My place to Hide

Tbh idk why I am doing this, I can just feel my self slipping away. I can’t hold on for much longer. As Taylor swift says: “sometimes giving up is the strong thing” “sometimes to run is the brave thing” “sometimes walking out is the one thing” “that will find u the right thing”

I just want to be normal to be accepted as I am

I really wish I had the courage to get proper help and not brush things off in front of people. I want to truly be ok again I want to feel safe and stop stupid flashbacks. I am beginning to not care about myself again. I was talking to someone yesterday and was having flashbacks and they asked if I have googled ways to help my self during them but I hadn’t. I realise now I actually didn’t care at the time, I want to get better yet I am not doing anything about it and that’s just *** up. If I want help I need to step up and get it and do something about it. I’m just scared I will get rejected and hurt more, people will start using all this as a bribe a way to get me to do things. I don’t want to feel that way again…

I’m trying to pick myself up but I can’t, idk what to do I really don’t. I’m getting frustrated at little things and mad for no reason at all. I find myself hurting myself when I’m not paying attention to what I’m doing, it’s just a habit, I can’t deal anymore. I feel like a weak pathetic person. I ranted and raved like a stupid idiot in chat room for so many to see and now people know that I’m struggling they know I’m not strong enough to carry on. I want to give up I just can’t anymore. There is only so much people can take and idk if I can take any more I have reached the limit. I am DONE pretending to be ok I am DONE having to put on a smile and tell people I am good. I want to scream at the top of my lungs I just can’t breathe. I feel like I am drowning like I am suffocating. I am hurting so bad yet people in real life don’t see that. They only see the part of me that is fake. I want people to see the real me but I don’t want to scare them away I don’t want them to pitty me. I just want to escape to a place where no one cared if someone is so mentally *** up, I am hurting and want to be heard I want people to know I don’t want to be alone but I am scared I will be if I share my feelings. I want to live not just be alive. I just can’t be hurt anymore not by others nor by myself. I need to be strong but I can’t I can’t anymore I have lost the will and my family can’t even see that. That hurts, they live with me yet they don’t understand me I just can’t anymore

@Swiftygirl13

hey i get the frustration n stuff its hard when ppm in real life dont understand or even try to but dw about venting in the chat thats what its there for n i promise im never gonna judge u for anything so dont feel weak or pathetic cos u aint

@DarkerPlaces

thx u friend I just can’t anymore lol

@Swiftygirl13 I also want to escape to a place where no one cares how me tally messed up I am,.or at least a place where I'm given time to grow, I appreciate your public venting, very relatable and comforting, I might do the same once I figure out how to post lol

@affableTown5581

yeah, I’m so sorry u feel like I want to go to a place where people don’t care, I know how how hard this feeling is. I’m trying to do it so I can do it irl to people who can help me

I am crying so hard rn but it hurts so much because I have to do it quietly lol so mum or sisters don’t hear

*higglessss swiftyyyy* <3<3<3 thinking of youu.