Ni's Little Solace
Not sure why I am creating this thread exactly, and I'm doing this so late at night as well :') I just felt... like I should do this haha. I do have a one line a day thread although I... don't think I have felt so free over there to write as much as I wished. So I thought maybe... I should just make another thread, a diary perhaps.. where I can really be myself.. and maybe post pictures and quotes, literary quotes maybe... and poems.. specifically haiku hehe. Also vents.. thoughts and maybe letters :')
Replies are welcome as well <3 although please remember to stay respectful and kind.
*sending lots of love and hugs because why not*
do you ever just…. question, literally everything.
i’m not sure if “question” is even the right word idk how to describe this.
@LoveMyMoonflowers
Rainbow bear 🌈 🧸 knows what Nii 🌙🥧 meant.. It's like, "what am I doing with my life?'
@VictoriaLove7
Yeah…. :')
tw///crisisey stuff. :/ just my life…… idk idk
i wasn’t able to sleep last night. at all.…. during the day you have some distractions at least. you can distract yourself. at night you don’t have those distractions anymore, everything just… comes back. everything, just everything.
I'm so tired honestly. i can’t even describe anything, what i feel, what i think, what’s happening, what’s happened. i can't describe any of this *** properly but i’m just so tired. It hurts so bad and yet i’m numb.
i used to think of ending myself every day but it’s not always like that anymore. Those darker thoughts are always somewhere in the back of my mind. it never really leaves you…. I’m not always seriously thinking about it but those thoughts are always there at the back, waiting.
i feel sick this morning. i feel this void. it will never go away. depression combined with the grief. I'm tired. i don’t know what to call this.
The first thought that came to me when i sat down to post this was…. “I feel strangely su1c1dal today.” because it’s true. i won’t say “i can’t do this anymore” because i have been “doing this” breathing, existing, for years and years now. 14 years. So i can. but do i want to, anymore?
No. not really.
forgot to add tw///grief, loss.
@LoveMyMoonflowers
Nii 🌙🥧🥺 *huggss if okie*
@VictoriaLove7
Hugs.
i sound stupid.
which is fine.
because i am pretty stupid
@LoveMyMoonflowers
Not stupid, hurting. Which is unfair and tiring and just too much at times but not stupid and not your fault 🩷
@unassumingEyes
💜💜💜
i don’t really understand why i have to be here
@LoveMyMoonflowers
Rainbow bear 🌈🧸 is glad that Nii 🌙🥧 here \(^-^)/
@VictoriaLove7 me too 🩷
not here as in cups… here as in here-here.
@LoveMyMoonflowers
Because Nii 🌙🥧 has a purpose in this world, Nii 🌙🥧 not know yet \(^-^)/
tired. really tired. *** tired.
@LoveMyMoonflowers
Nii 🌙🥧🥺, sits with Nii 🌙🥧 if okie
@VictoriaLove7
it's okie.
when is "too much" too much though
@LoveMyMoonflowers
me keeps sitting with Nii 🥧🌙🥺 if okie