I want to be trans, but I'm very unsure

@Astarothalo I say go for it as long as I makes you happy. And one day, you'll find someone who sees you for who you are and thinks you're beautiful.

Heya,

Based on what you shared, it very much sounds like to me that there is a lot you have to figure out. And there is nothing wrong with that.

You have addressed four main issues throughout your writing:

1, Understanding your (gender) identity

2, Expressing yourself in society and the anxiety that comes with it

3, Social expectations

4, Finding love and creating a family

If you feel like going through these issues one by one in more depth, I am here to support you.

@Astarothalo i understand how this is difficult since you want to fee safe in your decision for the future you want , but just think you jump in relation when you not yourself , and still confused , i think your partner should help you if he or she really like you and love you your soul , i mean you loved in any gender you want to be ,, you still have so many things to be loved for , and be in 22 with no relationship dosn't mean that you will not find if you be yourself , think about yourself and your happiness , you will be even more confident in the way you want to be ,, you still have long life to decide , take your time and don't worry much just follow your heart ...

@Astarothalo I'm literally goes though the same thing rn I really do get it

It sounds like you are struggling to find your true identity right now. While I can't speak for your situation I can speak from my own experience. I had a lot of the same fears you do before I made the leap at age 28. While some of it has been challenging, I still don't regret my decision after 11 years. It has been life changing to say the least. The positive experiences definitely outweigh the challenges by far. It was one of the best decisions I ever made. With that being said, it's not for everybody either. Some do change their minds going into it so it is a decision that should not be taken lightly. Be patient with yourself and follow your heart. ✌️

I would make sure before going forward with any permanent. No confusion. Perhaps find ways to express yourself in the meantime.l, until you have clarity. Take your time to be you.

I am a straight female who is mostly hetero-social. I had few female friends when I was young. I was rejected because my interests, talents and skills were more aligned with the "male" world. Add to this skin conditions that made cosmetics, hair color and such a no go and I did not fit in with what was a huge parts of being "female". Additionally I have a pretty deep voice and get called sir over the phone.

Fortunately I was able to find ways to engage in activities and with people to make meaningful friendships and social circles while being myself. I can remember the time I was in a new choir and the director asked if I would like to be a tenor so I did not have to shift in and out of falsetto. It was so liberating, chiors are so gender sorted I had never even considered it. It might sound trivial, but it was huge for me. I was then using my real voice to share as part of the choir from then on.

I also do bushcrafting and similar outdoor activities with mostly guys. It's nice to make a shelter and cook beans in a pot and drink a few beer and talk about knives and tools and repairing things with people who also do such things and not feel judged. I have made good female friends with other women who are also not stereotypical females. All this to say you are not alone in trying to find you way in a world where we don't all fit the "norms".

I hope you find your way forward to with the clarity needed to make best for you decisions, that will lead to the best life possible. .

@Astarothalo

I just watched a documentary about trans lives, and one person they focused on played the part of a cisgender man, got married, had a family, and then came to a point where they felt like their whole life was a lie and came out as trans. It was heartbreaking because they kept trying to be male, but they really felt all wrong about that. When they finally came out, they had a very tough path ahead. I think the short takeaway message here is, don't life your life as a lie. Take the time you need to figure out who you truly are, and then be that person. It doesn't matter how much time it takes, because you being true to yourself is the best foundation you can have for moving forward.

@GoingInCircles365 aw I know this isn't my thread but this helps alot as someone who also struggles with this

Hi Benjamin,

I know what are you are feeling...... I felt that too. But I'll suggest that you give yourself time... Like six to eight months... If you like dancing or singing or anything go for it. But if you decide your gender identity to be feminine on first place, people around you will be shocked........

Think what would happen to your family members who perceived you as man since beginning and now one day you declare that you are different.

Also, changing gender identity won't change you really...

You'll be same Benjamin for world.

Instead of focusing on your gender identity, you should focus on the things you really love to do and your career.

Just enjoy what you want to do. Atleast for a few months.

Also, I feel that this whole gender identity thing is getting extremely overrated.......

Maybe what are you feeling is result of FOMO. (Fear of missing out)

Just give yourself a few months ....

BTW, I think that you are owner of your body, health. As a adult it's really up to you to decide your future.