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Course 3: PL 102 - Denial & Distractions (Discussion 3)

GlenM August 26th, 2020

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There is a lot to unpack in Chapter 2 and 3. Denial and distraction keep us unaware and stuck in patterns that are not particularly good for us as individuals or communities. In this discussion and others, I'm mostly interested in what you think and the type of ideas that we collectively surface as a group. And a quick note that there are no bad or wrong answers here - the important thing is to share ideas and learn together. ÃÂ

Please read chapters 2 and 3 and then answer the following questions:

1. How would you define denial in your own words? ÃÂ

2. What is the most important thing you learned about things that operate outside of awareness or the unconscious?

3. What do you believe are the top 3 distraction systems? Which one of these is the most powerful and why?

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MistyMagic September 12th, 2020

@GlenM

1. How would you define denial in your own words?

Blanking out something that I cannot change so that it does not exist in my conscious mind. That way it is possible to carry on functioning as normal without that stress, or pain or anger of what I am blocking out.

2. What is the most important thing you learned about things that operate outside of awareness or the unconscious?

These can be very old experiences and so we have learned behaviour that is hidden in our unconscious.

3. What do you believe are the top 3 distraction systems? Which one of these is the most powerful and why?

Food - Food the smell taste and anticipation of food as a distraction. For most it is easy and accessible and thrust at us in the streets and with takeaways and deliveries!
Internet - People crave attention and release and the internet provides all. We feel stressed we check our phones for activity, we get compulsive feelings for sites and check them on and on.

Family - Really family shouldn't be a distraction they should be a focus. But family can distract us from our emotions and help us to relax and heal and feel satisfied.

Listening - One Step At A Time!

1 reply
hopedreamlove September 20th, 2020

@MistyMagic

I love your definition of denial, it can definitely be blanking something out to the point it does not exist in your conscious. Awesome response!

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JaimieF September 13th, 2020

1. How would you define denial in your own words?

Denial is when one does not acknowledge some truth about themselves or other external factors.

2. What is the most important thing you learned about things that operate outside of awareness or the unconscious?

I liked learning that the more we ignore unintegrated pieces of ourselves, the more stunted and immature they are. I hadn't considered that these unconscious parts of ourselves still have significant effects on our lives when we don't attend to them properly.

3. What do you believe are the top 3 distraction systems? Which one of these is the most powerful and why?

I'd say the top distraction systems are food, wealth, and accomplishments. Wealth seems to be the most powerful because we do need a certain amount of wealth to survive and thrive in our society. Even after being financially stable, people tend to be distracted by wealth because it is so powerful. However, while wealth can help us get what we want, it isn't actually what we want, and that's easy to lose sight of.

1 reply
rebecca947 September 22nd, 2020

@JaimieF

Your answer to 2 is so very true, I love that thinking. It's interesting how "out of sight, out of mind" doesn't apply to this scenario. Wealth is a major distraction for sure, we want more and more of it but for what? Like you said, it's very easy to lose sight of the actual things we wanted. Very thoughtful answers!

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freshMint9376 September 14th, 2020

1. How would you define denial in your own words?

Knowing something to be true, but lying to yourself about it.

2. What is the most important thing you learned about things that operate outside of awareness or the unconscious?

That it can be a learned behaviour.

3. What do you believe are the top 3 distraction systems? Which one of these is the most powerful and why?

Social media, video games, friends/family. Friends/family are the most powerful since they have physical influence over you.

1 reply
rebecca947 September 22nd, 2020

@freshMint9376

Friends and family can indeed be a big distractor for sure!

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PeaceLoveandPaws September 15th, 2020

@GlenM

1. How would you define denial in your own words?

Denial is the process of pushing things away from our conscious thoughts in order to maintain a sense of balance.

2. What is the most important thing you learned about things that operate outside of awareness or the unconscious?

That, without recognition and change, we are apt to repeat behaviors that can be unhealthy because we have adapted what is acceptable and comfortable from childhood experience.

3. What do you believe are the top 3 distraction systems? Which one of these is the most powerful and why?

Accomplishments for the sake of accomplishments, video games/app, and social media. I think social media is the most powerful distraction system, and the most destructive, for many reasons. Many people post a ‘highlight reel on social media that can lead us to compare ourselves in a negative light. We often dont consider the most successful appearances may have a deeply troubled relationship, may have a mountain of debt, or may be usings so many filters to achieve that glowing, naturally young look. Social media works to gain our trust through paid influences that recommend everything from high end cosmetics to expensive energy drinks that are likely unhealthy. Social media is great for connecting us with others who may have similar interests but some of those interests are unhealthy, like pro ED profiles and private groups. Some sites give anonymity, which can be a positive or a negative thing. Its easy to create an anonymous profile to spread love or to spew hatred.

