Ni's Little Solace

@LoveMyMoonflowers I'm glad you're ok 💙 Things have been bearable here. Taking everything one moment at a time - thank you for asking :)

@mytwistedsoul

I’m glad to hear things have been bearable 💙 Sending massive hugs your way 🥺🫂 I’m always here for you if you need to talk about it a little more. 💙 

@LoveMyMoonflowers Thank you for the hugs 💙 I've been feeling like I could use - well - massive amounts of massive hugs lately. lol I hope you know that I'm always here for you too - for anything. I might not have any answers but I'm here - I'll listen - no judgement - ever 💙 

Sending hugs back 😊💙

@mytwistedsoul

Thank you :'3 I appreciate that so much. 💜 Sending more hugs your way 🫂

@LoveMyMoonflowers I'm sorry you have trouble with this too. I haven't been writing or journaling much either tbh. I think about it but then decide not to. Sometimes I just don't have the energy for it or I just don't feel like listening to myself whine or complain lol

@mytwistedsoul

I’m the same way lol. I think about it and think and think and think, but I just never do it. I guess we need to remind ourselves that we deserve our own love and care too. We deserve to take some time for ourselves. And it’s not easy, but… we can try :'3 

I’m glad you’re hanging in there. I’m not sure what’s happening right now 😞 but I’m glad you’re here 💙 and that you’re hanging in there. 💜 I really do believe in you. 

I’m alright, I think :'3 Thank you for asking 💜 Hehe I’m so glad the weekend is finally here lol. I get to sleep a little more 💤 I love sleep, hehe. Do Soul have any plans for the weekend? 💙

@LoveMyMoonflowers They say journaling is a good way for self-care but self care can be hard to do some days. It can be hard to find time too to be able to write. It's like all the words are there but they're locked inside. My favorite is typing out a big post for myself and then someone in my brain says to delete it all. Then I'll write it all over again and delete that too lol *smh* frustrating 🤪

@mytwistedsoul

Self-care can be so hard tbh :'3 I get that yeah. I’m the same way hehe. The words are inside me but I just. can’t. get. them. out. I do that a lot too. There are a lot of people in my head, I’ve been suspecting it’s DID but I just dk anymore. I feel too scared to learn anything about myself. 

I hear you, that must be really frustrating hehe :'3 Sending lots of love 💜

My parents don’t mind me sleeping in :3 Sometimes I sleep *too much* but we won’t talk about thaaattt, lols. I’m the kind of person who either sleeps too little or too much 🤪

Aww I really do hope it will be a nice, quiet weekend for you 💙 How do you feel about cold, rainy weather? :'3 I really hope you can go to the Renaissance faire next year 💜 It sounds funsies. 

@LoveMyMoonflowers Sometimes the learning and knowing is just as scary as not learning and knowing. With not knowing we can pretend things aren't happening. It causes problems eventually though 😕 but I think I kind of preferred being blissfully ignorant. Or to just think I was crazy - nuts. For alittle while I thought schizophrenia - tbh I kind of hoped for awhile - because there's meds for that. I was diagnosed in 2019. Now - idk - it's just hard

Maybe you could just start to look into things slowly? Alittle here and there. Or check out the teen chat they have for it - if you haven't already - ask some questions. The ctad clinic has a channel on YouTube that is really good

@mytwistedsoul

That’s true :'3 Being blissfully ignorant is fun but eventually it’s just not fun anymore :/ I just feel so scared. I’ve been trying to accept… that I might actually be a system but just the thought of it feels too scary. Idk. 

Aww 😞 how do you feel about the diagnosis? I can’t really get diagnosed/seek professionals where I live. Tbh even if I could my parents wouldn’t let me see a professional lol. They don’t take mental health v seriously :'3 *sigh* anyways…

Idk I might. I have a buddy on cupsies who has DID but they seem pretty busy on their L. I’d just hate to bother them about it. I seem pretty reluctant to talk about this even though it’s something I struggle with every single day :/ The things we struggle with every day seem to be the things we don’t want to talk about. Or maybe I just think that and it’s not really true. Idk anymore. 

Oops that became a little rant of mine. I’m sorry about that :'3 Seriously. 

I’ll definitely check that channel out 💙 thank you so much :'3 I appreciate that. 💜

No, now that I really think about it, there’s no such thing as too much sleep 😅 Yay it’s nice to know I’m not the only one in the club lol. I just can’t seem to sleep well except in the weekends. How do you usually deal with not being able to sleep? :( other than the tea hehe 💜

It does, it really does. I hope the weather gets a little better there 💜 we don’t get snow here. I’ve never actually seen/touched snow in my entire life, lol. Maybe someday though. 💙 do you like it when it snows over there? :3 

Spring and summer are awesome, but spring doesn’t really exist here 😅 We’ve got our merciless summer sun and then the biting cold of winter. That’s pretty much what it’s like here lol. Except it doesn’t get *too* cold. The weather here isn’t amazing but it isn’t horrible, either. 

