Is Your Family Accepting?

When I came out as lesbian at the age of 15-16 my mom was not accepting of it at first. It took a couple months for her to understand that she did not do anything wrong and it was just who I was. Now let's fast forward to 2019 at the age of 29 I cam out as trans. When I told my mom, her response was I knew you should have been a boy. She still slips and says she instead of he, but she is really trying to get the pronouns right, but she is fully accepting. Her favorite part of my journey so far has been hearing the voice change.

Some of them are, but some of them aren't. Luckily I've learned that I didn't need anyone's acceptance or love but my own :)

I came out at a very young age. Staying closeted wasn't much of an option for me from the get-go, I've been sort of obvious since childhood. There are some kids who adults can just tell are gay. My immediate family is supportive, but we've had some major rough patches. My mother in particular has said just about every "you're killing my daughter" transphobic mom line in the book. It's alright though! I'm happy to be out and proud, and very lucky to have a family that's largely accepting.

It's interesting to read everyone else's responses to this thread :) You're all wonderful, regardless of background.

@DezEisenhour11

Finding out my mom is accepting: her letting me make pride bracelets and explore the history behind it

Finding out my mom isn't accepting: her brushing off my sexuality and talking to her fiancé about something completely unrelated afterwords.

I first came out (kind of) at 11; it was more of a casual conversation in which I dropped it because the topic was related. At first my mother ignored what I said, but I repeated myself because she kept pressing me to admit I was lesbian, or to "prove I was straight." "I don't like guys or girls." "You're too young; you'll know in a few years." "It's normal to have a low libido at your age, and you're a girl." Not even minutes before she was describing protection to me and asking if I watched porn because she was talking about how people my age were "hormonal" and was warning me of the consequences. I think she thought I was denying interest in sex and doing it behind her back. She implied it with her tone of voice. I was young though, so I thought it would eventually happen.

At 14, I found the term asexual, and again my mother had the same exact same conversation as above, but this time I used the term "asexual" and explained what it meant. I was greeted with hostility. "You learned that from Tumblr." Implying asexuality doesn't exist. Mind you, this was 8 years ago and Tumblr hadn't gone as far left as it is now, and LGBT was a very small community compared to, say, Sherlock. My friends were starting to express interest, so at that point, I felt I was no longer "too young," but again, I was open to the fact that it might change.

Nothing above really bothered me, it's understandable my mom would be confused or not believe me, but it's the fact that in her ignoring me, she was pushing me to be in a relationship because she had old-fashioned views and wanted me to marry someone significantly older (think 25+ years) for security/money (which obviously imples sex in return, a thing that I had no interest in and would learn I absolutely hate).

She kept begging, and at this point claiming, "It's okay to be lesbian, just tell me" because I had no interest in guys. She used to be staunchly Christian, and openly made mean spirited homophobic jokes growing up. It was her way of saying, "I'll cut it out if you tell me." If I was lesbian, I'd tell you, I would have told you earlier too. I would not be ashamed of it. At that point, I just made up crushes just to be left alone. She was very persistant about it, but years later she caught on because I still wasn't dating.

She started leaving the house more after her abusive husband's health declined, making friends, etc. She ended up becoming close friends with a man who identified as asexual, and suddenly my mom believed me. Now she uses the term when her friends ask about me, who I'm seeing, etc. She's still somewhat condesending "She says she's asexuuuuaal; she has no interest in the whole dating thing." (For context, she's implying I won't marry; she wants to marry me off so she doesn't have to be bothered with my existance anymore). No, you can't dump me off on a random man, he's an not orphanage.

She still has a hard time accepting it and asks, "Are you really not interested?" followed my inappropriate sexual questions. *sigh* I feel like I'm in an episode of Monty Python or The Three Stooges.

Nope. Came out almost a year ago. I identify as panromantic asexual. Told the family and they blew up at me. My mom told me my sexuality was digusting. We haven't spoken about it since and I'm afraid to. I'm saving up some money but i need to also get a car and make sure i can afford rent and utilities too bc i don't want roommates.

I try not to think about what happened tho and try to move forward as best as i can. Maybe one day it won't be this painful...

Coming out of my big closet, at first it was a negative reaction, and I thought that when they were no longer upset about it/ comfortable it meant a sign of acceptance. But now that I look at it, I see that they are still in denial about my sexuality but not everyone is like that there are some that are accepting so.

@DezEisenhour11 Thankyou for this post! After reading through a few other posts i wanted to add my own :)

I am accepted, my coming out was messy and harsh and odd i wish i didnt have to come out the way i did but I'm glad for it. 🐝✨Here's the tale of my outing

I found out i was different persay when i just turned 11, i never had any internalised homophobia, i never thought being so was wrong or bad. So the second i realised i pretty much accepted myself and thought nothing more of it. Though at the time i suppose i had much larger issues so it wouldn't bother me much anyway 😅. For context i was bullied for my looks for about three years from 11 years old to late 14s and was being hurt by someone at home that also went to school with me.

I accidentally outed myself at school by being naive and asking one person if she had a girlfriend too, as i was the only w|w in the entire year i thought, she said she did and i felt safe and admitted i had one too (we were young but it was fun and cute ☺️) rumours spread like wildfire and i was outed to the entire school by the end of the week. The bullying not only for my looks began then, i was asked so many questions and tormented for it. School was frankly hell.

And when i walked home and got home I'd get bullied by the person i lived with too, constantly blaming me for everyone of their problems despite just living. That person black mailed me for near a year and a half with outing me, i did what they wanted, i cleaned for them, i let them track me, let them stop me from going out with friends........ Or i got outed to my mum.😔 All of that together made existence quite horrid

After the bullying, blackmail and everything i was trapped i knew it weren't long before that person took their words literally and did out me, i thought i wouldn't be accepted by anyone in my family because my grandparents are Christians, my mum isn't but was raised that way it was nailed into my head that no one would accept me. Finally i gave up i couldn't do it anymore...............

I went down stairs after another threat of outing and i came out forcefully myself, i cried my heart out and admitted i liked girls 👭 to my surprise my mom loved me for who i was that was the start of the end of that person using and hurting me as i realised their threats weren't true, it was fear used to control me. I came out and things spiralled with that person, they still blamed me but throughout time they stopped hitting and controlling me, i got the courage to speak up about it years later. Things got better and they've been getting better since. I know how lucky i am to be accepted and loved, I'm grateful the bullying has almost stopped and i have the understanding family i do

Love yourself

And Hopefully the rest follows

My family is textbook white Christians. So no. For as long as I'll be able to help it, no, I won't tell them anything about my business. However in the future that may be difficult if I decide to transition. Perhaps I'll simply have to never see or speak with them again once I'm self sufficient. Unfortunately, I did come out to my mother about one of the two queer factors of myself a few years ago, and I have regretted doing so since. I do not trust this information to be with her, and fear that during a mania episode of her's, she will out me to my violently bigoted family without consent. :)

I came out to my Mormon foster parents that I'm Bi I deeply regret it it did not go well