How can I accept my biological gender?

@Djeidi what makes you say nothing else is an option for you?

@Djeidi

It can certainly feel like you have no options when the possible solutions you see aren't accessible, but it doesn't necessarily have to be all or nothing. Can you think of ways you could find some middle ground?

It can also be difficult not to end up focused on the things that cause us the most distress and dissatisfaction, but I wonder what are things you do like about yourself and who you are? Perhaps taking time to discover those and give them more of your focus may be a step toward greater self acceptance as well.

I can't give you answers, but I hope if you choose to take the time to think over these questions you will find them useful.

@Djeidi It's hard and really frustrating. Obviously I don't fully understand how you feel. But if you want my advice I say embrace yourself no matter what. Follow your heart.

Find a way to accept it and don’t be so caught up in looks. Hating your body or gender is hate towards yourself. There’s amazing aspects of both genders especially when they get along.

@Djeidi

Firstly, thank you for expressing this. With regards to gender dysphoria, I’m not well versed, but I will try to ease your worries. You deserve to be loved. Do you feel best being non-binary or a preferred pronoun? Distinguishing between these options might help. Feel great as you are with your personal image, as we all come in different shapes and sizes and have our own individual glow. Your body doesn’t need to define your gender. You do and those are your boundaries, even if you haven’t any definitions. We’re always evolving, so we don’t have to be the result. However, we can take steps to feel okay in our own skin when put into environments that make us happy. Stray away from socials if they’re putting you down. Go to somewhere comfortable.

I’d suggest to experiment with clothing and accessories that feels nice against your body or transforms what doesn’t feel nice, a new hairstyle, different perfume (scents always make me feel good about myself) and makeup if surgery isn’t an option. Do what you enjoy against gendered advertisements. Shops are there to have items sold and activities are there to be tried. Best wishes and much love. 👑

@Djeidi do you believe in after life ? It's a big big big test from god , 🙏 Try to accept it, focus on your gender pros and remember that no thing in this world is for one gender ...Have a nice day 💞

@Djeidi

I am sorry you are feeling down right now. Gender dysphoria can be really distressing. I understand why you are looking for ways to learn on how to accept your gender.

All I can say is that things can change. Your circumstances can change. Maybe you can't see it now. You feel like you will never get to transition and that you will hate your life forever, like you are doomed.

But as I said, things get better. Maybe not for now, but it will, in the future; but only if you give it time, and work. Stay strong, you can do this.

@Djeidi have you tried contacting a local LGBT support group? They might be able to help you with contacts are resources to make transition more accessible to you. If not, they will be there for you through peer support and psychological support. I don't know where you live, but you may try to find one next to you. Don't give up hope yet. Everyone deserves to be their true self!

Hi Djeidi,

Thanks for seeking for help at this forum. It is not always easy to do so, as there is so much stigma surrounding trans issues, so I am glad you took the courage to do so.

Before I answer your question, I wanted to note that a lot of answers here have different emphasis based on the commenter's values, and that shift in focus will inevitably give you a different result. Regardless of whichever opinion you resonate with, I wanted you to understand that ultimately, it's only you who can decide what makes the most sense to you. And regardless of what happens down that path, it's always good to keep an open mind, while not letting what others think of you dictate who you are.

Answering your question, I will challenge you that you always have a choice. Choosing to live every day is a choice. Choosing to transition is a choice. Choosing to not transition is a choice. Choosing to be kind to others is a choice. Choosing to be kind to yourself is a choice. Sometimes, some choices in life are less available to you. For instance, if I want to choose to buy a yacht, I probably cannot afford it today, so that is not an option for me. Given that circumstance, it ultimately becomes a question of what I am willing to give up for that goal. Using our yacht example, I may try to work harder to try to earn more, I may try to have more creative ways to get a better paying job, I may decide that the easiest way to get a yacht is to be an escort and earn quick money that way, or maybe I will decide to learn more about investments to grow my money so that one day I will eventually get there. Yes, it will take tine, or maybe I will never get there, but if I wanted a yacht enough, I know I will keep trying, because I have the will for it. So, before saying that you do not have options, consider what is that one other thing you haven't yet tried, that will get you one step closer to reaching for the stars.

As human beings, we can only accept things that we feel are true. We cannot "accept" things that are not true because that wouldn't be "acceptance" - that will be called changing your mind.

One can accept themselves as being transgender, or you can accept yourself as cisgender - these are realities of your own mental state that you have to question yourself deeply to reach your conclusive truth.

You can also accept the fact that you have no means to pursue any means of transition medically, because of the circumstances you have. If this is what you are asking about, then I will say that this is no different than trying to convince yourself not to buy whatever you are wanting from the store - unfortunately, we can't have everything in life after all. And yes, it's probably painful, and maybe you will die from it, just like all those who didn't have enough resources to feed themselves and end up starving to death, or those who didn't have enough resources to cure their sickness and end up getting consumed by their disease. In this unfortunate world of ours, people die every day for various things they needed but was not able to obtain - and yes, they have no choice but to accept poverty because they have no means to change that.

But if you are trans to start with, and you want to convince yourself that you are cisgender instead, then what you are doing is not to convince youself to "accept" anything, but you are asking how others can help you change your mind about the conviction that you are trans. With that, nobody other than yourself can help you convince yourself to change your mind, but we can be supportive of you and walk alongside you during a difficult time, regardless of the direction you proceed in - that is what mental health support is all about. And to me, if you are able to accept yourself regardless of you being trans, cis, gay, les, bi, ace, etc is always going to give you a better mental health outcome than trying to fight with a label every day. Who cares about labels after all, it's always about how you can live a "good" life, however way you define it.

Hope that gives you some clarity regarding what you are trying to do. Best wishes, and good luck! <3