THETAJFTOJS II

Nonsense like this is why an image in my mind persists of me needing to look like D.Johnson so as to not be pestered by all those too indifferent to go beyond archaic attitudes.

=_= >:I HOW !?!?,why ?!!? , When you're usually at desk in the centre and my feet are facing towards the back centre pillar, you had to f--g make an effort to be patrolling esp.if your not using the mirrors just to reprimand me for not wearing shoes while doing yoga pasmado !!!

Is it just b/c of those weeks back when I f--g took a chance among th f--g weight area to do bar lifting and you told me to put away my bag as if I wasn't aware that there was next to no way to enter without locker use ?. Are your expectations of me that low that you'd have thought I somehow entered barefoot ?!

Fyi, instructors past have told us to go barefoot and I'm pretty sure it wasn't only the one who taught us about using massage balls for the feet, you fool !?!

Sure, I don't have a normative gym bag and use a meager grocery bag of sorts and get put on the spot

I at least got ~15 minutes in..I might return there..

unwritten rule: please bring one of these in

https://www.amazon.ca/s?k=gym+bag&crid=1UFH0G8152FTN&sprefix=gym+bag%2Caps%2C90&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

so as to all the more likely be left alone b/c anything else is to f--g weird and we don't really have the integrity to post a dress code out in the open as to what weirds us out

F--g s--ks how when it comes to other gym options, the nearst Y is in far too dismal an area, the one where my brother goes to isn't much better and has a vast pain in the a--s maze of a parking lot to walk through..

the super remote one in Ancaster turf was nice but so off-puttingly distant..which leaves the mall one which I know of or the one near the suburban thrift store/former locale of my aunt-in-law which is one I haven't gone to before.

=_= Or you know have to carefully work out whilst judgier higher-ups of sorts aren't present

point of the d--n story is I f--g hate being put on the spot by self-righteous fools who live being remorseless about pinpointing things on me and being ignorant enough to keep low expectations on me..

..unneccesary fuming would be me wondering how it could apply to the parents outlook of a potential partner onto me =_=

Barely moments after being put on the spot someone else popped up next to me and did there exercise closer to barefoot (wearing socks)

I find it condescending when ppl say ~'I believe you[/my name] can do it !' esp. after me a spiel where I'm reprimanded and bring up sensitivities--one of the few bad memories from a mental health expert who I spoke to last, who recommended I seek naturopathy instead of counseling.

=_= `_` I kind of need both. Naturopathy nearby and with a viable price and relevant approach is difficult to come by and increasingly I've attained, regained a better idea of what to bring up in counseling in ways which diverge from tinnitus like and exercise concerns (for which naturopathy is needed).

The time in which I'm becoming confident enough to do a factory reset on a now not main iPhone is getting nearer and nearer

In some hypothetical postscarcity future where there is a guarantee that no one will ever again struggle with anything below tier ~2.5 of Maslow's hierarchy*, I could see sports psychologists and sports psychology being integrated much more holistically into mental health services and frameworks even if somehow say sports themselve's weren't to exist. It's be an enhanced over what positive psychology based on mindfulness and meditation was already around.

Both in the interest of better addressing the fitness mind-body factors of a society where ppl consistently commit to that and also..b/c I think that understanding, addressing and redirecting competitive impulses might persist as an issue which has to be preventively addressed to address 'inner demons' (like that with myself included).

* I know, I know it's better to think of it with the takes of it as a network or cycle: modern-maslow-jpeg.jpg (622×570) (wordpress.com)

Ex. of what I meant about how competitiveness can make for inner demons

https://youtu.be/Ml0zRkknbWo?t=57 and it really clicks in at 3:10+ . From what I understand and remember the character was mainly a collegiate wrestler ?.

Before work, rice+soup please

I did that.

There are overlaps btw making friends and cults and I like to know them.

Also the overlaps b/c songwriting and phonocentric poetry.

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I got a box of chores at work plus Shakira's MTV unplugged album, the last of her output before venturing into the Anglophonic market with the 'Laundry service' album. It was alright and 'Tu sombra'/'Your shadow' was nice to hear even if she said it was written at a very late night full of heartache..personally hearing 'Ojos asi'/'Eyes like this' and the more energetic songs near the end was a bit of disappointing mood whiplash after getting nice sorrowfully mellow vibes from 'Your shadow'.

Found a new comic book section, had a nice chat with someone on the bus and thankfully had no issue explaining to a cashier how I had no intention to buy grapes after thinking it was reduced produce.

1:00 pm appointment and 9:30 am appointments. Tomorrow and Tuesday.

Thinking about cancelling Tuesday appointment mayhaps

Stopped a fixation after less than several minutes.

Paranoia of bad things happening to me happens now.

Fridge making iffy noises and news of a toilet issue from a neighbor down the hallway bothers me

Cute old reminder

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/coZgGvCESx4

Lest I forget what I iff-ily departed from

The hypothetical equivalent to a journal from the old journal section - 7 Cups Forum

Expecting bizarre whooping and laughing from upstairs resident any moment now. Will it transpire ?.

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How I want to come off as sometimes..

or maybe

"Think of all their crossings
Taking steps is easy
Standing still is hard"

--Regina Spektor 'You've got time'/the 'Orange is the new black' intro

There is privacy here so I'm intrepid enough to think this not crude or at least not too crude,

the sounds of the vulture like Skeksis

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpIoPQHYhrw

are comparable to the sounds behind my eyes when seeing someone appealling..please no homeliness comparision of me to them

Factory reset/retired my iPhone 8, noble machine.

Pornography lapse, pornography lapse..still want to go to bookstore if I can muster it on this rainy aftermath day

Gorillaz - Rockit (Official Video) - YouTube

lyrically resonating
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I'd like to see a fusion of Humberto Ramos and Jamie Hewlett's styles

I'm here b/c I'm still sane and aware plus grateful for not having the super-owrry/'paranoia' kick in after exposure

*worry* --- d--n self-demonstration of what I feel >_<

Maybe I just crave attention, maybe I don't

Self-loathing amounts cut by maybe half at the expense of much sleep as we veer closer to down (~3:55 am EST here)

Does anyone else ever feel undeserving to cheer themselves up after a fixation bout since it seems deluded to the choice aftermath your fearing to wait have happen ?.

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The way how spam laden dm's can be you'd think that if you truly did win big for a survey you did the company who'd have sent it would put exceptional work into making sure it is recieved.

The ~'space cadets'(?) meme song playing at Korean restaurant

I can dwell on this later

My mother told him not too long ago how while I entered kindergarten knowing and understanding English, I couldn't yet communicate in it and it was the start of a trend where I'd constantly ask my parents for translations on things.

I previously thought it was only the autism which has keeping me uncommunicative. I've 1/4+ of chronological distance from kindergarten as to say that linguistic undergoing is still relevant.

I'm confident enough to say that my jazz fondness phase is over. It's back to a neutral fondness after having learned some things along the way, like how Jethro Tull is what I kind of wish jazz sounded like more when I was very young in contrast to the seemingly uninspired 'space filler' quality of smooth jazz (even if Kenny G is more appreciated by me now).

This. Such an excellent highlight of what nonverbal communication modalities can mean

https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/1084030572838990841/

Nice hue of blue and accompanying clouds disappearing into the darkness for the beginning of sunset

balance and breathing capacity