Reflection on how to do pick up (for girls and guys)

@okeyyyy Thank you for reflecting and giving encouragement to those who may need it

Its does point to the idea that the more you put pressure on yourself to be a particular way the less likely it will come off natural as does the person really get to know you. The more you expect the more disappointed you will be 

Someone's idea of the labels you have mentioned femineity and masculine can be construed differently. 

@GoldenRuleJG Thank you for reflecting and giving encouragement to those who may need it

Its does point to the idea that the more you put pressure on yourself to be a particular way the less likely it will come off natural as does the person really get to know you. The more you expect the more disappointed you will be 

Someone's idea of the labels you have mentioned femineity and masculine can be construed differently. 

glad to help, yes  its good to finding who we want to be, like being a better versions of ourselves, yes this thing like femininity or masculinity tend to be an obstacle for people to become who they want to, example if a woman wants to lift heavy weights having to deal with what others say and such, or what others envision for men and women, which tends to be trying to fit people into preestablished roles, like you dont see many women being construction workers, or mechanics, etc, or many men being ballet dancers, yes there are some, but still. So point is being who you want to be and ignoring what others think about it , more like following who you really wanna be and to not let yourself be influenced, or stopped from being who you wanna be. 

@okeyyyy

yes but these are the intial steps my guy/gal.non binary pal

you need a lot more

mutual intrests or activity to talk about or bond over 

mustual atraction so you stay hoocked 

and most important the confidence to talk the first step for both guys and girls

its a chase yes but each side has their own mindgames they need to move through

while its obvious that guys struggle with the initial move and getting the courage to try

firls struggle with expectations by peers and feelings of self doubt / fearing the guy is a creep or someone who only wants them now and not for a long term thing

both sides need courage and confidence

girls like confident guys even if they say no

and i have yet to find a guy who would say no to a girl who confdantly makes a first move unless he was already in a relationship

@scorpionpolktanktree  

mutual interests (yes)

mutual attraction (yes)

and most important the confidence to talk the first step for both guys and girls 

(sometimes there are indirect approaches like not talking directly to the person but saying to that the other hears it , or interacting in a group, or singing when the other passes by, etc )

its a chase yes but each side has their own mind games they need to move through,

like breaking the ice, etc. 

while its obvious that guys struggle with the initial move and getting the courage to try

yes but the women tend to never approach and struggle even more, cause men tend to be socially forced into pursuing, while women are socially forced into being passive and give hints and so on, but this is no more than social expectations which can be broken/bypass depending on the person.

girls struggle with expectations by peers and feelings of self doubt / fearing the guy is a creep or someone who only wants them now and not for a long term thing

I think depends on the girl, some girls do want short term too, but I guess the problem is more like that there are a lot of stereotypes/ preconceptions in our head when we talk to someone, fearing that all men/women will be the same ( generalisations) . So yes when dealing with someone new is always hard to know who we are dealing with, plus when is dating lust is a thing that often is on the table, and more than anything the fear of getting scammed, lied and manipulated, taken advantage of, etc. Yet both women and men can be lusty and go after sex. Cause planning is easy but not always things go accordingly. 

both sides need courage and confidence

Yes, and more than that, be self loving, good communicative, and emotionally attuned with their emotions, see life as opportunities more than as problems, is more like having a positive mindset, and knowing not everyone is a good match, etc. 


girls like confident guys even if they say no

i would not generalize in this regard, girls is not one single entity, what happens when we say this we project onto others what we feel others will say. I feel that this has been more like a force stereotype pushed into society as how women and men should be. This is something better learn from experience,  and also be mindful that we can misjudge people, cause we dont read minds, even our perceptions of others can betray us.

and i have yet to find a guy who would say no to a girl who confidently makes a first move unless he was already in a relationship

There are many cases were a guy might say no to a girl, maybe he does not like her, maybe he finds her annoying, or he is busy, or he does not like her attitude. You place women too high. For a relationship you need 2 people, either if its a sporadic one or a more long term one, also there are both desperate men and women. Sometimes things are more than you can see on the surface.