Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #3) The Detriments of Gossip

@Heather225

1. Why is gossiping bad?
- It's immoral, unethical, dishonest.
- It poisons relationships in a group.
- If I say something bad about an absent person, my interlocutor unconsciously will think I am a bad person, and will assume I will also gossip about them, so won't trust me anymore.
- So generalized gossip promotes distrust among members of a group

2 A statement I learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies:

"I don't know enough of the situation to comment on it"

@WelcomeToChat

Ultimately, it makes you seem like the bad guy, not them! That's always a great thing to keep in mind!

@WelcomeToChat

I like the quote that you bring up. It brings up a good point about we don't know all the details.

@Asherwolfice

Thank you !

@WelcomeToChat

👏👏

@WelcomeToChat

Great answers. Very accurate❤️ love it!

@ouiCherie

Merci beaucoup, Chérie !

@WelcomeToChat

ahahaa... de rien 😃

Bonne Année! ❤

@WelcomeToChat

You sum it up really well, great response

@considerateParadise6717

Thank you !!!

@WelcomeToChat

I like that you use the sentence "I don't know enough of the situation to comment on it". It seems to be the moral here!

@Heather225

1. Why is gossiping bad?

Gossiping is bad because it's toxic and it hurts others.

2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!

"I don't know enough about the situation to comment on it"

@Vintagechoc Yeah, you understand the message in the video.

@Vintagechoc I agree with what you say about gossiping. It is very hurtful.

@Vintagechoc That statement is so valid. That's a great way to tackle that sort of a situation. Thanks for sharing ~

@Heather225

1. Why is gossiping bad?

Gossiping can spread false information which can be very harmful. Gossiping feeds more gossiping, it creates a toxic environment in which people do not trust each other anymore “If you gossip about them, you gossip about me”.

2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!

I don't know enough about the situation to comment on it

@amiablePeace77

I like how you brought up that gossiping creates mistrust between people!

@amiablePeace77 good insights into why gossiping is bad and how to get out of it.

@Heather225

Questions

1. Why is gossiping bad?

Gossiping is bad and toxic, because it is meant to spread often guessed information about someone else who is not present to defend him/herself and his/her position. It is bad and should be highly discouraged. If I gossip at work with some colleagues there about another colleague, I should only expected them all to gossip about me while I am not present and the "opportunity" to gossip comes around. Gossip is toxic, an unfair thing to do, and is also easy to do that not to do, hence why it should be stopped, a talk at a time.

2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
"Studies show that if you say something negative about someone else, the person you're saying it to subconsciously places you with that same negative trait."

1. Why is gossiping bad?

-- Because it subconsciously makes the person you're gossiping with lose their trust on you. We learnt this in retail industry customer handling trainings. If a customer hears you gossiping with your colleague about another customer, they'll feel insecure around you because they'll fear you will gossip about them too in their absence. Gossiping is toxic, unproductive, judgemental, hurtful, and shows our character. If you gossip with your friend about someone, be prepared to be gossiped about in your absence by that same friend too!

2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!

"I haven't been in his or her situation to make any comments about them".

@peacefulWarrior10

great response, you are a genius at this

1. Why is gossiping bad?

Gossiping is a very negative and toxic habit. It is hurtful, and it puts the subject of the gossip in bad light. It can also make people dislike you and trust you less.

2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!

“I don’t know the other person’s perspective, so I prefer not to discuss what they were thinking or feeling in their absence.”

@NorahListens nicely expressed. Very much to the point.

@Heather225

1.Gossiping is bad because it makes other people think that you're gossiping behind their back, too.

2. If someone begins a gossiping, i can say that i don't have an opinion on this statement or say something good about the person being gossiped.

Gossiping is bad because it makes someone else look bad and it makes people trust you less

A statement is "I don't know enough about the situation to comment on it"

@Ginevra962 True! And people still don't realize just how harmful it can be. Thanks for sharing ~

@Heather225

Gossiping is detrimental as it can very easily be malicious, it also spreads misinformation that, even unintentionally, can severely hurt another person.

We do not talk about the other man without his presence because we do not know his side.

whatev as long as it's not either sexual harassment or something you found out from severely invading my privacy

and by the way -- when people discuss what you think or feel, they're probably worried about you or trying to figure out how to help without putting you on the spot, by getting another opinion from a trusted friend. it should be easy to tell what's malicious and what isn't. i'm not innocent either but really? is anybody able to actually see things for what they are?

@dworth257 I agree, there's a difference between gossiping and discussing someone for a particular reason for a good reason.

1. Why is gossiping bad?

It can be hurtful to people and it can create a distrustful, toxic envirnoment.

2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!

I actually think some caution needs to be used with some of the suggestions. When dealing with health issues some of the things suggested can be a sore spot and I also find some opinions aren't well recieved in some circles. Changing the subject can be a good way to move onto something else, but taking a bit of care with what to switch to is also a good idea. Instead of saying something like what do you do to stay in shape (which is fine in some situations, but not all) a safer topic would be to ask someone about a hobby.

@Heather225

1. Why is gossiping bad?

Cos it leaves a negative impression of self.

2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies! Gossiping is negative

@Heather225

1. Why is gossiping bad?

It makes you and the people who engage in it seem like negative people, and even though you may be just expressing opinion or anger in the heat of the moment, it becomes a habit, and nobody wants to me near someone who will talk badly about them if they upset them.
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!

It will leave you and the people you speak with in a negative state, causing others to associate that negativity with you and the people you speak with.

1: It's bad as it makes a negative environment and makes you look like someone you can't trust that much at all.

2: To change the subject to something else so that it can be more positive of a conversation.

@Heather225

Gossiping is bad because it's based on judgements of people about a person when they have no idea about the reason of the actions which are being judged.

The statement from the video which can help in eliminating gossips is: how would you feel if somebody else talks about you negatively behind your back.

We really need to think about how the judgements we make can have an impact on the person and how they are not always accurate.

@Affliction1

Do you there are ways to make an evironment feel less judgementally?

@Asherwolfice

Well, as a very non-judgemental person myself, I haven't had a huge urge to judge someone but I feel like that's all about personal opinions. Most people tend to be judgemental and if they're actually trying to judge you and be obvious about it, I don't think there's much that can be done about it.

However, if a person fears that they are judgemental and want to change that, then that starts with self realization and will to change their opinions. The atmosphere and the environment changes with the person responsible for it.

Now, that's just what I believe but I'm sure there will be many valid points that others might have to add to that which I missed upon :)

Why is gossiping bad?

It's harmful and hurtful and never necessary. It's rude and makes others lose their reputation and ability to defend themselves.

2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!

"I dont know enough of the situation to comment on it"

@Heather225

Gossiping is bad because it usually hurts other people's feelings and also it hurt their mental health.

Because I don't know the other person's prespective, I would prefer to avoid any statement.

@queenviebsonly This was into the point and I have the same opinion!