parker’s emptying their brains out
anyone can read this dont feel bad i just think this would be good for me.
i think i’m going crazy. ever since march 10th i’ve been crying every single day. it’s like it never stops and now that they’re gone it’s so much worse. i feel stupid for believing their stupid promises. forever is dumb. saying forever is dumber. i just want them to tell me everything will be alright again i guess, they were my comfort and nothing else really helps. closure didn’t even work because i can’t accept they hate me-?? there is something wrong with me. this shouldn’t be the only thing on my mind but it is-??? i have so many worse issues but they are all my brain wants. they made everything seem less important. i wish i wasn’t like this. i wish i wasn’t desperate for love. it hurts so fucking bad. and no one is helping everyone is sick of me or doesn’t care and i know i shouldn’t still care i know that but i can’t help it. i can’t help but re read every text wondering where i went wrong. thinking about what i could’ve changed. i guess it’s just hard. i’ve been on the edge bc of this for so long.
@loserparker
😮 I found the thread of an amazing Parker ❤️
Good to see ya again, friend 🤗
Oh no, that sounds overwhelming 🥺 I know what it’s like to lose someone close to you, and feel like everything is going downhill. It isn’t easy, and it can take a toll on our self-confidence, and leave us worried about the future and make us doubt ourselves a whole lot. Buuuuut, I want you to know that you’re not alone in this. I’m here for you, my friend. ❤️ *offers hugs*
@loserparker
Hey Parker!
I'm sorry you're going through a lot right now. Having someone we cherish leaving us is indeed a hard thing to deal with. I've been consumed by the thought of someone I hold dear to my heart too. And it's been years for me. Some days were a little easier. Some other days I would just be drawn back to all those thoughts and went spiraling again.
I, too, have been hard on myself. I often take myself back to those moments and couldn't help but wonder how the situation might have been different if there were things I had done differently. But I guess it only means that we care so much. And maybe we can't really make sense of the impact it had on us. But it makes sense in its own way. Maybe not in the rational kind of way. It makes sense because we care.
Feel free to pour yourself here. It's better to let it out than to keep it in. And don't worry about how things would sound as you write it down. All your emotions are valid. Even if there might be times when you think it's a bit of a mess. Admitting, owning, embracing, and verbalizing all those emotions are part of the process. Nothing is too crazy when it comes to love.
i apologized to them- i thought that would make me feel better or make me feel like a good person but it didnt. i’ve been reading it constantly going over the things i said wrong. i just want to start over with them be able to help them feel better be able to help them trust me. i think me saying sorry gave them more closure then it gave me. it was supposed to be for me. but now they can be completely over me and i’m still stuck.
