work for me too... you never know...
Hey hey @warmheartedbunny4 nice to have a warmhearted bunny here hehe!🐰
You're spot on, self-care is sooo important, so is setting boundaries and actually following through.
I feel, it's important to define what boundaries mean to you, what kind of boundaries do you want for yourself, and with those around, the kind of impact/ change you wish to see/ goals etc!
Personally, for me, my boundaries are more about me and for me, than about other people. It matters to me what/who I allow to interact with my energy and take up space in my mind, heart, life, in general. If something isn't benefitting me in any way whether mentally or emotionally or is rather draining and emotionally exhaustive, not aligning with my values, goals and beliefs ~ I'd try setting boundaries in how much "power" this thing/ person holds in affecting me. It's the "following through" part that I find more strugglesome hehe, like it's easier to say and want something, but to actually honor it and be accountable for it, is the challenge. A learning curve forsho. I'm learning, exploring and becoming better at it too and wish you all the strength and compassion to do the same for yourself.
Also, if you'd like here's some great resources to check out:
Some awesome forum discussions on the topic:
♡Developing and Maintaining Healthy Boundaries
♡How to Identify Your Personal Boundaries
thankyou so very much for helping me.
i appreciate all the guidance you offered me!
god bless you!
😇
@warmheartedBunny4
You are so welcome!
Soo I see a lot of people shared awesome tips to set healthy boundaries, what's your take on these so far? Anything you'd like to add as well?😊
@warmheartedBunny4 A tip for self care is to really listen to your body! Sometimes, our minds and ambitions get a little ahead of where we are physically, and that's okay! It's important to have a gentle approach to self-care activities and allow yourself to rest when you feel that you need to
@WayJay Apologies, I misread the title of this forum (happens, haha!)
I guess what I said above still does in some way apply to this situation though. Often, setting boundaries can be a somewhat messy process, as you need to change other's expectations of you, which can often be rigid. It's important to see the smaller victories and subtle changes in how they approach you and celebrate those. It will greatly affect your mindset in the process of setting boundaries.
@WayJay Also, to this I would add that the process of setting boundaries is mostly about expressing your own needs. You are simply stating what you need in order to feel secure in the relationship. In order to do that, you need to use effective communication and have reflected on what you need in the relationship as well. I would definitely suggest journaling for clarity on this and perhaps reading a book on communication to effectively communicate your needs (and develop active listening, go 7Cups!).
@WayJay Perhaps "Parent Effectiveness Training: The Proven Program for Raising Responsible Children" by Thomas Gordon would be a good book for the communication piece, if you just look at the relationship being between you and the other individual instead of being between a parent and a child. Don't know why that came to mind, but hey!
@warmheartedBunny4 My self care: I set an alarm on my phone to remind me to drink water, I have a daily check-in half an hour where I write down anything that may be stressing me out etc so I can address it before my day starts, every Sunday I have a pajama day where I watch movies and don't do much else
@warmheartedBunny4
I don't have much tips as I'm in the process of learning how to set healthy boundaries myself. But one tip I have is to always point out the things a person said to you that bothered you. Sorry if it doesn't make sense, I'm writing it while being extremely tired.😭
Because eif you keep it for yourself and act as though everything is fine, it will only lead up to a lot of resentment, which in turns make your mental health worse. So always point out the things that bother you or certain behaviors that bother you. Don't tolerate it.
Also, if you struggle with feeling guilty while setting boundaries, remember that there is nothing wrong about it. You are the most important person in your life and it's vital for you to protect your peace. There is nothing selfish about caring about yourself and your mental health. And when asserting your boundaries try to be polite but firm. You can't get emotional because it can be used against you and nobody will even take you seriously. But that was my personal case, so it may be not the same for you.
Good luck on your journey of learning about healthy boundaries. It takes times and practice and I hope it will work out for both of us.
This is exactly what I needed to hear!👏
Thankyou so very much for saying this as I always used to keep it to myself and let these stupid creatures affect me for days.😔
@warmheartedBunny4
Awww i'm happy i could help! I went through a lot, so now it's my goal to help as many people as i can with all the knowledge i acquired due to hardships. Best of luck on your journey 💗
@warmheartedBunny4 um so what i do for like self care or self appreciation is i take myself on a date. Basically i take myself somewhere where i've been wanting to go or try something new and just appreciate myself! Or journaling I do to and it's so helpful
@warmheartedBunny4
"Therapist Tracy Hutchinson, PhD, says the first step to feeling respected and safe in your relationships is knowing your rights. These rights include:
- To feel safe in a relationship
- To have your privacy and boundaries you have created, respected
- To be heard and listened to
- To feel validated
- To be appreciated and valued
- To respect that the answer “no” means “no”
- To have your needs met
- To be treated respectfully- absence of emotional, physical, or verbal abuse"- https://nami-wake.org/creating-and-maintaining-healthy-boundaries/
@ChaoticListener thank you just what i needed now⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
when i make boundaries, people ignore it and step all over me