Course 4. Foundational Leadership Principles: (Discussion #3) Lead Yourself
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Great Leadership, unsurprisingly, starts with yourself!
Practice what you preach. Lead by example. I am sure all of you heard these phrases. But why are they so iconic?
Because the journey starts with the first step and you are the person who is taking the initiative to lead -- Start a journey! So, you are the one who needs to take the first step before expecting others to do it.
To start with leading yourself, close your eyes and visualize two people: someone who inspired and encouraged you to be like them, and someone who discouraged you to be not like them.
Then, write down the good qualities of the person who inspired you as well as the qualities of the second person. You do not have to be specific with the details. Just a bulleted list.
Now, compare the list to yourself. Note the good qualities you have, the bad qualities you have, and give yourself a rating on a scale of 1-10. What we just did is identified your strengths and weaknesses and what you need in order to lead yourself. This allows you to create self-awareness.
Self-awareness is key to leading yourself in the right direction. But, leading yourself is not easy. Just being self-aware isn't enough. It's igniting the spark but not enough to catch the fire. To catch the fire, you need to be persistent with your practice, which is regular reflection. Be consistent with monitoring your efforts and holding yourself accountable.
You can't effectively lead others until you know how to lead yourself. That happens through Self-Observant Leadership: when you deeply understand your identity, compare it to your reputation (how others experience you) and then make meaning of the observations, and choose to adapt.
Exercise:
1. Share one area where you scored low on your self-awareness check-in and one thing you will do to improve?
2. Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread!
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@Heather225
Share one area where you scored low on your self-awareness check-in and one thing you will do to improve?
One area I scored low is Laziness/Procastication and Organisation, Tbh I am bad at both. I tend to skip over important ime and waste my time doing nothing alot sometimes which makes me highly unproductive. Also, I am not a very organised person in some aspects of my life which does bother me and also make mes less productive.
I need to start making to-do lists and sticking to following them properly also remove all the agents of laziness from my life like Netflix and maybe my bed (lol). To become more organised maybe I need to plan my life better and be motivated to make some strong changes. If anyone has suggestions in this area pls do share it <3
@Heather225
Share one area where you scored low on your self-awareness check-in and one thing you will do to improve?
One area I scored low is Laziness/Procastication and Organisation, Tbh I am bad at both. I tend to skip over important ime and waste my time doing nothing alot sometimes which makes me highly unproductive. Also, I am not a very organised person in some aspects of my life which does bother me and also make mes less productive.
I need to start making to-do lists and sticking to following them properly also remove all the agents of laziness from my life like Netflix and maybe my bed (lol). To become more organised maybe I need to plan my life better and be motivated to make some strong changes. If anyone has suggestions in this area pls do share it <3
@BookChunky
Procrastination is definitely something I can relate to! I love your plan in improving on it!
@BookChunky
Haha, I'll keep an ear out for anyone who might be looking to buy a bed. 
Just some things that come to mind for me re: to-do list organization:
- For to-do list stuff, do it in a way that feels as easy, natural, and comfortable as possible.
- One way I sometimes start a to-do list is just by writing down everything I'm worried about until I run out of things. Then, I'll go through the list and move items into groups by how soon I want to do them (e.g. high, medium, low).
- Throughout the day, if something comes to mind that I need to do or that's bothering me or that I want to remember, I'll add it to my list
- I tend to split my to-do list into 1) calendar items that have to be done on a certain day/time and 2) open-ended items I'm free to do whenever I feel like it
- Sometimes I'll split big projects into smaller parts and create mini to-do lists (within my main to-do list)
- I try not to start any enormous or really stressful tasks unless if I feel like I have the time, energy, and emotional well-being to make significant progress on them.
@BookChunky
A little something to nudge you in the right direction
Procrastination Discussion
I totally relate to that, sometimes it’s hard not to procrastinate
@Heather225
Questions
Share one area where you scored low on your self-awareness check-in.
To improve my boundary-setting, namely and mostly on the 7 Cups environment community.
What is one thing you will do to improve?
I will be even clearer with my members (particularly the regulars) as to when should they expect a response on my side, since my inbox always gets very full on a daily basis.
@WatchingOverYou
Setting boundaries can be hard, I think it is awesome that you want to work towards improving!
@WatchingOverYou That sounds great to be able to have a buffer for yourself to not feel too stressed or like you're being expected to do too much. 
@WatchingOverYou good luck!!
Setting boundaries can definitely be hard but it’s a great thing to work on
1. Share one area where you scored low on your self-awareness check-in and one thing you will do to improve?
One thing I scored low on in my self-awareness check is confidence, I don't always have a lot of confidence in myself and need constant assurance from others which can negatively impact my leadership skills. One thing I can do to improve is remind myself I am capable, and when doubting myself I can try and think of the whole picture.
2. Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread!
Okay!
@hopedreamlove I went to your profile and looked through your positive reviews, and the consensus seems to be that you are an incredibly kind/warm human being with a lot to offer the world. 
@QuietMagic
Thank you so much, that means a lot to me! I looked through your profile, and you seem like a lovely, very compassionate person! Thank you for all that you do
@hopedreamlove i hope you achieve your goal!
@hopedreamlove
Great reminders!
One thing I need to improve on is setting my boundaries.
I can do this by picking and choosing which activities mean most to me instead of getting neck deep in everything
@lovelyNight9853 Yess! You can do it!
@Irena0225
Thank you!
