Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #5) Approaching Conflict Resolution: Dealing with Issues Directly
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Any  community is going to go through challenges and sometimes people are going to be in conflict with one another or have disagreements. All of that is okay and should be welcomed and even expected. The trick is to figure out what is the best way to address these issues so that we can continue to grow individually and as a community. Most ethical codes for professions recommend approaching the person that you have an issue with to try to resolve it with them first. If you feel safe and comfortable, then that is the best way to go. Here are some other helpful guidelines for conflict resolution brought to you by @Tazzie (original post)!
â  Step back and slow down
â  Avoid repeating unhelpful behaviors in conflicts.
â  Habits can be changed through awareness.
â  Think before you put your words across in order to avoid something that will escalate the conflict.
â  Show clarity regarding your intentions and goals for the conversation
â  Avoid blaming or changing another person's point of view.
â  Listen to learn something new and express your views and feelings professionally.
â  Avoid assumptions and ask questions to explore the other persons story
â  Listen to the person on the opposite end as they will more likely try to understand you.
â  Do not convince them you are right.
â  Be aware of potential barriers to listening.
â  Express your feelings without holding the other person accountable for the conflict
â  Use I statements to express yourself.
â  State a feeling rather than judging.
â  Be responsible for your assumptions
â  On the internet, messages can be interpreted in several ways. To think that your beliefs and conclusions about  others are the truth, will only escalate the conflict.
â  Share your interpretation of the messages received.
â  Find a common ground
â Reaching a common ground will make it easier to resolve the conflict and will diffuse defensiveness.
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Question time!
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
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@Heather225
I have encountered conflict resolution several times. As the eldest of my siblings, i have always been the one to find a common ground, convey my viewpoints calmly and try and reach a mutual agreement.
Another recommendation could be to try and be compassionate and open to properly comprehend the other individual’s point.
@Heather225
1.) Have you ever been on either side of a conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it? Yes, I have. I don't try to convince them that I'm right, but express myself with explanations and listen to them calmly.
2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution? Yes, give each other some space and speak only when things have cooled down.
@Helpingheart23
i agree with all the points you brought.
@Heather225
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
actually not in 7 cups but in real life! all I do in this case , is focusing on what the problem is actually and trying to stay calm , understanding the other side by asking them relatable questions.
2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
maybe getting more time to sleep on it and being thoughtful of what we say .
@Heather225
Question time!
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
- I've had experience with conflict resolution within friend groups more than professional settings. The most helpful techniques I used that were mentioned here are "show clarity regarding your intentions and goals for the conversation" and "find common ground".
2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
- I agree with all of the tips included and believe they're all efficient
@SirenOfSerenity
Great answer, amigo!
@Heather225
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
Ah, yes. It happened on 7 cups itself. We resolved it by talking it out and also, apologizing to each other sincerely. The key was to accept both our short-comings and become better buddies beyond it.
2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
According to me, the best way to take a breather and then go again because during a heated conversation, the brain is on attack mode and is using anything and everything against the other person but if you take a breather, pause for a second, the brain suddenly hits a kind of zero and your ability to think rationally comes back to you and hence, you can think of the ways you were wrong and try to find a solution.
@KimByeongIn
steping back and allowing a cooling off time is important to let the talks continue once things calm down.
@Heather225
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
I've been once. I tried to listen to each side and validate their feelings and points of view. I tried using de-escalating techniques in order to calm down the environment.
2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
I think having another person to handle this situation besides us and our help, can be helpful, maybe asking for a mod to help.
@Heather225
.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
I have been in conflict with my family before usually if they talk about something I don’t agree with and sometimes I get emotional at that moment to properly say how I feel. But I’ve been practicing this little by little and it would at least not build up the tension but even after I day my feelings if they continue on I would take a step back and just acknowledge their feelings as well.
2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
One tip that might not be included is to first get a deeper understanding of the other party’s feelings if they start the conflict before reacting and saying something back. If you are the one feeling the want to start further conflict, to imagine how the situation would look like if you lingered it and making the choice to change that situation by taking deep breaths and doing what a true leader would do.
@Heather225 Have you ever been on the other side of conflict resolution? How did you solve it?
Yes, I did have a conversation where mine and the member's views didn't really match (during a session) my perspective on things. It was resolved as I took a step back and tried understanding their point of view rather than proving my point and hurting them or increasing the conflict.
Stepping into someone else's shoes or understanding their point of view is something we can do to resolve a conflict. We all have different views and perspectives, and it is not necessary to always have someone agreeing to us. So, we can take a step back, give others the chance to explain, try and understand and resolve the conflict
@yourbuddy30
I really like the idea of trying to step into someone shoes to see things better.
@Heather225
1) Conflict resolution is aimed at listening to both sides, if there is a conflict, there is disagreement where one or both parties are not listening or taking any action, as a mediator (although I work with children) it is important to it down both parties, listen to both sides whilst ensuring the other party is quiet whilst the other speaks, even is cases of disagreement, and from there, I would ask both parties for any ideas on how we can resolve the situation.
Conflict resolution doesn't always have a happy ending, but it aims to settle differences
1 not in real life but on cups . I had to step back to calm down and then we were able to talk it out. Now we are on good terms
2 step back and allow a cooling off period. Be opened minded about the problem and willing to work together to find a solution to the problem.
