Discussion Mindfulness Week 28/24
This is a brief summary of the 2 discussions we had on Monday and Thursday this week (week 48/24).
Topics: Thriving on our own without feeling lonely
Emotional stability
Thriving on our own without feeling lonely
Loneliness is not the same as being alone. You can feel lonely amongst people if you cannot connect to them but be happy being alone. Unlike being alone, loneliness often implies that you are looking for someone or something that you feel you need in order to feel secure and happy.
Being alone is a chance for you to refocus on yourself, on your needs, on what makes you feel good. Developing certain routines and self-care techniques can help us to thrive and be happy alone in our lives without feeling lonely.
What could we do long-term to manage feelings of loneliness?
What kind of strategies can help us to thrive in life? Example: Practising relaxation technique.
Emotional stability
Emotional stability, or the capacity to control and regulate one's emotions in a healthy way, is a critical component of total mental health.
Life happens, and your emotions are the expression of what is happening to you.
Emotions are a way our body talks to us. They communicate our needs and what’s important to us so it is important that we become aware of them.
Mood tracking can be useful for a number of different reasons such as detecting triggers that lead to mood swings. Other useful ways are
Mood tracker apps
Wearable mood trackers
Journaling
Daily mood check-ins
Mindfulness practices like deep breathing exercises and meditation help with emotional stability by providing a sense of calm, peace, and balance.
How do you care for yourself when you are hurting?
How do you find balance in stressful situations?
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@amiablePeace77
How do you care for yourself when you are hurting?
I care for myself by journaling, yoga, mindfulness and meditation.
How do you find balance in stressful situations?
I write down what my mind is going through and my feelings and work each of them out to relieve the stress I am feeling
"What could we do long-term to manage feelings of loneliness?"
Understand the underlying need and where it comes from. This would make that need easier to fulfil.
It wasn't til I read this post, that I thought that maybe there is a connection between my loneliness and feeling rejected/unwanted/not good enough long ago. Maybe my loneliness now is less to do with being alone now, and more to do with sadness left over from the past.
That would be hopeful. Because it puts the solution in my hands, instead of someone else's.
Maybe loneliness is sometimes a longing for someone else to fix your problems for you.
@Clio9876
Those are some interesting and I also believe helpful ways to look at your feelings of loneliness! I believe when people feel well and enjoy time alone, they do not feel lonely but it's different when one is ruminating a lot.
@amiablePeace77
Can I change your last sentence? To "its different when something isn't right"?
I get a bit triggered by the idea of ruminating a lot/overthinking/over analysis. I believe the ruminating is because your brain knows that something isn't right, and is trying to find the solution. And that normally the thing that isn't right is a thought that is stuck. I believe there is a risk of implying that ruminating or over thinking is a problem, which I believe is likely to lead people to try to stop ruminating or thinking, when actually I believe the opposite is needed, when thinking a lot there is a need to free the thoughts, not block them up more.
In my case, the thought I was too horrified to admit, was that I was angry. Seething furiously angry. But as soon as I unstuck it, lots of other things became unstuck.
I believe the ruminating/over thinking is the symptom, not the problem. And trying to fix the symptom will not solve the underlying problem.
To me, it is a bit too close to "just get over it". Which I think we all acknowledge is unhelpful.
And that's why I'm a bit triggered, because I've had a few too many people suggest I should stop thinking/get over it/just get on with life.
I'm sure you didn't mean any of this. And my belief is that we shouldn't spend our lives in fear of other people's triggers. So it would be best if you don't take this to mean you should change anything. I'm changing it for me. I'm bothered about that sentence because of what other people have said. So it doesn't really have much to do with you.
And in fact, I'm thinking of editing this to share with one of the people who does believe in "just get over it". This would better address the root of the problem.
Thanks for listening, once again and forever.
And now I should get on with at least some things. If not life. Lol.
