@FrenchToastClub

I can say from experience and research: boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. Wanting to be a people-pleaser, afraid to say "no", forgiving and forgetting (forgive, but don't forget!), trying to be what others seem to want me to be, or simply reflecting and internalizing too much of other peoples personalities have done a lot of harm in my life, and I've found that these are common for unhealthy INFJ. It's like there's a burning desire to help people who don't want to be helped, then they take advantage, then you think you're the problem...so there's a thing called the "INFJ door-slam" I learned about, which means after a lot of warm acceptance and overlooking of toxic qualities, once you have enough, you cut the person out of your life. They WILL take advantage. And you have to be willing to not "forget" what you forgive, in order to look past what people say to what they actually do. Do they put as much into the relationship? Do they ask forgiveness as you do? Do they try to make it better as you do? Do they respect if you say "hey, no offense, nothing personal but...I just don't feel up to X,Y,Z...", or if you communicate your feelings and they tell you to be different, it's all bad news. I've learned the hard way to forgive but not forget and say goodbye when the boundaries are blatantly ignored. You can only help people who want to be helped. Listening is great, and as a listener, I won't be giving any advice, of course, but in my day-to-day relationships, I struggle with loneliness because I boxed myself into a corner in life, and to become healthy I had to get rid of 90% of my friendships/relationships, and out of a toxic abusive relationship with a person diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. So, without judging anyone with cluster B traits, the key is: do they work on themselves to try to make it better? Do they care about the impact they have on others? If not, I had to learn it's not my obligation to be nice and give to them. It just becomes toxic enabling.