@LoveMyMoonflowers Acceptance is the hardest part 😞  Tbh I was scared - well terrified is more like it and in denial for a long long time. The denial and lack of acceptance made it worse. Even now some days when my head is quieter I think - maybe it was just a fluke - a phase 😅 but then something happens or someone says something. For the longest time I was embarrassed - mainly here. I would find things written with my name that clearly wasn't my writing. One of my others writes the poems on the gloaming thread 😅 I have to admit I still get alittle nervous talking about all this - bad sharing experiences here 😕

@mytwistedsoul

I hear you 😞 It really can be so difficult to accept it :'3 That’s so relatable. Some days my head is quiet and then someone says something lol. Other days they just won’t stop talking. Ever. Our littles come out a lot but my family’s used to seeing that. They think I’m just acting.

I’m the same way. I look at something I wrote but… I didn’t really write that. It wasn’t me, it was one of them. There are huge inconsistencies in my handwriting too, because sometimes I’m writing and then other times someone else is. Does… that… make sense? :'3 hehe. Idk. 

Aww it’s okay to feel nervous talking about it 💙 that’s completely understandable. I feel pretty nervous talking about it too. Sending so much love your way 💜

it is a shame 😞 and hehe yes I think I’ve mentioned it before :'3 it’s hard to not mention it on an emotional support site. Idk. I really hope I can see professionals someday. 

The truth is I don’t remember going to so much trauma. There are bits and pieces of things I know have happened but I can’t remember them entirely. And yeah that makes sense dw 💜 Sometimes they like to think… or they just think it’s their body, it’s their life. 

Hehe I’d hate to bother you with the questions. 💜 I’m still so nervous about it and just so scared… even the thought of it’s just… overwhelming. Right now I’m pretty sure I’ll be looking into it a tiny bit… just now and then… *sigh*

I’m so sorry 😞 I get up a lot in the middle of the night too :< Sending huggles your way 😞💜 

I think snow is so pretty too. It’s never snowed here, ever. Ouh I’d love to see the pictures :0 if that’s okay with you 💜

The hot hot summer here is *not* fun *at all.* it can get really humid here during the summer, yeah. Not fun :'3 lol. Does it get very hot there in the summer? 

Aww nuu there’s no need to be sorry 💙 I love long messages/long posts lol. 

@LoveMyMoonflowers Aww it's good the littles get to come out though - even if your parents think you're just acting. It's pretty clear they wouldn't understand anyway 😕 

@mytwistedsoul

Hehe yes. It used to freak me about before :'3 before I started learning more… about… things :'3 They wouldn’t 😕 yeah. But it’s fine 💙 

Food, music, movies, shows, clothing… we disagree so much lol. I was definitely freaked out but it was a gradual sort of freaking out. Like… wondering why my handwriting looks so different here, and there :'3 and all that. I’m still figuring things out, and learning..

Thank you so much 💜 I appreciate that so much 💙 How did you first feel when you learnt more about… all this… if it’s okay to ask? :'3 And yeah, that blissful feeling just… vanishes :/ Some days I just try forgetting everything I’ve learnt about it and I pretend they’re just voices in my head, I tell myself it’s nothing crazy, it doesn’t mean anything :'3 *sigh*

Ouh thank you 💙 but there’s no pressure to share the pictures 💜 I get that hehe :'3 we can feel shy sharing things like that sometimes, and that’s okies 💕 no worries :3 

That’s awful :< Too much heat can be pretty overwhelming sometimes hehe. I like warmth too but when it’s *hot* and when it’s just *too much* then… it’s just too much 😭 lol. Thank you for the hugs and love 💜 Sending lots of love and huggles right back atcha 💙 

@LoveMyMoonflowers No it's not fine but there's not much you can do about it 😞 And you're still taking things into your own hands by looking into things and doing your own research. A lot of people start their journey that way - a lot of people do even with a therapist. That way you're not "uneducated" and can be your best advocate 😊 

@mytwistedsoul

I’m sorry for the late reply :'3 Well… that’s true… I haven’t been doing that much research recently. Just too scared. I’m just tired. Idk.

I thought of possession too :'3 it scared me even more. Fear and disbelief certainly sound familiar to me too 😞 I am sorry that guy was pretty horrible :< But I’m glad you’ve found the right person who is helpful 💙 like you said, it’s a big deal finding someone you click with 💙 I’m so glad to hear it helped you understand so much more 💜 Your journey gives me some more hope, honestly. Thank you 💜

Aww I’m so sorry to hear about that 😞 I care 💜 Seriously. Sending so much love your way 💙

Hehe so glad to make you laugh 😛 and that’s so true tbh. In the summer we want mercy 😭 and in the winter we want warmth.