@lovelyNight9853
YES! I completely relate to that, it is hard to say no sometimes and we want to help in any way we can, but I love that you recognize this about yourself. Well done :)
@KindnessMatters2020
Thank you!
@lovelyNight9853
@lovelyNight9853
Setting boundaries is extremely important, glad you see this as an opportunity to grow!
@lovelyNight9853
Night, that's a great goal, boundaries are so important! I need to work on that too.
@lovelyNight9853
I have the same problem, particularly in 7 Cups.
I get burn-out.
I am not taking new chats during this course...
@lovelyNight9853
Agreed. That self realisation is such an important aspect.
@lovelyNight9853
You can do it!
@lovelyNight9853 Yesss! It was so hard for me to learn that I sometimes need to choose what I have to prioritize. I had to make the tough decision to slow down with 7 Cups chats because my semester got really busy.
@lovelyNight9853
That's a great way to start!
@lovelyNight9853
That’s a great point!
@lovelyNight9853 I understand how this can be challenging as boundaries are not only hard to set but also hard to distinguish. It takes practice but I'm sure you'll do great! Don't forget to listen to yourself too!
@lovelyNight9853
That`s definitely essential! Managing workload and prioritizing what matters to you the most is really important for your mental health and productivity! Well done for your self-awareness <3
I agree with you. You pointed out a very important thing that every one of us should take care of. Good luck to you in your LDP journey! ❤
@lovelyNight9853
I identify with you, thank you very much for sharing
@lovelyNight9853
Completely agree and relate to this.
@Heather225
1. Share one area where you scored low on your self-awareness check-in and one thing you will do to improve?
I brainstormed freely about all of the different managers I have worked with in real life. Below is a list of all of the different behaviors/qualities I came up with, whether they were positive or negative, my self-rating, and a column that inverts any negative responses.
Based on this:
- My best qualities:
- I care about respecting people's feelings by avoiding mocking or making fun of them
- I care about knowing what to do and doing things correctly
- My worst qualities:
- I can be perfectionistic in my expectations of others
- I can be insensitive or unaware when other people are struggling to know or do things
One thing to do to improve: ask/invite people to share how they are feeling and whether they have any questions/concerns/etc. where they would like help
2. Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread!
Will do
@QuietMagic It's amazing when you make this list and actually think about it. It shows experiences are so important, even a bad manager makes us think, let us learn!
@QuietMagic
Glad that you were able to recognize your strengths and areas to grow! Can't wait to see what you do with this information!
@QuietMagic
Wow, you really put a great effort in this, amazing!
@QuietMagic
You are the 360-degree feedback leader !
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/360-degree_feedback
Again, setting an example.
You should teach the LDP 2 course...
@QuietMagic
Very well done! Good job!!
@QuietMagic
This is a lot of effort and very detailed!
@QuietMagic
You put a lot of effort into this which shows you’d make an awesome leader and really care about the qualities you present!
@QuietMagic
Woww! Again, such a well-written and detailed response! Love it!
@QuietMagic
I can see the perfectionism tendency 😁 Comprehensive, tidy and correlated. I guess with perfectionist tendency one tend to expect the same from others?
Superb! ❤
@QuietMagic
Very detailed and very well written!
Share one area where you scored low on your self-awareness check-in and one thing you will do to improve
I think the most important thing I scored low on my self-awareness is communication skills. Actually, my communication skill is bad and I lack the passion to talk with people, so that's why I only talk to people when essential, like when I have to talk to someone for social needs. After attending a business class at my school, I figured out that I am actually bad at it because I couldn't be proactive, and all the other kids seem outgoing.
Lack of this skill makes me bad at organizing events, I always make overlap. So I will improve most importantly to try to break through in my business class, and in daily life, I will try to step out of my comfort zone, try to be more proactive in the social environment but not over-proactive. I definitely need more time to practice it.
@Irena0225
It truly shows courage and strength wanting to get out of your comfort zone. It shows how much you really want to improve!
@Irena0225
It such a good and deep insight about yourself.
@Irena0225
You can do it!!
@Irena0225 You got this! Thanks for sharing ~
@Heather225
10 being the charismatic team player that is a unanimous leader and 1 being the arrogant and hated boss, I would be 8
1) The area to improve would be treating the team equally. Even though someone in the team might stand out as a prospective leader, we must give the others a fair chance.
To improve on it, I can treat every newcomer as I would a veteran.
2) Sure
@DonaldDraper
You are right, sometimes our instinct is to go with the person who seems to bring the most skill to the table, but I have seen a lot of leaders develop because someone gave them a chance to prove themselves. I love that you recognize this and want to work on it. Well done!
@DonaldDraper
Great answer !
Reminds me of "Zen Mind, Beginners Mind", by Shunryo Suzuki.
@Heather225
1. Share one area where you scored low on your self-awareness check-in and one thing you will do to improve?
Speaking up more. I tend to let a lot of things roll off my shoulder even though it bothers me to avoid conflict. Although no one is aware, I am aware and it can have adverse effects on my mental health if I keep doing it. Practicing how to be assertive and speak about how I am feeling is how I plan to improve this area.
@shiningDay80
I hear you! There is a fine line between not wanting to upset people and speaking up, but the fact that you recognize this is something you want to improve is progress already! Slowly, but surely you will see change :)
@Heather225
Share one area where you scored low on your self-awareness check-in.
setting boundaries