I don't know what to do after being rejected twice( by a cis guy, and a trans girl respectively).
I can say I truly fell in love with two people - first a cis guy, then a trans girl. (I am a cis girl.)
My friendship with the guy ended because of me being a fool, but I clearly remember what he said when he rejected me romantically, he said in an incredibly eloquent way, but the message behind it was "I can't love you the way you want, but you are an amazing person" and tried his best to "help me understand" and "calm me down". I suffered very much when he eventually blocked me due to me overwhelming him with my family issues.
The trans girl, back then in the closet, wanted me to return( she doesn't know about the situation with the guy to this day), because I was retreating myself, trying to deal with my emotions alone.
Oh the irony.
Meanwhile, during a period of 1.5 years of no contact, she realized she was trans. She reconnected with me in October( she sent me a message, and while I've had feelings for her from long ago( and she had an innocent crush on me, but back then I didn't give much thought, but I never rejected her), only now did they come to light for me. When she also rejected me, she said "Please understand that I can only love you platonically". And she really likes to tell me "I love you platonically" for some twisted reason, while also trying to lecture me on love. It's like hearing the guy all over again.
What should I do in order for me to finally have my attraction reciprocated with someone?
As a sidenote... I've thought a lot lately about the possibility of me being trans as well. I'm honestly 50/50 on this one. A part of me believes that I'm truly trans(masc), but the other is feeling this just because it's a way of coping with the rejection and/or wanting to be her equal and to take a similar personal journey( I think I would've been her true equal if I was a trans woman, but I'm not AMAB, unfortunately...)
I just hope she isn't disappointed in me.
I'm desperate. This whole ordeal made me being distracted from my daily life( like college). Please, I need as much help and advice as I can get.