2 replies
rebecca947 September 22nd, 2020

@PeaceLoveandPaws

"to maintain a sense of balance"- love that. It sounds like denial is an action that we do to control our life as it is in that moment. Our minds like to trick us into thinking that we thrive from comfort, and so it's very true, we repeat behaviours because we know what to expect. I like your answer "accomplishments for the sake of accomplishments"- we tend to forget why we're doing what we're doing, and instead aiming for the feeling of elation when we accomplish something. It's very true with social media too that people can create anonymous profiles for the sake of doing what they want to do. It gives users a lot of control- but on the flip side, people don't like strict rules that restrict their actions, either. I love how thoughtful your response was, and how etremely detailed. <3

1 reply
PeaceLoveandPaws September 23rd, 2020

@rebecca947

Thank you.

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positivePumpkin22 September 16th, 2020

@GlenM

1. How would you define denial in your own words?

Denial for me, means refusing to accept reality or keeping yourself distracted from reality to attain something (most often to feel better or to focus on what we can change).

2. What is the most important thing you learned about things that operate outside of awareness or the unconscious?

The unconscious can be a learnt behaviour.

3. What do you believe are the top 3 distraction systems? Which one of these is the most powerful and why?

1. Food : food is essential for survival however certain food are made in such a way that it is addictive. Falling in the trap of food is way more easier and more dangerous than other distraction systems.

2. social media : The way it slowly slowly start to make us feel like it is an important part of our life and drains a lot of our time.

3. School : school takes up a huge part of our childhood and teenage. In fact our lives revolve around school now.

2 replies
rebecca947 September 22nd, 2020

@positivePumpkin22

Addiction and how our minds are wired can be hard to get out of, and indeed a distraction from life. We are addicted for a reason, and oftentimes, it's a struggle to maintain control. Education can indeed also be a big distraction, especially if your career aim doesn't need it. We're often told that education is the only way to success, and that thought in itself can be a distraction. I know it was for me, that's for sure.

1 reply
positivePumpkin22 September 22nd, 2020

@rebecca947

Yes I totally agree. Great insights Rebecca! I admire this post of your so much!!

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ahealingEndoftherainbow22 September 17th, 2020

@GlenM

1.How would you define denial in your own words?

Denial for me is refusing to acknowledge certain things that needs to be accepted. Something like ignoring it or convincing ourselves that it isn't the truth

2.What is the most important thing you learned about things that operate outside of awareness or the unconscious?

They're mostly learned behaviours thay we adopted from experienced and continue doing without being aware of it

3.What do you believe are the top 3 distraction systems? Which one of these is the most powerful and why?

Social media, creative hobbies, books/music, travel. Social media is really a powerful distraction system because it does create a sense of not being alone. Personally, my favourite distraction system would be books/music.

1 reply
crystalclearnow September 21st, 2020

@ahealingEndoftherainbow22

I agree- denial not acknowledging and accepting the truth is something a lot of us do. Including me laugh but it a great point.

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CheeryMango September 17th, 2020

@GlenM

Noni

1. How would you define denial in your own words?

Denial to me means refusing to believe or accept something as is

2. What is the most important thing you learned about things that operate outside of awareness or the unconscious?

We are more likely to stick with them due to the sense of familiarity it gives us and how comfortable it feels being there no matter how bad it may be for us

3. What do you believe are the top 3 distraction systems? Which one of these is the most powerful and why?

I believe the top 3 distraction systems are Online Distractions, Accomplishments and Social Media. I think Social Media is the most powerful distraction system because it takes so much away from us as well as it gives us so much too.

1 reply
rebecca947 September 22nd, 2020

@CheeryMango

Random but why did you write Noni xD Very true that we stick to behaviours that are comforting to us, and I think the reason for that is the sense of control and knowledge of what to expect. Our brains biologically don't tend to do so well in unknown situations. Social media is a hard thing to maintain and keep a balance of, because as you said, it gives us so much but takes away so much. The only thing is, we don't seem to know what's too much. <3

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shiningSound31 September 18th, 2020

@GlenM

1. How would you define denial in your own words?
Denial is a process through which we deny or push out of our awareness, the things about ourselves that threaten ourselves and causes us anxiety.
There are certain parts or emotions of us on which when we acted upon in the past especially when we were young brought to us difficult experience and thus, we placed those parts in our unconscious bag.

Later, whenever we would experience those emotions or parts of us in our unconscious bag, we feel anxiety. Our body has an internal mechanism to reduce this anxiety and the emotions or parts of us that kicked this anxiety. This internal mechanism is called denials and it helps to deny or push out of our awareness, the things about ourselves that threaten ourselves and causes us anxiety.

