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Aqua at sea

aquaaaaa March 30th

I guess I'd take a crack at making one of these posts.. I hope I'll be able to just be myself and let my thoughts out.


I have so many things that are on my mind and only rarely do some get let out through my mouth so perhaps instead I'll type them out for a change.


TWs just in case


I don't really know who to tag here but if you wanna respond go for it πŸ’™


πŸ’™πŸ«‚πŸ’™πŸ«‚πŸ’™πŸ«‚πŸ’™

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aquaaaaa OP March 30th

I don't really know what's wrong today but my hands and soles feel like there's knives trying to stab out of them, I have legs of lead and my heart feels heavy yet light, it's being clutched and stabbed and my head is spinning and hurting too. I only really feel this way when I'm really sad or worried but yet nothing has went wrong today. maybe my subconscious is telling me something.

lately it's just been a feeling of saudade and staircase wit. sprinkle in irony too.

aquaaaaa OP March 31st

please.. im not a lab experiment..

aquaaaaa OP March 31st

im starting to lose myself to those thoughts again. im losing my distractions and my safe spaces arent cutting it either. it feels as if every step i take comes at a cost and im barely affording those. the ropes that are thrown down to me only drag me down further.

1 reply
aquaaaaa OP March 31st

everytime i talk about one of the issues im having it feels as if im having a debate to prove myself. yet silver tongued me somehow struggles to articulate and express herself.

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aquaaaaa OP March 31st

If I could choose, I'd be a flower. I'd bloom with so many of these tears. But instead I'm a cactus, drowning in so many of these tears.

aquaaaaa OP April 1st

I really thought things were looking up again.

but now I can't even get out of bed

aquaaaaa OP April 1st

tw

what do i do? i didnt think itd get like this again, its scaring me too. i dont think i can do it much longer. but ill stay strong for my friends and my family and for myself.

aquaaaaa OP April 2nd

I feel alright :) πŸ’™

it won't last but that's okay.Β 

aquaaaaa OP April 6th

im tired

i feel like shattered glass

aquaaaaa OP April 12th

why am I always so stupid to ever think things would look up

it's not like they ever did

LoveMyMoonflowers April 19th

@aquaaaaa

aqua friend πŸ’• me hopes me is not intruding/invading this corner or anything πŸ’œ but if i am πŸ’œ i hope you know it okie to get my post here flagged/reported if it feels random/makes aqua friend uncomfy or anything okie…? πŸ’• (i also hope what i just said makes sense :/ i wish i knew how to explain things properly. lol.)Β 

me knows i’ve been away for a long time and i probably will pop in and out of cups, the way i’ve been doing for a while now. πŸ’œ i’m not sure why :') but… idk, that’s just what i do nowadays. πŸ’• …i guess. :')Β 

me just wanted to peekk in here and let you know i been thinking of you friend, and i been hoping your trying to take care of you (?) πŸ’œ because you deserve kindness friend and you deserve care πŸ’• even if you don’t see/believe that right now. πŸ₯Ί lots of love to you, aqua πŸ’• your in my thoughts.Β 

- ni πŸ’œ

3 replies
aquaaaaa OP April 28th

@LoveMyMoonflowers

ni friend πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™ me really really really appreciates you being here a lot, and don't worry you're not intruding at all πŸ’™

I'm so sorry it took me so long just to reply πŸ’™ me hopes that's okay and you're doing good these days

I get being in n out of cups πŸ’™, I guess I kinda did that too by disappearing for a week ish.. now that I think about it I don't know why I did it and coming back everything just feels so distant n I really hope maybe I just popped in at the wrong hour

thank you so much ni friend πŸ’™ it feels nice knowing that people care and I really needed that :) πŸ’™ and you're right about taking care of myself.. I should really do that lol, but don't worry I know I'll make it through πŸ’™πŸ’™ I hope for the same to you, you deserve nothing but the very best, kindness and care, I've been thinking lots of you too and I really really wish you the very best in everything because you deserve it and you have my word for it πŸ’™πŸ’™ lots n lots of love to you too ni friend πŸ’™ I'll always be here for you, and thank you so much for being here for me too πŸ’™

here's a little quote I found about friends

"I hope you're okay out there, I hope the sun is shining on your face and you are breathing deeply. I miss you" πŸ’™

3 replies
LoveMyMoonflowers April 29th

@aquaaaaa

aww you don’t have to be sorry friend πŸ’• it’s okie, it may have taken a while to reply but that’s okay πŸ’œ seeing + reading your note still brought a smile to my face and sunshine to my day, so thank you πŸ₯ΊΒ 

i think i understand that tbh, coming back and everything feeling distant πŸ’œ i think it’s okay to take breaks from cups sometimes, sometimes we have a clear reason like we want to focus on our offline life… or sometimes it’s kinda just a feeling that we should leave for a bit, idk πŸ’•Β 

it’s okay me understand how taking care of self can be hard :') you defo not alone in that friend πŸ’œ but me believes in you, me believes you can make it through too. πŸ₯ΊΒ 

thank you so much πŸ₯Ί for your v kind words and for being here too friend πŸ’œΒ 

awww. that’s so sweet :') i think that quote really, idk sums up? i think it kinda sums up how one feels when they think of their friend, who is maybe away/ they haven’t seen their friend in a while πŸ₯Ί i like the feeling i get when i read that quote, that’s v sweet πŸ’•


3 replies
aquaaaaa OP May 2nd

@LoveMyMoonflowers

awhh thanku ni friend πŸ’™πŸ’™ seeing and reading your message also brings me so much joy to so thank you so much for that πŸ’™

and yeah it's definitely okay for people to take breaks. I just hope they're all doing well with everything. for me though the reason why I left still seems so muddled to me.. it's like I'm not sure myself.. but oh well

πŸ’™thanks for being so understanding and caring friend.. me really really really appreciates you for that lots and lots!! I hope one day we'll be able to turn back and say we made it πŸ’™πŸ’™

maybe my brain is recovering knowledge from those literature lessons but I love how the quote focuses on sensory stuff too.. it feels so grounded and just all warm n nice

and just thanks again friend πŸ’™πŸ’™ I appreciate you for everything from the bottom of my heart πŸ’™ we've got thiss!!

3 replies
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