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Venting
allihaveknownishurt March 31st, 2022
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Trigger warning:

im so tired of everything. i just got out of the mental hospital for suicide attempt and i feel like i was happier in there than i am out here living with my abusive mom. nothing i do is ever good enough i am just a mistake. i barely sleep anymore and when i do i have such horrible nightmares. i cant talk to my best friend cause my mom hates her. and i cant listen to music cause my mom want me to play my music out loud and then she hates my music. i cant write how i feel cause if my mom finds it she'll be mad. another thing, I'm pansexual and my mom doesn't know and I'm scared to tell her and i am sure if she finds out she will disown me. i also like dressing up like a boy more than like a girl but she doesn't approve of that. i wrote a rap that i hope she doesn't find about all the hell she has put me through she is the reason i want to be dead.

6
Punkfan0208 March 31st, 2022
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@allihaveknownishurt

Hey, I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. I also have an abusive parent and am also LGBTQ+ :)

Even though I don't know you, I know how hard the mix of parental abuse and LGBTQ+ identity can be. Sometimes it feels totally un-copeable. I don't know if you've ever heard of a concept called chosen family, but sometimes it's the ones in our life who we choose, and not relatives, who are are our biggest supporters. Do you go to school/ have any way to access lgbtq resources?

-Punkfan

allihaveknownishurt OP March 31st, 2022
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@Punkfan0208

i dont have access to any resourses but i do go to school

Punkfan0208 March 31st, 2022
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@allihaveknownishurt


Does your school have a GSA or PRIDE club? It may or may not depending on where you live. Sometimes if you live near a town or city they might have an LGBTQ+ Center but those can be hard to get to if you don't have transportation.

Im really sorry that your mom isn't/wouldnt be accepting of you. There are people in this world who are going to love you!

allihaveknownishurt OP March 31st, 2022
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@Punkfan0208

no my school dont have any of that which makes me sad

Punkfan0208 April 1st, 2022
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I'm sorry that your school doesn't have that as an option. That really sucks. When I was in high school I had to start our GSA and it's really unfair that the work should be on youth shoulders to start programs like that. Do you have any therapist/school psychiatrist you could speak to confidentially about your experiences?

-Punkfan0208

allihaveknownishurt OP April 1st, 2022
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@Punkfan0208

no i has no one

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