FTM Trans Partner Aggression (Trigger Warning: mention of abuse, sa, psychosis/mania , hormone therapy)
My partner became very aggressive and physically abusive to me halfway through the relationship, and I’ve been noticing signs of underlying issues as well. It started getting bad when he began taking T again, but he was not taking it regularly so it seemed like a revolving cycle of constant anger and abuse because his hormones would never actually have time to settle. He purposely skipped doing his shot one day because he didn’t feel like walking to the clinic in the snow apparently, even though I said I’d go with him. Other times it just got too expensive. I’m well aware it doesn’t excuse the abuse and I’m going to counselling and doing my own healing because i can’t be with him it’s too much the cheating the lying and all the physical and sexual abuse , but because I did care deeply for him and still do I told his mom what happened and about my worries about him being in some sort of a spiritual psychosis or mania and she’s going to try and get him the help he needs. He gets in these “i am the messiah” moods and has been in one for days. He keeps calling everyone evil and saying the truth will prevail and just talking all sorts of crazy nonsense that probably makes perfect sense to him. We’ve (his mom and I) both been briefly researching it though and it seems there’s a connection between taking testosterone and becoming more aggressive. Between the patriarchy that also trains men to be violent to fit in, the trauma that each individual carries, the lack of resources available just in general for trans people to begin with, and this, has anyone else had really dangerous or bad experiences in relationships with trans mascs? Posting here because I in no way mean to add to any stigma or imply that all trans men are violent, but if this is a studied phenomenon why is it not talked about more within the 2SLGBTQIA+ community so there can be more adequate resources so innocent people don’t get caught in the crossfire?
Update to this, the diagnosis ended up being PPD apparently. Cut contact for my own well being.
@azureCoconut2121
Hey there, I’m so sorry you had this awful experience and I hope you’re doing better since posting this. It’s very possible that T can help further externalize more excitable behaviors from people (including anxiety, anger, panic, etc.) Some people need slow, gradual adjustment during HRT to make sure their mind is adapting better with so many changes happening psychologically.
And if he’s really not taking his own behavior and health to account for, even once realizing how he was abusive? More than likely the case T making preexisting problems exacerbated, not so much creating them if that makes any sense.
You’re not shallow or bigoted in any way for making these parallels, so I hope that wasn’t a concern during this post. Thank you for retaining sensibility throughout this, it sounds rough and turbulent. ❤️🩹