Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #3) The Detriments of Gossip
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Our next objective in this course is to master effective communication skills for healthy interpersonal and professional relationships.
Please watch this video
1. Why is gossiping bad?
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
3. Please reply to 3 of your peers  in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
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@Heather225
1. Why is gossiping bad?
Gossiping is sadly the most chosen activity in a social setting to "keep the conversation going" but it creates a negative impact around ourselves as well as others. By gossiping, we are putting an impression of being judging and having opinions about others and their lives. Gossiping has ill impacts on our character and leads to serious trust issues in the long run.
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
"Well, I've always found it easy to talk to XYZ(Emily)" Taking a stand for the people that are being talked about.
@KimByeongIn
i also liked how the video said the people were easily likesble when you don’t talk bad about anyone and people can build trust around you which does align with you having a good character and good impressions with others.
@KimByeongIn seems like we both believe in taking a stand for people!
@KimByeongIn
Taking a stand for person is a good way on keeping the chat positive.
@Heather225
.Why is gossiping bad?
Gossiping is bad because not only does it negatively affect the person of topic but it also affects you and the other people talking about that person. It was interesting learning that science backed up a study where people will subconsciously dislike you if you talk bad about that person. It is sadly something very easy to do so like the analogy the video used of it as like eating sugar or candy. It’s something people like once it starts because it fulfills the desires of connection and being noticed by people. Though it only gets worse in the long run,
List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
A statement I like that I learned from the video goes along the lines of “We don’t have enough information of the person and their perceptions or why they did what they did so we can’t say anything in their prescience.” It’s a good clear statement that stands one’s ground and at the same time bot making anyone in particular feel bad and letting them know it’s not right to assume something about someone without better understanding. From there to talk about general topics like health travel food and animals I think I’d another good topic too.
@Mari228 I agree with the statement. We never truly know what people go through or how they would justify their actions and hence it would be wrong on our part to judge them or gossip on that particular discussion
@Mari228 I agree. It sometimes makes me sad that people are unaware of how gossip affects them and not just the person they're talking about. :(
@Heather225 I personally believe that gossiping is bad. I feel we are no one to judge another person for their actions. Nonjudgmental attitude is very important being a listener here at cups. Members have various problems to deal with and it would be wrong on our part to judge them for it. We must try and make the member feel comfortable in talking to us.
I usually take a stand for people being gossiped about.The part of the video where she says we can stand up for them is something I truly believe in, and I would continue to do it within cups or even outside cups. My parents always tell people I hate gossiping and I would always stick to that attitude
@yourbuddy30
You have a very good point here, we have no right to judge people in the real world, never mind the people we don't even know and communicate with online, we never know what people are actually dealing with.
The most dangerous part? They could be at serious and immediate risk of harm by themselves or others and if they don't tell us, we don't even know, and what we say can have dangerous consequences.
If someone tries to gossip about someone to me, my simple reply is "I don't want to hear it, you have no right to judge others, focus on improving your own life than getting involved in other people's lives"
Nowadays, nobody does gossip to me because my feelings are very well known to the few people I speak to.
Congratulations on passing by the way :)
@iCareUK Thank you so much care! I am happy we have the same point of view in this
@yourbuddy30 wow, I admire how you chose to stand for people who others gossip about <3 that's powerful, buddy! <3
@CosmicMiracle Awesome, I like this, too
@yourbuddy30
I agree that approaching with non- judgmental mindfulness is important
@Heather225
@Heather225
1. Why is gossiping bad?
Gossiping is a form of triangulation, it is dangerous, can become very inaccurate, and has the potential to cause harm, as well as a negative environment.
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
Gossiping is designed to make someone who isn't present look bad, and us look good.
@iCareUK
I really like your point of view on this.
Me too!
@iCareUK
very true! it is a form of triangulation
@iCareUK
I really like your wording!
@iCareUK
Thank you for sharing your insights on this post, very well said!
1 gossiping makes someone look bad and make people not trust you.
2 I don't know the other person's perspective, so I prefer to not discuss what I think they were thinking or feeling in their absence.
@Goalsforlife that is a wonderful choice of statement :)
@Goalsforlife
very true & great statement!
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I was never a fan of discussing other people and what they do with their lives unless said people are present, and this includes celebrities. If I want to learn from their life experiences, I can always read about them and I've always felt like it's unfair to talk about someone who isn't there. It's counterproductive to open communication.
The statement that I love about the video: "Gossiping is much easier to do than not do"
Because of our hunger to connect and communicate, or just foster bonds with people, gossiping is one of the most common conversation starters among small groups of people. In our goal to feel like we belong to that group, we forget that gossip is not a nice thing to do. It takes practice to police ourselves with how we communicate but if we stay true to what is right, then it can be done.
@CosmicMiracle
so true, it is easier to gossip than it is to not! great insight
@CosmicMiracle
Gossip hurts, its mean, cruel and can really affect an individual on their self worth and it also creates mob mentality. All in all, gossip is for the people who deem themselves weak but want to be the loudest in the room, spreading fake truths.
@Heather225
1. Why is gossiping bad?
Gossiping is bad because it is toxic and harmful to others and makes you look negative too.
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
"I don't know enough about this situation to comment on it."
