2024 November Stay STUCK in my own Muck OR FIGHT like never before!
I HAVE HIT ROCK BOTTOM AGAIN.
I've made progress in 2024 but here towards the end of the year, trials and tribulations have me feeling impotent and useless once again. This rock bottom is not the same rock bottom as a year or two ago. I know from my accomplishments this rock bottom can be approached with some extra advantages. With that said, ROCK BOTTOM is ROCK BOTTOM regardless of what you have or what you don't have. Rock bottom makes you feel impotent and useless.
(I am grateful and give thanks for all of my blessings)
BEEN STUCK IN THIS EPISODE OF MY OWN MUCK FOR TOO LONG AND I'M TIRED OF IT!
TIME TO FIGHT AGAIN! (Fight or give up..... my choice..... my results)
This is my November fight.
Family Relations, Nephew intrusion into my space.... Started as an asset but quickly turned negative.... TRY TO SAVE a positve spin to it. Holiday Communications. Keep equipment repaired to make money. Make money.
All feels hopeless, futile and disparing.
Where is the sunshine after all of last years hard work and progress?
Maybe my December post will feel more fruitful.
Quick Reference to other threads related to Goals and Setbacks
STUCK IN MUCK SERIES
2024 Week 41 0f 52 Stay STUCK in my own MUCK or FIGHT like never before by isayUncle
2024 Week 41 0f 52 Stay STUCK in my own MUCK or FIGHT like never before by isayUncle
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OTHER HELPFUL THREADS
Efforts & Progress beyond Survival by isayUncle
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https://www.7cups.com/forum/journal/JournalCheckin_2564/EffortsProgressbeyondSurvival_333802/
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Today this Friday and I had a talk with my nephew on the phone and we just can't get on the same page with all the assets that I have.
With the property I own and the equipment that I own with the back *** and dump trucks we can build a pretty good tourism place right here.
But sadly my nephew missed the part about having to work the back *** business to make money for the tourist business and he just wanted to jump in on all the fun stuff when in reality we got a year's worth of hard work to save up money for the tourist business.
He's over 49 years old so there's no excuse of young exuberance.
This development has been a huge blow to my psyche at a time that I was already down and out. I hate to say it but I even have a fear that he might steal from me. Another relative that told me he stole from his mother so now I have to put in inside cameras. I would've never expected it but now how things have developed, I don't know how he's gonna make money when he moves down here so that is becoming a real concern.
OK for today I gotta get motivated and get going.
My mind is so cloudy with negative energy, worry, doubt and uncertainty...... That I am getting lost in my own head, just trying to get dressed.
I'm absorbing this and pushing forward.
@IsayUncle Hey I hope you don't mind. Take a deep breath ok? Take a few more if you need to. You've got this. You're strong and able and you've got a really good head on your shoulders. It just starts with one step forward. What is top priority? *sending you good vibes to chase away the worry*
@mytwistedsoul
Thanks Twist..... I've about lost it.
I have to recover my core balance items.... all the things of necessity on a daily/weekly agenda.
I had that covered a couple months back but slowly it has deteriorated into a non obligatory pattern. I must regain my core balance in addition to maintaining all of other life's balances.
But my first goal is to regain my core balance items in addition to being out the door ready by 6:00 AM.
I wanna call myself names but I know any progress is good so vacuuming floors right now is a good thing to do. 11:45am
@IsayUncle You've got a lot of things you're worried about. Not only do you need to worry about you but your nephew too. It's really lousy that he's stealing and you have to go to lengths like putting cameras up to watch for things. Is there anyway to verify that he actually did? Not to doubt the relative that told you that but just to be sure? Or maybe to just come right out and ask him or tell him that if anything like that happens at your place he's done. I know it sucks have to lay down the law - especially with family but for your own peace of mind
@mytwistedsoul
As far as the stealing goes, I do not know it to be true but to bring it up would create an animosity that can't really be afforded in this situation. (in the hopes of betterment) I hate to believe it and I don't want to believe it. But what initially started as doing a business together, part of that business is to have a business meeting and discuss the finances.
He's adamant about not wanting to talk about where he spends his money or how he gets his money period. Someone that does not want to talk about income versus debt to make weekly improvements is not kosher to me. (He doesn't have a private financial portfolio scenerio) We'd be struggling together just to make ends meet. That just reinforced my fear on top of the comment that was made to me.
What started off as a great idea has eroded into feeling like I'm just being used. He's evasive and elusive. He has all these great ideas but evasive with the actual work it takes to do it.
As his uncle I'm perfectly fine with him following his own endeavors at whatever he wants to do but by no means, at my expense on any level because I have nothing to spare.
It really sucks. He doesn't have a clue how advantageous it is I have two back *** outfits and a 10 ton dump truck. (our original plan..... ) now I'm just cussing out loud for the heck of it. 😬.