2. What is the most important thing you learned about things that operate outside of awareness or the unconscious?

Things that operate outside of awareness or the unconscious are still the part of our identity and they are of two kinds. The first is the kind of things like eating, driving, typing, writing, walking etc. that are initially learnt through conscious efforts, concentration and hard-work but these later moved to the unconscious mind so that the activities (like eating, driving, typing, writing etc.) which once were learned through great efforts become automatic. The second are emotions (like anger etc.) or those parts of us which when we acted upon in the past especially when we were young caused us unpleasant and difficult experiences. Resurfacing of these emotions (like anger etc.) or parts of us triggers anxiety. Triggering of these anxiety activates the automatic process of denial where a person deny or push out of her/his awareness, the things about herself/himself that threaten herself/himself and causes her/him anxiety.


3. What do you believe are the top 3 distraction systems? Which one of these is the most powerful and why?

Top 3 distraction systems are Social Media, Food and Online Games.
I think Social Media is the most powerful distraction system. People in general, aspire the attention of other people. They aspire to have the same attention as received by celebrities and influential people. They want others to think that they are living their lives in the way celebrities and influential people live. Social Media provides us with a gateway or a platform or an opportunity to present ourselves (through various features like posting a picture, stories or tweet etc.) like celebrities, politician, and influential people. Social Media also provides an opportunity for people to closely observe and interact with famous celebrities, friends and family members or acquaintances. Social Media also provides an opportunity to people to express their idea or opinions on a wide range of issues (Movements like #Metoo are successful because of social media.) or display their talent to millions or billions of people (TikTok has made so many people successful). The carefully and scientifically curated features of social media capture the aspirations, urges and emotional needs of billions of people across the globe.

2 replies
hopedreamlove September 20th, 2020

@shiningSound31

Wow, your response is extremely well written and thought out! I definitely enjoyed reading it, good job!

1 reply
shiningSound31 September 20th, 2020

@hopedreamlove

Thank You, Dream heartsmileyheart Your kind and warm appreciation means a lot to me! Thank you heartangelheart

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Beaconx September 18th, 2020

@GlenM

1. How would you define denial in your own words?

Denial is when you try to believe within yourself that something is not true.


2. What is the most important thing you learned about things that operate outside of awareness or the unconscious?

Things that operate outside my awareness are things that I don't put act upon by my conscious mind. They also be things I have master.

3. What do you believe are the top 3 distraction systems? Which one of these is the most powerful and why?

(a)School - I discovered school to one of the greatest distraction. This is because we measure our success, wisdom, smartness, fortunes, relevance among other things by grade which is not true in itself to determine success in real life. I think many are distracted chasing the Shadow of grades that will not bring real satisfaction in Life.


(b) Social Media - this is also one of the most powerful distractions! We are living in the digital age and being able to talk to people in an instant, search and watch any videos and scrolling through pages designed to make you feel good - all at our fingerprints is truly a dangerous thing that can get you more distracted.

(c) Food - sometimes people may get hungry and spend more time worrying about what to eat instead of having definite plan of kind of food to eat. With the capitalist system of economy, goods produce for eating are mainly to appeal to taste buds and not satisfying or nourishing.
People can also loose how the food they eat actual taste if distracted by watching Video or doing something else while eating.

1 reply
hopedreamlove September 20th, 2020

@Beaconx

I definitely agree with you that all of those can be huge distractions, especially school! I like how you put "chasing the shadows of grades!"

shiningDay80 October 6th, 2020

@Beaconx

School can be a huge distraction. It could also be the foundation of our insecurities from such a young age. "I have to do extremely well so I can eat lunch with the teacher". You know, something like that. So much pressure and school has had such a negative impact on some kids, where they do not even want to go to college. There are some people who do extremely well without going. It all just depends really. Thanks for your insight!

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hopedreamlove September 20th, 2020

1. How would you define denial in your own words?

I would define denial as refusing/not being able to accept something that actually happened, to the point where you might have no memory of it at all.

2. What is the most important thing you learned about things that operate outside of awareness or the unconscious?

The most important thing I learned about things that operate outside of awareness or the unconscious can be behaviors we have learned that we might get so used to that they move to our unconsciousness.

3. What do you believe are the top 3 distraction systems? Which one of these is the most powerful and why?

I believe the three top distraction systems are social media, accomplishments, and school. I think accomplishments are the most powerful because they can feel good, and it can be easy to want to complete the next one, and then the one after that, and then another one. Accomplishments can also give people a sense of purpose, which can feel incredible, so accomplishments can become something we chase, and can be so distracting.

1 reply
rebecca947 September 22nd, 2020

@hopedreamlove

"to the point where you might have no memory of it at all"- that's an interesting point you bring up. Has it occured to you before? I can't seem to think of an example. Accomplishments can be a tricky thing to balance (everything in life is about moderation and balance!) for sure.

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