Aqua at sea
I guess I'd take a crack at making one of these posts.. I hope I'll be able to just be myself and let my thoughts out.
I have so many things that are on my mind and only rarely do some get let out through my mouth so perhaps instead I'll type them out for a change.
TWs just in case
I don't really know who to tag here but if you wanna respond go for it 💙
💙🫂💙🫂💙🫂💙
I don't really know what's wrong today but my hands and soles feel like there's knives trying to stab out of them, I have legs of lead and my heart feels heavy yet light, it's being clutched and stabbed and my head is spinning and hurting too. I only really feel this way when I'm really sad or worried but yet nothing has went wrong today. maybe my subconscious is telling me something.
lately it's just been a feeling of saudade and staircase wit. sprinkle in irony too.
please.. im not a lab experiment..
im starting to lose myself to those thoughts again. im losing my distractions and my safe spaces arent cutting it either. it feels as if every step i take comes at a cost and im barely affording those. the ropes that are thrown down to me only drag me down further.
everytime i talk about one of the issues im having it feels as if im having a debate to prove myself. yet silver tongued me somehow struggles to articulate and express herself.
If I could choose, I'd be a flower. I'd bloom with so many of these tears. But instead I'm a cactus, drowning in so many of these tears.
I really thought things were looking up again.
but now I can't even get out of bed
tw
what do i do? i didnt think itd get like this again, its scaring me too. i dont think i can do it much longer. but ill stay strong for my friends and my family and for myself.
I feel alright :) 💙
it won't last but that's okay.
im tired
i feel like shattered glass
why am I always so stupid to ever think things would look up
it's not like they ever did
@aquaaaaa
aqua friend 💕 me hopes me is not intruding/invading this corner or anything 💜 but if i am 💜 i hope you know it okie to get my post here flagged/reported if it feels random/makes aqua friend uncomfy or anything okie…? 💕 (i also hope what i just said makes sense :/ i wish i knew how to explain things properly. lol.)
me knows i’ve been away for a long time and i probably will pop in and out of cups, the way i’ve been doing for a while now. 💜 i’m not sure why :') but… idk, that’s just what i do nowadays. 💕 …i guess. :')
me just wanted to peekk in here and let you know i been thinking of you friend, and i been hoping your trying to take care of you (?) 💜 because you deserve kindness friend and you deserve care 💕 even if you don’t see/believe that right now. 🥺 lots of love to you, aqua 💕 your in my thoughts.
- ni 💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers
ni friend 💙💙💙 me really really really appreciates you being here a lot, and don't worry you're not intruding at all 💙
I'm so sorry it took me so long just to reply 💙 me hopes that's okay and you're doing good these days
I get being in n out of cups 💙, I guess I kinda did that too by disappearing for a week ish.. now that I think about it I don't know why I did it and coming back everything just feels so distant n I really hope maybe I just popped in at the wrong hour
thank you so much ni friend 💙 it feels nice knowing that people care and I really needed that :) 💙 and you're right about taking care of myself.. I should really do that lol, but don't worry I know I'll make it through 💙💙 I hope for the same to you, you deserve nothing but the very best, kindness and care, I've been thinking lots of you too and I really really wish you the very best in everything because you deserve it and you have my word for it 💙💙 lots n lots of love to you too ni friend 💙 I'll always be here for you, and thank you so much for being here for me too 💙
here's a little quote I found about friends
"I hope you're okay out there, I hope the sun is shining on your face and you are breathing deeply. I miss you" 💙
@aquaaaaa
aww you don’t have to be sorry friend 💕 it’s okie, it may have taken a while to reply but that’s okay 💜 seeing + reading your note still brought a smile to my face and sunshine to my day, so thank you 🥺
i think i understand that tbh, coming back and everything feeling distant 💜 i think it’s okay to take breaks from cups sometimes, sometimes we have a clear reason like we want to focus on our offline life… or sometimes it’s kinda just a feeling that we should leave for a bit, idk 💕
it’s okay me understand how taking care of self can be hard :') you defo not alone in that friend 💜 but me believes in you, me believes you can make it through too. 🥺
thank you so much 🥺 for your v kind words and for being here too friend 💜
awww. that’s so sweet :') i think that quote really, idk sums up? i think it kinda sums up how one feels when they think of their friend, who is maybe away/ they haven’t seen their friend in a while 🥺 i like the feeling i get when i read that quote, that’s v sweet 💕
@LoveMyMoonflowers
awhh thanku ni friend 💙💙 seeing and reading your message also brings me so much joy to so thank you so much for that 💙
and yeah it's definitely okay for people to take breaks. I just hope they're all doing well with everything. for me though the reason why I left still seems so muddled to me.. it's like I'm not sure myself.. but oh well
💙thanks for being so understanding and caring friend.. me really really really appreciates you for that lots and lots!! I hope one day we'll be able to turn back and say we made it 💙💙
maybe my brain is recovering knowledge from those literature lessons but I love how the quote focuses on sensory stuff too.. it feels so grounded and just all warm n nice
and just thanks again friend 💙💙 I appreciate you for everything from the bottom of my heart 💙 we've got thiss!!
