Aqua at sea
I guess I'd take a crack at making one of these posts.. I hope I'll be able to just be myself and let my thoughts out.
I have so many things that are on my mind and only rarely do some get let out through my mouth so perhaps instead I'll type them out for a change.
TWs just in case
I don't really know who to tag here but if you wanna respond go for it π
ππ«ππ«ππ«π
I don't really know what's wrong today but my hands and soles feel like there's knives trying to stab out of them, I have legs of lead and my heart feels heavy yet light, it's being clutched and stabbed and my head is spinning and hurting too. I only really feel this way when I'm really sad or worried but yet nothing has went wrong today. maybe my subconscious is telling me something.
lately it's just been a feeling of saudade and staircase wit. sprinkle in irony too.
im starting to lose myself to those thoughts again. im losing my distractions and my safe spaces arent cutting it either. it feels as if every step i take comes at a cost and im barely affording those. the ropes that are thrown down to me only drag me down further.
If I could choose, I'd be a flower. I'd bloom with so many of these tears. But instead I'm a cactus, drowning in so many of these tears.
tw
what do i do? i didnt think itd get like this again, its scaring me too. i dont think i can do it much longer. but ill stay strong for my friends and my family and for myself.
im tired
i feel like shattered glass
@aquaaaaa
aqua friend π me hopes me is not intruding/invading this corner or anything π but if i am π i hope you know it okie to get my post here flagged/reported if it feels random/makes aqua friend uncomfy or anything okieβ¦? π (i also hope what i just said makes sense :/ i wish i knew how to explain things properly. lol.)Β
me knows iβve been away for a long time and i probably will pop in and out of cups, the way iβve been doing for a while now. π iβm not sure why :') butβ¦ idk, thatβs just what i do nowadays. π β¦i guess. :')Β
me just wanted to peekk in here and let you know i been thinking of you friend, and i been hoping your trying to take care of you (?) π because you deserve kindness friend and you deserve care π even if you donβt see/believe that right now. π₯Ί lots of love to you, aqua π your in my thoughts.Β
- ni π
@LoveMyMoonflowers
ni friend πππ me really really really appreciates you being here a lot, and don't worry you're not intruding at all π
I'm so sorry it took me so long just to reply π me hopes that's okay and you're doing good these days
I get being in n out of cups π, I guess I kinda did that too by disappearing for a week ish.. now that I think about it I don't know why I did it and coming back everything just feels so distant n I really hope maybe I just popped in at the wrong hour
thank you so much ni friend π it feels nice knowing that people care and I really needed that :) π and you're right about taking care of myself.. I should really do that lol, but don't worry I know I'll make it through ππ I hope for the same to you, you deserve nothing but the very best, kindness and care, I've been thinking lots of you too and I really really wish you the very best in everything because you deserve it and you have my word for it ππ lots n lots of love to you too ni friend π I'll always be here for you, and thank you so much for being here for me too π
here's a little quote I found about friends
"I hope you're okay out there, I hope the sun is shining on your face and you are breathing deeply. I miss you" π
@aquaaaaa
aww you donβt have to be sorry friend π itβs okie, it may have taken a while to reply but thatβs okay π seeing + reading your note still brought a smile to my face and sunshine to my day, so thank you π₯ΊΒ
i think i understand that tbh, coming back and everything feeling distant π i think itβs okay to take breaks from cups sometimes, sometimes we have a clear reason like we want to focus on our offline lifeβ¦ or sometimes itβs kinda just a feeling that we should leave for a bit, idk πΒ
itβs okay me understand how taking care of self can be hard :') you defo not alone in that friend π but me believes in you, me believes you can make it through too. π₯ΊΒ
thank you so much π₯Ί for your v kind words and for being here too friend πΒ
awww. thatβs so sweet :') i think that quote really, idk sums up? i think it kinda sums up how one feels when they think of their friend, who is maybe away/ they havenβt seen their friend in a while π₯Ί i like the feeling i get when i read that quote, thatβs v sweet π