(Disappointed vent) Why is it so hard to be social on campus :-(
I’m so disappointed. I really want to join student organizations and clubs this semester and meet people, especially other people in the LGBTQ+ community on my campus. Every single semester, it’s been so difficult, and even this semester, I’m on campus 3-4 days a week, and the day the LGBTQ+ student organization picks to meet every week is the one day I’m not on campus :-( I can’t just drive over because I live with my parents and they don’t know I’m a lesbian and they’ll want me to stay home that day since I was gone for 4 days, and I’ll have so much homework to do. Plus, the LGBTQ+ organization meeting is the only event happening at that specific time, so if I say I’m driving up to campus for something and they check what it is, they’ll know. And the other student organization I was interested in joining is meeting when I’m at work or in class :-( I really want to meet people because this is one of my last semesters on campus but it’s so difficult. If I didn’t live so far away or with my parents it would be so much easier but that won’t be for years.
I’m not completely without hope, I’m going to try reaching out to both student organizations I wanted to join to ask if there’s any way I can still be involved, but this just hurts and I just feel crushed. It just feels like it wasn’t meant to be but I feel so alone all the time and I’ve heard all kinds of things about how hard it is to meet people and make friends after you graduate. Just hurts and I don’t really know what to do :-(
@LostinTranslation90 Is the only time to interact during an event? During my undergrad I was really involved with one club and connected with many others. We had space where people would just drop by and hang out, eat lunch, work on homework etc. It was open 8am - 7 pm most days.
If nothing does change about the 1 day a week thing, can you just plan to be on campus that day? It's quite typical for people to do homework and studying on campus. The library is often needed for journals and books, specific software on computers, profs and TAs have office hours, etc.
I lived with my parents during undergrad, preferred doing homework at home but there were many days I was there for more than 12 hours, plus sometimes went on weekends. Sometimes because I needed things on campus for assignments, sometimes to socialize, meet up with friends or work on an assignment with a few people and often I was doing both while there.
@AffyAvo Thank you 😊❤ I think the only time I can interact with anyone is really during events - it's really hard to talk to people in my classes because of seating and time and having back to back classes. Not impossible, but I'm just not sure how to make it work when there is so little time available before class starts and after it ends. I could try to be on campus that day but my parents make such a big deal about me driving to campus on days when I don't have classes and don't "have" to be there, I think they'd tell me I can't go or at least, they wouldn't want me driving up every week. I pay for gas myself, but they want me to put classes before everything else.
If there are any events happening after my classes, I could easily stick around for those. There was a volunteer opportunity to walk dogs in the spring semester that I really wanted to go to, but my parents turned it down. If that happens again this fall I would definitely go, but so far I haven't seen very many events posted at that time. Still, it could be something to watch out for!
@LostinTranslation90 I hope your parents ease up a bit soon! You're an adult and I know when I was 18-early 20s I felt like a pseudoadult haha but the pseudoadult stage is a stepping stone to full on adult!
Even something simple like doing a quick review group with what you covered in class can be the start of more socializing - once a few people are gathered it often starts to turn into other planning. Maybe your parents would be more receptive to something really gradual like that, staying an hour extra on campus after classes?
Whatever you end up doing I hope you find ways to connect with others, including other LGBTQ members and your parents not give you tough time about it!
@LostinTranslation90
It's unfortunate that the things that interested you were on days you are unable to attend, though I would wonder if you might be able to have a study group or other reason to go to school on the day the other meeting is held, many students even go to campus for the purpose of studying because it's easier to focus and access study materials or get extra support on campus than it is at home. So, if you could find a reason that you felt comfortable providing your parents do you think you would want to spend that day on campus?
Just a thought, I hope you are able to make the meaningful connections you desire regardless. Social well being matters too!
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