My plans for the day got altered. To start off with I decided to clean out the fridge cook any foods before they went spoiled.
In that process I got a phone call, a good one about meeting up and getting the title signed over my name with a dump truck. Finally after two years of worry, dump truck is righteously in my name. That is a big win this year. I bought it on faith because there was a bank lien against it. (a friend needed $$). Dumb but done now. I'm waiting on a release paperwork for the backhoe and the trailer now finally I will have that worry off my shoulders.
Here here I am being stupid enough to worry about getting the floors vacuumed. OMG... get a life! 🤣
@IsayUncle Oh yeah wow. I have to be honest that would make me nervous too, money is something that's always important to talk about when it comes to business. It seems pretty shady on his part that he doesn't want to talk about how he gets his money. To me the half of the point of going into business for yourself is to make money
@mytwistedsoul
Thanks for the long winded response. It's actually a sign of generosity. How long in time to write it out and it's also an act of concern. Thanks for your time and insight, which is spot on.
Sadly, I think he's just another individual that evades the consequences of his choices. And in this case I may fall victim to his blame game which is horrible because I was wanting this to be a big asset in the family dynamic. Another private battle I'm fighting with.
The best laid plans of mice and men.
Thanks for all your comments and your understanding. I'm going to be pounding my woes out on this thread until I get things right.
So, in all fairness, how are things going for you this week?
@IsayUncle That really sucks. I know a guy like that or I did. I don't talk to him anymore. I went out of my way to help him out more times than I should have and got screwed every single time. Money, work, even bailed him out of jail once. And he stole things too now that I think about it 😅 I know you've sort of mentioned before about family issues. I think that you wanting this to be a family asset is amazing. I really hope it works out in a positive way for you
@mytwistedsoul
About helping others that dump on you...... it is so common to get the short end of the stick. When we're younger and more optimistic about the world, it really blows our mind that we help somebody and they would do that to us. As we get older, we understand the reality. (sadly)
I'm really sorry that guy did that to you. It would have been nice if he was able to turn things around and make you feel good about helping him. But you tried you know that's the best we can do.
My nephew isn't really my little nephew anymore, he's a 50 year old man that may or may not have the same qualities of a 50 year old man off the street that I might help. it's a reality.
I hope you get your pellet stove running good. I know that little propane stoves or heaters a thermocouple gets dirty and pilot area gets dusty when stored over the season. They seem like they will never get started or stay running. Blowing out that thermocouple area and the pilot light area does wonders. I'm not familiar with pellet stoves but I'm hoping something similar to that, kinda like a seasonal clean that'll get her running smooth for you.
Do you actually keep your chickens in the greenhouse over the winter? That's a pretty good idea. You do a lot of work to take care of your farm. I'll bet you got a pretty cool place.
btw, I started my other thread a couple years ago because I was in the dumps like I am now. But gladly that thread turned into a softer, more communal comment area and so I don't want to dump all my heavy c.rap over there anymore.
I like that other thread over there and I really like the way that you have encouraged enthenia through her trials. She posts a lot and it's really nice to have someone help her along and free up my time a bit. And also how you help in responding to others too. thx.
Don't worry about me over here too much. I think I'll be doing a lot of (time consuming) stupid "woe is me" posting. Just-A-Venting... out loud! 😬😕🙂. But thanks for the comments you do share.😃
Just clean the lousy kitchen..... 438pm
clean the bed room. 530pm
511am... be out the door ready by 615am (no where needed to be)... just get ready!
so many directions to go....
research and purchase mini cameras.... 45 minutes (620am)
@IsayUncle Hi!
I understand the feeling! I have struggled with many issues that make me feel like I failed. But like you, having some success, I know I have done better, which means you can continue improving in the areas you are working on! It's like going up steps. You are doing it! Holidays are so tough sometimes. I will follow your post to see how you are doing. You are not alone, I promise!
@GetHeardNow
Thanks, I'm ok, just crying in my beer.
Reduced to living one sentance at a time.... my brains fluidity option has quit working. 😁
Thanks for commenting. I hope you have a great weekend.😃
Sometimes that's all you can do. You just need to be heard and get it out. I completely understand that. Hopefully that helps you as you move forward. Something has worked for you.
I saved several youtube videos on cameras and watched them while working in the kitchen and folding laundry.
I have a few more to watch (while doing other tasks)..... I got a wealth of useful information.
My gut is filled with anxiety this morning but I am making progress. I'm anxious about a decision I have to make as I finish a few household chores.
Do I wanna run errands in town or go work on my backho to finish that repair. Both projects are an hour drive away and then of course the time do the projects.
Or am I gonna cop out on both just keep trying to work around the house?
It's 9:15 AM, I'll continue some household chores right now.
already losing focus, purpose and motivation..... from minutes ago.
1 hour.... just push. 920am