@aquaaaaa
aww you’re vv welcome 🥺💗
i understand that 💜 tbh it was pretty much the same for me too lol :') muddled and not-so sure. 💜 so i think i get what you mean 💜
i hope so too 💜
awww, your right tho it really does feel so warm and nice 💜
lots and lots of wuvv to you aqua friend 💕 thank you v much too 💜 for being so v kind to me smh 🥺 (also me sorry, ni friend feels like she’s kinda run out of words for now :/ idk why me not saying much, i’m sorry 😔)
@LoveMyMoonflowers
am back!! again
am sorry I took so long again ni friend💙.. life's just been getting at it and my times being squeezed hard, I'm sorry friend :')
it's okie too friend, I won't lie finding the right words takes time for me hehe 💙 and you don't have to thank me for being kind to you okie? you deserve it and I hope you know that friend 💙 after all that's how friends should be in my opinion 💙 lots n lots of wuvv to you too friend 💙
It's been a bit of time n I hope you're doing well friend, i hope life's treating you well and you're out there enjoying all the sun and flowers if that suits you (and cheese) hehe 💙
me really wants to be able to get back on cups for longer but aqua friend has some things she has to sort out 💙
in any case though I'm thinking of you friend 💙 lots n lots of wuvv to you again 💙💙
@aquaaaaa
i’m 10 hours late :( but still - welcome back 💜 and friend i promise you don’t have to be sorry, it’s okies. i’m sorry to hear it’s been hard for you lately :( me not sure what’s going on and ik i wouldn’t be able to help very much but if you do ever need to talkie about anything friend i’m just a tag away, i can listen. 💜 replies might be slow though especially this week (i’m going to be travelling a lot this week) but me trying 💜
i hope whatever aqua friend is dealing with right now/sorting out will be sorted out soon 💜 i hope things get better and better for you buddy.
i been okie friend, me had some not so okie days and moments but i been trying to take care of self 💜 me hopes you been trying also amid everything
i’m thinking of you too 💜 you’ll be in my thoughts. 💜 *accepts lots of wuv and sends some back to you* and yes we love cheese hehe :o
@LoveMyMoonflowers
awh noo you're not late by any means friend. Life's just been doing its thing I guess :') 💙 don't doubt yourself on how much you can help okie? you're an amazing friend n I like to think it matters more if we care rather than how well we might help yknow? 💙 there's so many things I'd love to share honestly, this week was alrighty n pretty fun n I wanna share that happiness with you 💙 me also made a poem.. think I might make more but who knows hehe. I hope you have a good time traveling friend 💙
am very glad you've been trying friend 💙 me has been trying too, and just remember I'm also just a tag away 💙 (.. albeit my reply times are kindaaa..) and yeah, hopefully things sort themselves out n I appreciate that 💙
hehe infinite cycle of wuv n cheese 💙